Deleted post.

This sounds very painful, I'm sorry. Many people here, myself included, can absolutely relate to that feeling of not being "good enough," or not being far enough along in life when it (seems like) everyone else is. I can also imagine how difficult it must be to feel like you aren't supported by your own family. Getting better requires the support from others, as well as support and effort from yourself. My first suggestion will always be to seek professional help if that's available to you, especially for OCD. Outside of that, when you feel like you're in a position where no one is on your side, you feel like a burden to everyone, and you simply don't know what to do, it's time to practice some radical acceptance. Radical acceptance is a tool from ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), as well as certain spiritual philosophies (in Buddhism, an equivalent concept is called "equanimity"). It's a practice in which you accept reality for what it is, with all of the struggles, pain, and difficulty. It's not about "giving up" and wallowing in the misery of it all, it's about letting go of the resistance that adds unnecessary suffering on top of reality. Similar to how the first step for any alcoholic is to admit they have a problem, the first step to changing your reality is to accept that it is the way it is. I would suggest looking into this concept. There are plenty of books on the subject, both spiritually-driven and more contemporary psychology-based. One of the simplest ways to start practicing it is to try responding to these difficult thoughts and situations with, "yes." Not "yes" as in you like or agree with the situation, but "yes" as in you acknowledge that it is the current reality in your life. No additional stories on top of it, no going down the rabbit hole of what it means about you, just a simple, "yes, this is a thing." This is not too unlike what is practiced in ERP therapy, where you turn towards the things that scare you, rather than away from them. When you feel like you're at a place where you can communicate without too much pent-up emotion, consider having a talk with your family about how you feel invalidated, while also acknowledging that you want to do what you can to get better. I wish you the best of luck! Happy to chat more if needed.