- Date posted
- 15w
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 15w
This sounds like what we call 'negative thinking styles', this one in particular likes to tangle with others (Personalizing, mind reading, control fallacies). It sounds like you are taking her behaviors as a reflection of you and your value, instead of understanding her behaviors are about what is going on in her life. If she is away at college, college can bring many transitions up and make things we normally do harder to do - depending on her experience at college. It is best to ask, "Hey, are we ok? I worry we are becoming distant and I value our friendship". We only know what people are thinking by asking them what they are thinking or feeling. Assuming your fears are her thoughts only make things harder on you as you begin to believe your fears are true in her head.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
You're going to have to learn to value yourself whether others do or not. That way when people do something wrong to you, it doesn't wreck you. Now are people being wrong to you or are they just have their own life issues? Either are possible. Most of the time I think people are just in their own world with their own problems. You can always ask people if you did something, but that can be a problem if it becomes obsessive. It's not healthy for you, and no one wants someone asking that all the time. Just from reading you post, my guess is you need to work on how you feel about your self most of all. It may be a good start to stop calling yourself an idiot š
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
Not everyone is gonna like us and it's okay :) We have to stop trying to control that aspect. If finding friends irl is hard, you can also try finding them online through your hobbies. If you're a gamer- try online gaming communities. If you're an artist, try art communities. But the harder you try to force finding friends, the more discouraged you become. Just have to be patient and let the friendships develop naturally, while still putting yourself out there. Best of luck <3
- Date posted
- 15w
If you want we can talk, I'm open to hear you out and be friends
- Date posted
- 15w
Communication goes a long way honestly. Communicate how you feel and hear the other person out for what's really happening on their end and not what you've assumed is happening. I also struggled with this but now I just talk, I really can't bottle it up ans with time it got better, I ended up not personalising everything anymore (I'm not saying that's what you're doing but it's definitely what I was doing) so yeah, I wish you all the best and you can do it, it gets easier with time and also watching videos on friendship helps for me and just seeing that the thoughts we have are not unique or anything wrong we just have them at a higher frequency and all
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 15w
I know I have had these same kinds of questions in the past..... What did I do? Why are they distant? Do they still want to be my friend? Have you ever noticed that no matter how much time you spend wondering....you can't really know for sure? I've learned to allow the uncomfortable uncertainty about all of this now. I do my best to be myself, be kind, and to be good friend. But, no matter how I behave, I can't really control how others respond to me. So, now I skip most of the wondering and try to move forward. Some of the people find their way back to me, some move on. I realize now I don't have control over others, just myself. It's possible they move on for reasons that have nothing to do with me. I can never be sure. So, I may wonder...but not for too long. I keep putting myself out there and some friends will stick and others don't. I'm ok with that now. Maybe you can be too?
- Date posted
- 14w
Iāll be youāre friend as well š
- Date posted
- 14w
I sooooooooo hear you. I have been thinking a lot lately about the fact that I can't really bond with people. I think it's all OCD related. I am always worried that my friendships are not stable and that they are going to disappear at the slightest mistake that I make. I never feel secure in my relationships.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Iām feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. Iām 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(weāre just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldnāt be able to return back at night, also itās either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldnāt let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like Iām stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know itās hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesnāt stop me from feeling like Iām a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So thatās it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress sheās carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk itās hard (also I feel like I shouldnāt be saying this cause itās all my fault) š«¤
- Date posted
- 20w
Told my close friend about how I think I have harm ocd and showed a video describing her experience with it so I wouldnāt have to share mine. Told him how when I see the number 22 I get paranoid that Iāll harm someone, and he gave me advice to go to a psychiatrist then left me on read after we were having a conversation prior. Iām so scared to open up to people about it and now I donāt think I will again.
- Date posted
- 11w
Can anybody relate? I get so anxious to text people and reply, especially friends. I overthink everything I say wondering if they will think itās funny or if itās the right reply and when I send it I keep thinking that I said something evil or unfunny so I keep rechecking the text to make sure itās ok. Itās so frustrating because all I want to do is talk to my friends but I get so anxious about texting them thinking something evil will happen so I just barely text themš if anyone has any advice to help with this please let me know š
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