Compulsions NEVER Help

After almost 2 decades of struggling with Pure OCD that was all-consuming, all day, every day, I'm finally in a spot where I can effectively manage this disorder. A big way I did this was realizing that compulsions NEVER help and they are NEVER the answer. It might feel like it's helping in the moment, but you're just giving power to the OCD and it WILL come back stronger. Sometimes (especially with Pure O), it can be hard to even tell if you're doing a compulsion. If you're not sure and think there is even a possibility that it could be, try to stop doing that immediately. The better you get at noticing your compulsions and stopping them quickly the better off you'll be in the long-term. It's definitely a tough and bumpy road, but if I was able to get there I'm sure anyone can. Just stick with it and it gets way easier.

garlicgorl13

Date posted: 24w

this gives me a lot of hope. i have struggled with ocd in the past in a big way, it's coming knocking at my door again recently and when i realized that i was ruminating i felt so hopeless. I start therapy in April. I'm nervous but also very hopeful

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

It will always come knocking but the knocks will get softer and less frequent. However loud and frequent the knocks are, just don't answer that door and invite it in. Treat it like one of those annoying solar panel salesmen and just don't answer the door. They'll eventually give up and go away. 🤣

Kalidescope

Date posted: 24w

Thanks for the encouraging post! I like the part where you say this re: compulsions... "If you're not sure and think there is even a possibility that it could be, try to stop doing that immediately" This can help you not fall into the land of evaluating if it is or not... I heard once Freedom feels like Freedom...I like that too. Less figuring things out more trusting if you think it's a compulsion it is...if you think it's Freedom it is...

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

Thanks! And yeah, OCD is so tricky that you can be doing compulsions and not even realize it. That was a big problem of mine. I was doing things that I didn't even realize were compulsions and once I stopped things have been way better.

garlicgorl13

Date posted: 24w

I'm really happy to hear you're doing better! This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to stop but I know it's possible thanks to the community here

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

@garlicgorl13 You'll get there! Took me about 20 years to manage it better and I still have a "bad day" here and there. As you learn more about what your specific compulsions are, you'll better be able to notice them and stop doing them. From there, just keep that up and you'll feel way better. And hey, if there is a day when you don't feel so good, that's fine too. You can't feel good all the time, but you don't need to let it consume you either. Just tell yourself, "okay. I'm aware I'm not feeling so great today and I'm okay with that." The more you do that, the easier it gets and will come way less.

Crook

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

How were you able to stop the mental compulsions? Mine start as soon as I open my opens and don’t stop until I’m asleep.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 24w

I still catch myself ruminating sometimes, but it's way less frequent. The unpleasant thoughts still come in (they always will), but I treat them like any other thought. I don't try to disprove them, analyze them, check on the to see if they're still there, etc. It weakens the power the OCD has on you and it will come way less. The unpleasant thoughts and feelings will always come sometimes, but when they do you just need to treat it like any other thought an not put more importance or significance on it. Everyone has "bad" thoughts and feelings, but us with OCD think they're real and a threat. They are not. A few things to remember (try not to reassure yourself with them, but they are simply facts). 1) Thoughts and feelings are not threats. You don't control what you think and feel. 2) If I do compulsions, I will feel worse. Even once. Compulsions are NEVER the solution. You'll get better at recognizing and stopping your compulsions as you go on. It might take a while. Took me almost 20 years, but I also didn't get help with ERP until just a few months ago. So the sooner you work on it, the sooner you'll feel better. And hey, maybe you'll have a "bad day" here and there. That's okay too and you need to be okay with that also. You can't feel good all the time. Once you learn to accept that and you don't put so much weight on what you're thinking or how you feel it won't bother you as much. If you're having a particularly bad day, bad thought, or bad feeling, just try to tell yourself "okay... I'm aware I'm not feeling that great today, but that's okay." Then don't try to feel better, or check how you're feeling, or worry about the next time you'll feel that way. Just accept it and sit with it and it will come less and less over time. Don't get me wrong, it will totally suck for a while, but once you get better at it you'll be way better off in the long-term. Deal with the unpleasantness now and don't give up. It's worth it in the end.

Wed_Wheel

Date posted: 24w

My SO OCD

I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?

Sexual Orientation OCD

rhyanmich

Date posted: 23w

My compulsions don’t bring me relief

Does anyone else find that their compulsions actually make their OCD/obsession worse? I don’t mean in the obvious way, like that it strengthens the OCD cycle, I mean in the way that when I perform my compulsions, they make my anxiety so much worse in the moment. My main compulsions are ruminating, arguing with my thoughts, and memory reviewing, but they all just end up giving me more intrusive thoughts/questions, making my anxiety more intense, and making me think my intrusive thoughts are real. I’ve always read that you perform compulsions because they bring you relief, and I suppose for me, they more make me feel like I’m working towards “solving the issue” or “answering my question”, so then is that my version of “relief”? In reality, it just makes my anxiety worse because the more I ruminate/memory review, the more jumbled together and foggy my thoughts/memories become, which in turn makes me think that if I ruminate/memory review just a little more, I’ll be able to “push through that fog” and find my answer, which then also causes me anxiety because my brain feels foggy and hence makes completing my compulsions/figuring out my obsession impossible (which I guess is good because I’m not supposed to complete my compulsions). All of this is making me believe that I don’t have OCD and that my intrusive thoughts are true and that’s why I can’t shake them and that’s why I feel the need to figure them out and why I feel so foggy… Or is this just meta OCD playing it’s devious tricks on me? Has anyone else experienced this or is this not OCD and I should be concerned that my obsession is true?

Joe87

Date posted: 6w

Why can't OCD just be stopped??

It has to be the most frustrating thing in the world. My OCD is mainly about doing physical compulsions in order to make sure that nothing bad happens to myself or my loved ones The really annoying thing is that by doing these compusions a bad thing is already happening because it absolutely dominates my life and stops me from living properly I've tried ERP and it didn't help

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Compulsions NEVER Help

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