Intrusive thoughts while self pleasuring

Last night I was self pleasuring. I didn’t set out to think about anything weird but as I was doing it some pocd thoughts were in my brain. I did not get off to them, but I could have. Idk why that is but it is. Idk what to do and idk why I am this way. Is there some science about the brain while aroused or is it possible that the more gross or taboo something is I can like it?? Idk, just want to know if anyone can relate.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

The thoughts can pop up at any time regardless of what you're doing. Since you have POCD, the OCD probably saw it as a good opportunity to jump in. Remember, it's not the thoughts that's the problem. Everyone has weird thoughts from time to time. It's how you react (or don't react) to the thoughts that is the goal. Just let them come and treat it like any other thoughts without overthinking it. The better you get at doing that, the less they'll come.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

@Dan Frijoles I get that part but what shakes me is the fact I could have gotten off to them, how does that make me an okay person?

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymousssssss If they disgust you that's not what was doing it. It's just OCD trying to trick you. The fact that it bothered you means you didn't like it. However, don't take that as reassurance. Live with the fact that maybe you did like it and don't try to disprove that. A thought is just a thought. You can't help what you think and you didn't actually harm anyone.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

@Dan Frijoles I totally understand that. After the fact it disgusts me that I could have gotten off but if that’s the case then in the moment I wasn’t disgusted. I definitely questioned when I had the thought like wtf why is my brain like this though. Hopefully it doesn’t sound like I’m reassurance seeking, I’ve dealt with this for a while and I just wanna understand the thought process and brain more.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymousssssss OCD can make you think you like the thought. If you are afraid of the possibility that you even liked it, then it's probably OCD. The fact that you're trying to make sure you didn't like it is the compulsion. You're obsessing over "liking" the thought and trying to prove to yourself that you didn't. Unfortunately, no matter what you tell your OCD to try to understand and rationalize it, it won't be a good enough answer. Ever. The only solution is to stop trying to figure it out and convince yourself of anything.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

@Dan Frijoles I know I don’t like the thought. This even happened last night and when I think of it now I’m grossed out and don’t see how I could like it. But in the moment while I was pleasuring, I DID like it. I’m not really trying to prove anything to myself or decipher anything, I know in the moment I could have gotten off but at the same Ik that’s not me.

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymousssssss You were probably just feeling pleasure in general and the thought popped in and you associated it with the feeling. Stuff like that happens all the time with OCD.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

@Dan Frijoles It became more pleasurable when those thoughts were in my head tho :(

Dan Frijoles

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

@Anonymousssssss Like I said. OCD is tricky. You wouldn't be worried about it so much if it wasn't OCD.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 21w

@Dan Frijoles I’ll keep thinking about everything you said, I really really am grateful for you and your help <3

VoiceInYourHead

Date posted: 24w

Intrusive Thoughts During “Me-Time”

So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 20w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 18w

I’m freaking out please help

I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.

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Intrusive thoughts while self pleasuring

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