I want advice

@Hi_123 Looking for the post now

@Hi_123 I can’t find it? Is there a way to find all your posts? Could you maybe copy and paste it here? I want to help!!

@Hi_123 Don’t worry!!! This is a very common stuff for OCD. This is very solvable. If you apply ERP to this, you can move on with life!! Let’s define terms and also talk about what actions are needed for ERP. ——————————— 1.). It is important to have the right perspective on groinals and false arousals. Groinals and fake arousal are just like intrusive thoughts. They don’t mean anything. And you don’t have to fight them off or fix them. Your job is to just keep going about your day, despite the fact that they are there. For example, let’s say someone has an intrusive thought about throwing his coworker off the balcony. Let’s say he eats lunch on the balcony every day. This person needs to just allow those intrusive thoughts to flow through his head. He can’t try to stop them. He can’t try to hold the thoughts back. Instead, he needs to just let those intrusive thoughts run freely, even throw a party in his head. The thoughts can yell and scream at him all they want. The truth is that it doesn’t matter, because the thoughts don’t mean anything. The same principle applies with groinals, false arousal, and all bodily sensations related to OCD. They don’t matter. So you can just let them come and go however much they want. Don’t avoid any triggers. If you happen to see a kid or watch a movie and you experience bodily sensations, then so what? It doesn’t matter. Don’t try to fight them off. Just let them be there and do whatever they’re going to do—just like intrusive thoughts. ———————————- 2.). Intrusive thought burnout leads to the brain just “accepting the thoughts”. To answer your question, Yes!! The OCD can make you feel like you want the thoughts. This is common. This happens when your brain is mentally exhausted trying to fight the feelings off. If you fight something off in your brain long enough , eventually your brain will shut down and go numb and just accept the feelings. But this doesn’t matter. You actually don’t want the thoughts. The OCD just wants to make you feel like you do. It’s a little game that the OCD plays. ——————————————— 3.). OCD will always try to make you feel like a bad person The OCD will tell you that you are a bad person for all this. But remember, that is just OCD playing its games. We don’t have to listen. ——————————————— 4.). So what do we do about all this? We can stop playing OCD’S games! You can be one step ahead of the OCD! You are going to accept that the bodily sensations are there—and you just don’t care whether they are there or not (because it truly doesn’t matter if they are there or not). Then, when the OCD tries to make you feel like a bad person because the groinals or sensations are there, you just say, “Yep, I knew those were there. And I allowed them to be there. I don’t care because it doesn’t matter.” Then the OCD will try to make you feel bad again by saying, “Yeah, but you actually want the arousal. That makes you a bad person.” And then you can answer the OCD by saying, “Yep, the OCD makes me feel like I actually want the thoughts. But that IN ITSELF is just OCD.” (Because it’s just another way that the OCD is playing games with you. And you can start ignoring it, just like everything else.) ——————————————————- 5.). Get back to living life. This is important. The OCD wants you stuck and worried about thoughts, bodily sensations, and if you are a bad person or not. You can’t stop the OCD thoughts or feelings. But you CAN CHOOSE to keep living life (even if all this stuff is running in the background). —————————————— 6.) Last tips Ride the wave 🌊 . The OCD is going to make you feel like you are doing something wrong when you make dinner and go to a movie instead of analyzing your inner thoughts. But go make dinner and watch a movie anyway. Let the wave of anxiety pass over you when we break the OCD demands and start living our own lives. It’s not comfortable, but it will get easier. Don’t avoid triggers. If a trigger comes, then consider that it is just practice for you to do your ERP. Don’t let the OCD control your life by telling you that you must avoid triggers. This is hard, and it is easier said than done. So keep writing to get support!! It takes a loooonnnng time to conquer OCD, but just keep taking baby steps and getting support!!

@Hi_123 Yes!!! This is just OCD and not real!! Yes, OCD does this to you!! None of this means anything. You are not a bad person at all!!! When the OCD makes you feel like you want the arousal, that is just another OCD thought. It doesn’t mean anything!!! The OCD wants to make you think that if you wanted the thoughts/arousal, then you must be a terrible person. But it’s the OCD itself that is making you feel that way. And when something comes from OCD, it’s all meaningless. It means absolutely nothing. It can be very hard to do ERP, but it will get easier. And remember, you have to do THE ACTIONS OF ERP even when you don’t understand (and don’t feel safe, etc.). For example, my OCD says that I am going to go to hell if I say certain words or turn my wrist the wrong way or use a certain tone of voice. I have learned that I have to do all those things anyway, even though I really don’t feel totally safe and my brain still doesn’t understand. So for you, you have to keep practicing ERP even if it seems scary. Your brain will say, “Hey, you wanted those feelings.” And you get to say back: “This is just my OCD. It has no meaning at all. I am going on with my life.” It doesn’t matter if your brain says you were attracted to the child in the moment. That’s just OCD. It doesn’t matter if your brain says you want the arousal. That’s just OCD. None of it means anything. Let me going you an example. I used to feel like if I said certain bad words against God in my head, then I would be selling my soul to the devil in order to gain something in life that I wanted. And one day I was practicing piano with my daughter who was three-years-old at the time. She is very strong-willed, and she was getting frustrated, and I felt this feeling rising up in me like a temptation to say those words in my head in order for her to be successful at the piano. I love God! Why would I want to say those words in my head? But at last, in utter frustration , I just yelled those words in my head. And then I felt so horrible after that, like the worst person ever. And I felt like I was going to hell for two terrible weeks. (Until, though a great answer to prayer, through amazing circumstances , it became clear to that I had not lost my salvation at that point.) I didn’t know the nature of OCD back then. Do you see how OCD was playing me? The truth is that it didn’t matter if I said those words in my head or not!!!! But the OCD wanted to make me believe that it did matter in order to make me miserable. I have learned more in my journey since then. I have taken a long journey with God in this OCD recovery, and I have learned that those words and thoughts can be in my head all day if they want to. I can yell them in my head all I want, because it doesn’t matter. Because they are all meaningless. The same thing is true for POCD, HOCD, and all the other themes. In fact, they are all really the same. They just different manifestations of the same OCD. The groinals and fake arousals don’t mean anything. The thought that you actually wanted the arousal is just OCD and doesn’t mean anything. And this brings me back to the idea that we just need to keep practicing ERP, despite all the nasty tricks that the OCD wants to play on us. We have to go for a walk with the dog, go to a restaurants, do the dishes, etc. (And remember, we can’t avoid triggers!) We have to live life and let everything in our heads (and the bodily sensations) just do whatever they do in the background.

@Hi_123 Yes, do you see it below? And please write back if you have more questions!!!

@Tea and Honey Have faith in the process. Trust the process. Do exactly what therapist tells you to you (if they are a good one who teaches ERP). If you keep putting those principles into practice, you will overcome these struggles. :):):):)

@Hi_123 - This is all totally OCD. The washing is actually a compulsion, so you should try to never allow yourself to do it (even if it causes you anxiety). Compulsions are designed to help mitigate the anxiety we experience from the intrusive thoughts. Compulsions are "safety behaviors." But we have to deny the compulsions. Don't allow yourself to wash at any time after you see a child. It will make you anxious to not wash. But you have to do it. Otherwise, the compulsions just get bigger and bigger. This is where you have to ride the wave of anxiety until it eventually starts to subside. It's all hard, but just keep practicing!!! I am here! Let me know your thoughts. :):)

@Hi_123 I would love to talk on another place if I could!!! But I am really only using this one though. But you can message me anytime!!!! I would love to talk. Hmmmmm…. I just found out today that you don’t need the app in order to access the community page. You can get to it through your browser. Maybe that would be a way to delete the app but then get back in whenever you need to? Here’s the link to access the community through your browser. https://app.treatmyocd.com/community/posts I was so excited to find this out because now I can type out messages on the computer instead of the phone :):) Big hugs!!! 🤗 I am here whenever you need anything :):)

@Hi_123 Sorry, i just use this one, but thank you!!!!!! I don’t think you are getting reassurance at all. Maybe you could keep this app!!??

@Hi_123 Sure!!!

@Hi_123 - This is all OCD. All those thoughts, urges, or whatever get all twisted up in the OCD mind. And then you can't really control how your body acts in the instant. The answer is yes, the OCD gets so twisted and loud that stuff like that happens. But the important thing to pull back and look at the big picture. None of it is real. You had a baby on your lap, and nothing bad actually happened. All the thoughts inside your head--they don't matter at all. This is just all your OCD trying to play games with you and trying to make you feel bad about yourself. What would be really important here is to start ERP therapy. It will help you conquer these struggles. Have you heard of it or tried it?

@Hi_123 Yes!!!! I need to tell you a story about what happened to me, more than once actually. It is just like what happens with you. It is just that our brains get so swirling with thoughts and urges that sometimes we can’t control these involuntary movements. But it doesn’t matter, because it’s all OCD anyway. I have this fear of my middle finger being higher than the other fingers because I am worried that might mean I would be flipping off God and then I would be doomed to hell. One day, I was just so frustrated and overwhelmed and my thoughts and urges were swirling and these bodily sensations like I just wanted to raise up my middle finger. And I couldn’t stop myself, and I did—and then I felt immediately so guilty afterward. I felt like I was going to hell and such a horrible person. But actually, it didn’t matter at all. It was just OCD—which makes it meaningless. I didn’t know that at the time. I just felt horrible about myself. But now that I know that everything is okay, I don’t have such a high fear of lifting my middle finger. The right kind of therapy (ERP) could really help you. Your experiences are actually pretty common for OCD. You are not alone!! Your symptoms are common, and a GOOD therapist can help you sort through it all and start conquering it. I highly recommend NOCD. They take most insurance and they have all sessions on Zoom. They always do ERP. If you don’t feel like the terrorists is a good fit, they will immediately find you another one within OCD. They are very good about that. Here’s a link to book a free phone call with them. I’ll also give you NOCD’s email so you can email them, if that’s easier. They will help with any questions you have, so don’t worry about asking anything!!!!! They are so compassionate. https://home.treatmyocd.com/calendar care@nocdhelp.com What do you think?:):):) Big hugs!!! 🤗:):) You can conquer these things!!

@Hi_123 - I think it is just like my finger thing. A good therapist could help you too. Have you thought about one? :)