Challenges with ERP

This is such a tough part of ERP, and I completely understand why it feels so hard. OCD thrives on doubt, and sometimes when you resist compulsions, it can feel like you're ‘agreeing’ with the thought—which can be incredibly distressing. But remember, ERP is not about proving or disproving your thoughts—it’s about learning to tolerate uncertainty without engaging with OCD’s demands. That said, since this is such a personal and nuanced challenge, it’s really important to talk to your therapist about it. They can help you navigate how to approach response prevention in a way that works best for you without reinforcing OCD’s fears. You're not alone in this, and having professional support can make a huge difference!

That’s amazing, and such an inspiring reminder of how powerful ERP can be! Sitting with discomfort is one of the hardest parts, but your progress shows that it does get easier with time. It takes so much strength to resist compulsions, especially when they feel like the only way to feel safe—but your experience proves that freedom from OCD is possible. Thank you for sharing this—it’s so encouraging for others who are still in the thick of it. If you could go back and give yourself advice at the start of ERP, what would you say?

@Rachel Owsley Oh wow, good question. The funny thing is, when I first started ERP, I really had a hard time hearing or accepting any kind of positive advice. So I don’t know if I would listen to myself lol. But, I think I would tell myself that ERP is going to open so many doors. I worked through my fears of driving, so I can go so many more places. I left a toxic job and found a better job I’ve been trying to get into for a long while. I left an abusive relationship. I was so focused on surviving my exposures that I didn’t know the bigger picture was unfolding.

@MichelleV Wow, thank you so much for sharing this—what an incredibly powerful reflection. It’s amazing how you not only survived those exposures, but how they became stepping stones to a much fuller, freer life. Your story is such a great reminder that ERP isn’t just about tolerating discomfort—it’s about reclaiming the life OCD tried to take away. And I love what you said about not being able to hear positive advice at first—that's so relatable. When you’re deep in it, it’s hard to imagine that things could get better, let alone open up new possibilities. But you’ve shown that with time, courage, and persistence, they really do. Your journey is incredibly inspiring, and I know it will mean a lot to others in the middle of their ERP work. Thank you again for sharing—it’s a beautiful example of what’s possible on the other side of fear.

@MichelleV Wow I can relate to this because I realized I can use ERP for things that are not even ocd related . ERP can be useful Just facing day to day fears

That’s a great question, and the answer is both—but in different ways. Resisting compulsions is key because compulsions are what keep OCD alive. Every time you engage in a compulsion—whether it’s checking, seeking reassurance, mentally reviewing, or avoiding—you reinforce the OCD cycle. Resisting compulsions through Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is what helps retrain your brain to tolerate uncertainty and discomfort without needing to "fix" it. But acceptance is just as important, especially from an ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) perspective. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking intrusive thoughts or anxiety, but rather allowing them to exist without trying to control them. OCD wants you to fight, argue, analyze, or neutralize—but the more you accept that these thoughts and feelings will come and go, the less power they have. So instead of seeing it as "either/or," think of it this way: Resisting compulsions is about changing your behaviors so you don’t feed OCD. Acceptance is about changing your relationship with your thoughts so you’re not at war with them. Together, they help you move toward a life where OCD doesn’t control you. You’re not trying to eliminate thoughts or force yourself to "feel right"—you’re learning to live fully despite uncertainty. That’s real freedom. Does that perspective help? Let me know what part of this feels hardest for you!

@Rachel Owsley Thank you for this insight!

@Crook You're so welcome! I'm really glad it was helpful. OCD can be incredibly tricky, but understanding how resisting compulsions and acceptance work together is a big step toward breaking free from its grip.

That’s a great and important question. ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) for POCD can be really challenging—but it’s also highly effective when done gradually and with guidance. First, it’s important to understand that POCD is not about desire—it’s about fear. People with POCD are horrified by the intrusive thoughts they have, and that distress is what fuels the OCD cycle. ERP works by helping them face those thoughts and feelings without doing the compulsions (like avoiding kids, mentally reviewing, or seeking reassurance) that keep OCD going. Here’s a general framework for ERP with POCD, ideally done with a trained therapist: 1. Create a fear hierarchy: List situations that trigger OCD, from least to most distressing. For example: Looking at a photo of a child Being in a room where a child is present Watching a movie that includes children Thinking the thought “What if I’m attracted to kids?” and sitting with it 2. Exposure: Gradually expose oneself to these triggers—starting with the least distressing—on purpose without avoiding or neutralizing. 3. Response Prevention: While doing the exposure, resist compulsions—don’t seek reassurance, mentally review, try to prove one's innocence, or avoid the discomfort. The goal is to let the thoughts exist without reacting, even if they cause anxiety or uncertainty. 4. Accept uncertainty: This is the core of ERP. Instead of trying to “make sure” they are not a bad person, they could practice saying things like, “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I can live with not knowing.” It’s uncomfortable, but that’s what teaches the brain that the thoughts aren’t dangerous. ERP is hard, especially with themes that target one's sense of morality—but with the right support, it’s absolutely possible to get better. If you are dealing with this issue and haven’t already, I strongly recommend working with a therapist who specializes in OCD. You’re not alone, and you can get through this.

@Rachel Owsley Thank u

Thank you so much for sharing that—it sounds incredibly painful, and I really admire your willingness to talk about it openly. Harm OCD can be especially distressing because it targets your deepest values and fears, which is exactly why it feels so real and so upsetting. That sense of “What if I like this?” or “What if I want to do it?” is one of OCD’s cruelest tricks—and the fact that it feels disturbing is actually a strong indicator that these thoughts go against who you truly are. Since you’re already working with a therapist (which is great!), I’m curious—what do you think draws you to hearing from others, too? Sometimes hearing that you’re not alone or that others have had similar thoughts can be incredibly relieving in a non-reassuring way—it helps reduce shame and isolation without trying to prove anything. You’re doing something really hard by resisting reassurance, and that’s a huge step. Sitting with the discomfort, even when it tells you something terrible about yourself, is the heart of this work. If it’s helpful, some people find it useful to respond to OCD with a shrug, like: “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” Not because they believe it, but because leaning into uncertainty is what actually weakens OCD’s grip over time. You’re not alone in this—and the fact that you’re facing it head-on says a lot about your strength.