Is this controlling ?

Hi guys me and my partner have been together for 4 years, he used to suffer bad with rocd however has now made a good recovery with minimal struggle. Back story my ex and his ex used to be controlling with each other to the max When me and my boyfriend got to together I did think he was controlling however 4 years later he’s now not however he’s been recently asking me to remove all men I don’t know that follow me on insta unsure if this is controlling? I have 2.5k followers post a photo about twice a year and when I do it’s either of me and him , selfie or our dog. It feels wrong he’s asking me to remove all men I told him that and he said to just remove all good looking men instead if I don’t want to loose lots of followers advice please

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 5d ago

Hello! I appreciate you being here. While I can't speak to the specific relationship dynamics between you and your partner, I can offer some resources for you to explore if you believe your partner struggles with ROCD. The bottom link lists resources for support groups so you can seek support for yourself. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/relationship-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-can-i-help-my-partner-with-their-ocd?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NOCD_PM_US&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqIm_BhDnARIsAKBYcmsJvQ6rbHI8j4x1y9XwML3DwrB3v22fxdSS5hs6CpuQZU_uX0s2fr4aAsO1EALw_wcB

daisy1728383

Date posted: 11d ago

I have unfollowed a lot of men my feed is quotes and girls however he’s uncomfortable with men following me he’s fine with men I have been school with following me

Samuel1

Date posted: 11d ago

Hmmm it sounds like he might be having an OCD flare up. Usually I would say he sounds like a controlling boyfriend, but since he has struggled with ROCD in the past, I would say this is his OCD talking. Attempting to take control can be a compulsion. It's possible that maybe he's been having intrusive thoughts to do with other guys and you. If thats the case, the thoughts are probably disturbing him, and his way of stopping those thoughts, is to get you to remove your male followers. I recommend you dont do this. Doing so would be feeding into his compulsion, and reinforce this kind of behaviour in the future. You should have a talk with him and see if he will open up to you about whether its OCD related or not. Be kind with him, but also be firm and hold your ground that you will not be feeding his compulsion

daisy1728383

Date posted: 11d ago

@Samuel1 I know he will reply back saying it’s not his ocd , as he’s really clued up on it he would just say it’s a respect things

King silly

Date posted: 23w ago

Is this ocd?

I’m not saying any of this to be rude or hateful in any way!! Basically, I like this guy and I really love him, but, everytime I look at this one photo of him, I keep noticing he looks unflattering and it makes me worry, because I’m scared what if he’s ugly? And why does that even matter? Why can’t I just love him in peace without having to check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly? Like that sounds really rude and disrespectful and it hurts even more to know that he’s self conscious and I would NEVER want to hurt him so I don’t tell him I check his photo to make sure he’s not ugly, I get anxious when I notice/feel that he is unattractive/unflattering, so I check till I feel certain that I don’t think he’s ugly, why do I even do this? Why does it matter? Why does my brain make it difficult to even look at a photo without worrying, can I be normal? I say “I think he’s cute/I love him” to his photo and my brain is like “nope cuz he’s unattractive” then I get worried and for what??? I ask myself why do I care and I genuinely don’t know

Relationship OCD

cherryred14

Date posted: 17w ago

ROCD damaging my relationship

Right now, i’m waiting for a response from my partner. Yesterday, we got into a serious conversation about the repeated cycle of reassurance seeking and extreme anxiety. he’s been so incredibly patient but I think he’s hit a crosswords in that if I don’t make serious, healthier changes, he does not see the relationship continuing in a healthy or meaningful way anymore. This morning, I told him I wanted to give him space and to respond once he felt comfortable. I attended a support group today but I am consumed with spiraling, obsessive thoughts due to his lack of response now that it’s 5pm and I sent that text at 8am. I dont want to overwhelm him but i just dont know how to sit with the uncertainty. I feel like his lack of response and communication today means he wants to break up. I feel sick and cannot eat. I dont know what to do- any suggestions or thoughts?

Elliesmith

Date posted: 7w ago

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

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