BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 24w
It's all OCD
The repeating thoughts about insecurities, negative self talk, and not being good though are just more of OCD. I feel so done.
issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 24w
Yes and that goes for unmerited negativity towards those you love as well is what I’ve noticed. Constant criticism of my boyfriend in my head, it’s exhausting and so confusing. It’s all so frustrating. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard being bombarded by these thoughts but no matter the content, OCD is just OCD, you know how to combat it. You’re strong and you can do this
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 24w
I don't know if I know how to combat it actually. I'm constantly getting the same stupid dumb thoughts about myself and I'm just really pissed off and irritated by them.
issphra 🫶🏻issphra 🫶🏻
- Date posted
- 24w
@BigGyro09 You treat it like your other OCD thoughts, like a bully. That’s the example my therapist gave me. You wouldn’t argue back and forth with a bully because they’ll just get meaner, louder, and more nasty. You’re not supposed to reply, but if you need to, go against your instinct to defend yourself. **Bully calls your mom fat?** “Yep, she’s huge.” **Bully calls you a pathetic human?** “Yeah I’m scum.” **Bully calls you ugly and short (in an insulting way)?** “YEP and I LOVE IT.” What’s the bully gonna do? Say **oh my god *you* CALLED YOUR MOM FAT?** “Yep, I did.” **You’re an awful person** “Hell yeah, I’m the worst.” It’s normal to get mad at the bully. That’s okay, a healthy response. But don’t let the bully see that. I hope that kinda helps
j vvj vv
- Date posted
- 24w
Sorry you are feeling this way. Hopefully you are working in therapy on this — it’s made a big difference in my life after a pretty short time. My reactions to my intrusive thoughts were often anger, frustration, self-doubt or self punishment, etc. What I’m learning is that not every thought deserves a reaction. Not every thought is indicative of who you are. They are just thoughts. If your brain feeds you a weird one every now and again that makes you uncomfortable, practicing sitting with that uncertainty (with the guidance of a therapist) is how you break the anxiety/fear/anger feedback loop. Hopefully you get there soon. For now, try not to be too hard on yourself. Take a break from worrying. Log what you are feeling so you can bring it up in therapy in your next appointment and then distract yourself with things you enjoy. I’m a big believer that small positive changes can make HUGE positive shifts over time. Good luck!!
BigGyro09BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 24w
Honestly I forgot about the whole "thoughts are just thoughts" things. The thing with my thoughts is that I can actually disprove them with facts but I think that's just reassurance that makes them come back again and again. I don't know if I would keep on disproving them or I should just let them be there. I'm not sure if letting them be there helps but I definitely will say searching compulsions against it definitely make my mood a whole lot worse, so I need to stop doing that.
j vvj vv
- Date posted
- 24w
I totally get it. I think assigning meaning to every thoughts is a big thing with OCD. I wasn’t very aware that I was doing it before therapy! Choosing not to engage with the thoughts or compulsions is super hard, so don’t beat yourself up. I’m still pretty new to therapy, but it seems to be a skill that takes time to develop! One thing I learned that helped is “may or may not”. Basically, “I may or may not be a bad person. In fact, it seems impossible to tell. Oh well! I’m not going to analyze this anymore.” “I may or may not be thinking something that is real. But it is definitely stressing me out, so I’m going to step away and not think about this for now.” I’ve been surprised how quickly these thoughts that freak me out disappear if I try to accept the uncertainty in the moment. Hopefully you are working with a therapist to navigate this! Feel better soon.
Related posts
BigGyro09
- Date posted
- 22w
Life kinda just sucks right now 18+ only
Never feels like I can fully put my mind to rest. The problem with OCD for me is once I'm over one worry there's another buried deep into my mind that I'm not fully over. The two events I'm not completely over is when I tried to help a 17 year old with POCD when I was 19 and the topics unfortunately were detailed and even then I explained to them I wasn't comfortable with talking to them. I guess I just had a hard time saying no to someone needing help but it eventually made me so uncomfortable that I stopped talking with them altogether at some point. Then the other thing is being so worried that I committed a crime because my elbow touched someone's behind when I didn't want that to happen at all. I didn't want to listen to my OCD by saying move my arm or something horrible is going to happen so I didn't and then something bad actually did happen. I thought it would just be a light touch while zipping a bag up but then it was worse than I ever wanted it to be and it was so awkward and I hated it. I feel like I just won't be able to get back to the way I was before OCD started all of this. Aside from that I've just had extreme health anxiety but am too afraid to reach out to a PCP even though I need to. Something deep down is telling me I should do this but I'm just so anxious and embarrassed about sharing things to them. I can't even enjoy the things I used to do because this is constantly just messing up my life. I'm hoping I get a start of positivity next time I see my therapist. This just sucks. Feels like others around me are doing so much better than I am and I'm just kind of stuck on these same problems and feeling absolute shame and guilt from the past over and over again. I'm just so sick of dealing with this every single day so I just use escape whenever I can. Even that doesn't really work. I just wish I could go back in time.
moon0270
- Date posted
- 21w
Makes me feel like a horrible person
That's what OCD feels like. Especially the constant questioning and doubt and the more you do it, the more you doubt yourself and it ends up leaving you open for other 'attacks'. I left the house today with my mom to run errands and things were fine, like my intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me that much in the beginning though they're constant in the background. Then when we stopped to get a drink from this store before leaving, I got more anxious because there were lots of kids around (it's afternoon here and i guess school was coming out). Kids were walking around in school uniform and I just told myself to keep looking away because i knew that my intrusive thoughts were going to flare up. Obviously that just made it worse and I just wanted to run away and crawl into a hole or something. Then a few minutes passed and then my brain said what if you were leering at the kids or looking at them inappropriately. And then my brain kept telling me that I wanted to or must have filmed one of them even though it's not something I want to do and know deep down that I didn't do it and don't want to. Ever. I just felt so disgusted with myself, I had to stop myself from crying on the way home. I hate this disease and I hate that its made its home in my head.
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Vee <3
- Date posted
- 16w
Heyyyy!
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
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