Working

( First I appologize this is so long I feel really bad) I work at a daycare and I am new to my job. so am terrified of being mean or disciplining a kid or if someone snaps at me or is mean to me I can’t snap back or else in my mind I am a terrible person and I will not be able to forgive myself for the longest time. I am constantly asking people if I was accidentally mean without me realizing it. A long time ago I was manipulating and emotionally abused and other abuse happened to me and J struggled well before the abuse as well. The abuse made it worse, now I feel a lot of shame for feeling my emotions. I am a happy person with a lot of anxiety and depression if you met me J am super patient. At my job it was my first time running a room with 6 kids under 24 months. I LOVEDDD it sooo much! However kids started to bite each other and a couple of them were crying and there was one that kicked me I told them they couldn’t bite or kick which was super hard for me going again my thoughts but it was to protect them and even that is so hard on me! I can’t disapline a child without feeling unbelievable shame and guilt. From there they told me since the biting happened I will no longer be able to run my own room and I was very discouraged about myself and it spiraled into I am not a strong enough person and I am a bad person or I am going to turn into anbad person if I displine and I began hyperventilating and almost passed out. I know disaplining doesn’t mean being mean but my mind says I am an awful person if I do or if I don’t do something perfect at my job then it says I am terrible. I am worried I will be fired and this is my first real job. I have been beating myself up over it a lot. However I feel like I can’t change it without unbelievable anxiety coming with it. I love kids but I want to do what’s best it is so hard with anxiety thoughts I am not for sure what to do thank you!! I was wondering if anyone happen to have advice? I spiraled into I got the wrong job and I shouldn’t be working with kids even though I love it and one of my favorite things in the world! Thank you! 😊 Ehat do I do in this situation? Then I got into trouble for not being an adult and had very bad anxiety about that what all do I do? Thank you!!

(I work at a bank, this is my first full time job. I am in the teller drive through and this is my second week, I am also the youngest and least experienced employee of this branch.) We were extremely busy, there’s only me and one more employee in the drive thru. There’s 3 cars in each line waiting, and I’m overwhelmed and sweating. Spot 4 sends up the tube, and rings for assistance. I speak into the mic to her spot, “I’ll be right with you!”. She begins to demand something but i turn off the speaker because I told her i’d be with her soon and I don’t have time rn. I jokingly say to myself “Girl i said i’d be right with you”. My coworker (who has previously called customers b**ches behind their back) says “that isn’t how we speak about customers, we just remind them again that we will be with them in a minute”. i say “sorry” and speak to Spot 4, “I’m so sorry ma’am there’s a couple ppl ahead of you, I’ll be right with you”, she starts screaming and cussing me out, saying “IF YOUD LISTEN TO ME YOU ****” etc etc “I NEED TO DEPOSIT THIS NOW” i say “okay ma’am”. i’m bad at confrontation, im sweating and on the verge of tears. i finish my transaction and her tube comes back with a 7” stack of u organized and mutilated bills and 3 different deposit slips. I panic, i’m new, the amount is over my drawer limit. i say “i’m not comfortable doing this lady’s transaction, i don’t feel ready, can i watch you do it?” my coworker says “no you can do it”. it’s already 30 min past my shift ending, i haven’t balanced my drawer, i closed last night and opened this morning, im running on 3 hrs of sleep, and i haven’t eaten in 2 days. Spot 4 is ringing again to demand me to hurry up. i start tearing up and looking around for help, i finally grab someone’s attention, and they help me thru the transaction, but it was obvious they were annoyed. i can’t stop rethinking this and thinking i made it all up and im just an idiot. what did i do wrong???? ive been having a panic attack for 2 hours since my shift ended, im in hysterics, it feels like im doing compulsions extra due to the stress

I've been having a really tough time lately with a recent workplace interaction that occurrd today, and my mind just keeps replaying the events over and over. It feels like an endless loop, and I'm finding it incredibly hard to let go. I'm trying to figure out if this intense replaying is more about my OCD, or if it's a typical reaction to a stressful situation that's being amplified by my OCD tendencies. The specific details of the incident involve a colleague engaging in a racially insensitive discussion that I tried to disengage from. Despite my attempts to steer the conversation away and remove myself, the situation escalated with direct confrontation and accusations. This led to significant emotional distress for me. Later in the day, the same colleague misunderstood another conversation, making baseless accusations and publicly confronting me in a very aggressive way. I kept quiet throughout, just a bit of muttering. The emotional toll of these interactions has been immense. Now, my mind is stuck. I can't seem to stop dwelling on every word, every gesture, and every imagined alternative outcome. Hoping I'm not viewed as the "angry black woman" which is such an affair narrative why can't I state grievances of racism, without this narrative. * how do you manage the relentless replaying of stressful workplace interactions? What are your go-to coping mechanisms when your mind gets "stuck" on these loops? * Have you found any specific strategies helpful for navigating interpersonal conflicts at work when your OCD makes it difficult to process and move past them? * When you're feeling emotionally vulnerable due to work stress, what helps you prevent these situations from turning into prolonged rumination cycles? Any advice or shared experiences would be incredibly helpful. I'll be so grateful for any assistance. I just feel like I'm not good at life.