Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

How to “sit with uncertainty” HELP

I hit the SOS, and I’m just scared. If I sit with the uncertainty, then I could honestly sit here all day crying. I just can’t accept I’m not a bad person and ruined my relationship, no matter how much grace I give myself. What makes me feel better is knowing that I’m not a bad person, and trying to rationalize my mistakes - understanding everyone makes them. But then it feels like i can’t validate my good feelings because it’s “bad” and I should just accept I COULD be a bad person. It honestly sends me into a full panic. Please help!!!!!!

Wallace11

Date posted: 25w

Do your best to sit with the emotions and just say maybe maybe not. Crying during ERP and uncertainty isn’t failure. It’s hard as hell.

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@Wallace11 I’m trying, I feel a bit better now but I think I’ll need to bring this up in therapy. It’s like if I say maybe maybe not - I’m acknowledging a certainty that I may be a bad person. When I’m just trying to make myself feel better like any normal person would, and know that I’m not a bad person. I don’t even know if that makes sense.

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@Mher545 It just feels like because we have OCD, we can’t validate any of our feelings - it has to be maybe or maybe not. No, I want it to be not - because I don’t know for sure

Wallace11

Date posted: 25w

@Mher545 It makes sense. But that back and forth argument your having is just adding fuel to the fire. I don’t know you, but if you were a bad person, you wouldn’t care that you’re a bad person. You can also absolutely validate your feelings. You’re allowed to feel sad, angry, irritated, etc. You always have agency in your decisions. A happy secondary affect is over time you’ll find that not only it wasn’t a question that needed answered but a question that was never needed to be asked to begin with. You got this.

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@Wallace11 Thank you Wallace, this is very helpful

r.m.1

Date posted: 25w

You’re allowed to believe you’re a good person. The goal of sitting with the uncertainty is not to convince yourself you are “likely” a bad person…no…. The point is to accept that the thought exists, may or may not be true, and accept that the thought makes you feel a certain way. After I do ERP, sometimes I tell myself what I truly believe (only once) and then I go about my day. Kind of like a reminder to the OCD because fighting it is so hard. I’m trying to ease out of this minor reassurance though as it’s been getting a bit easier. Change behavior changes emotions and thought patterns. Remember that and it should help you fight compulsions. OCD keeps you stuck in compulsions and arguing with its lies. Actually living life and doing the things you value regardless of what your intrusive thoughts are PROVES to the OCD what you truly believe about yourself and who you actually are and the thoughts grow quieter and quieter. Many times initially, you just do it all super anxious because the key is behaviors. Using “I fear” or “I may or may not” statements can be helpful too to avoid negative self talk as it’s already a very emotionally vulnerable place to be in

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@r.m.1 I apologize for my late response. This is such a good way to put it, thank you so much for taking the time to write this

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@r.m.1 I don’t know anything about your situation, but do you feel like you’ve been able to rewire your brain having ocd?

r.m.1

Date posted: 25w

@Mher545 To an extent yes but I’m still recovering and have a lot more work to do

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@r.m.1 I think it’s definitely not linear and constant work. Thank you for everything

Mher545

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

@r.m.1 R.m I just wanted to let you know that this significantly helped me get through a learning curve with ocd - I was truly not understanding and you really made it easier to understand for me and It’s been helping me with my progress - thank you 🙏🏼

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Any tips for leaning in to uncertainty

I need tips on how to really accept the uncertainty the ocd causes, even if it feels so bad like I might get in trouble for something , do I wanna be okay with that?

Julian2006

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 20w

A little reminder!

I hope everyone is holding up okay! I’ve been seeing a lot of scared posts and whatnot lately, so I just wanted to make this post to remind ourselves to practice our uncertainty! I want to share a few response prevention lines that help me calm down! My thoughts do not define who I am. Maybe I’m a bad person, maybe I’m not, but I have a lot of things I need to do now. I’m going to practice not knowing for sure. I don’t have to solve this problem. I am choosing to sit with this uncomfortableness!

Lovemycats02

Date posted: 18w

About reassurance?

I’ve heard it’s not good to seek reassurance or give it because it lowers your tolerance to uncertainty. But how do I avoid seeking reassurance when my thoughts and doubts are so bad, I genuinely just don’t know anymore if I’m a bad person or if it’s just OCD? I know I’m supposed to sit with the uncertainty, but how can I do that when the uncertainty has me unable to trust my own brain? Especially when the OCD is real event and POCD? How can I not seek reassurance when I feel so alone and so abnormal and just don’t wanna feel that way anymore? In turn, I see so many people on here struggling so bad and my heart breaks for them. How can I give advice to towers without giving them reassurance and hurting them in the long run?

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