ROCD

It triggers me when people say “my partner is the most attractive person in the world” because I don’t know if I could say that myself. I seem to hyper fixate over physical appearance. I get the “ugly” thought about my partner sometimes and feel terrible guilt and the urge to confess. This freaks me out I love my partner so much. Any advice to help with the guilt/confessing? I’ve been told the thought is not the problem, it’s the fact that OCD is latched onto it! Therefore I guess it’s also the OCD that makes me feel like my partner deserves better?

curefan6

Date posted: 5w ago

don’t confess no matter how hard it feels! that’s how you help yourself over time. i’ve had to do the same thing and it really sucks but it’s worth it. think about it this way, will telling your partner about this make them feel better or will it only make YOU feel better? often times i found that i only confessed for myself. my boyfriend doesn’t need to hear about all of the intrusive thoughts i have and as he’s someone who doesn’t have ocd i think they’d just make him upset. so it feels unfair to confess just so i can make myself feel better. hope that makes sense. you got this!

Mk3

Date posted: 5w ago

@curefan6 Thank you so much!! It is so hard whenever I feel like he deserves better than someone who has mean thoughts, but they’re just thoughts and I need to move on!!

curefan6

Date posted: 5w ago

@Km3 i understand! if anything, these thoughts prove that you really really care about him. seems so backwards and strange but that’s just what ocd does unfortunately 😭

Mk3

Date posted: 5w ago

@curefan6 And the first phrase I posted about triggers me so badly

curefan6

Date posted: 5w ago

@Km3 i feel the same way quite often. and i feel evil for constantly analyzing my bf and wondering if i truly find him attractive. i know that i do, but my mind hates that i can’t absolutely prove it for sure

Mk3

Date posted: 5w ago

@curefan6 Yes. I feel like we think our bfs are attractive but attraction ebbs and flows. Like sometimes I think he looks ugly? So what! But it’s hard to accept this if that makes sense?

curefan6

Date posted: 5w ago

@Km3 yes i definitely get what you’re saying

Mk3

Date posted: 5w ago

@curefan6 I’m glad someone understands!! Haha thank you:)

vincenzokeez

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 5w ago

OCD IS THE WORST. And sometimes you just gotta say opposite even if you feel you 100% know. Just the way it is and live with the discomfort

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 5w ago

Hi there, I can tell from your post that you seem to really care about your partner and want the best for them. Since the confession could hurt your partner and may not serve any purpose besides feeding your OCD, I'd really encourage you not to engage in the ritual confessing! We all have our attractive moments and less attractive moments, like right after we wake up. Have you learned much about response prevention, meaning strategies for not engaging in your compulsions? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riKw294RZMw&t=63s

sgray4

Date posted: 25w ago

Relationship doubts

I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.

Relationship OCD

Uypvqcm5

Date posted: 12w ago

ROCD

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

truespartan48

Date posted: 5w ago

Struggling with potential ROCD

Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!

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