SOCD false attraction

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

Ali$t@ir2021

Date posted: 2d ago

OCD IS A TROLL GOBLIN! It has a bass drum strapped to it’s chest and it chain smokes and just screams nonsense in your head. I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. It’s like this… Me: My husband is the cutest I really love him. OCD: no, you love your former friend you haven’t seen in 2 years and only remembered because I told you. That’s all there is to it. Me: But I don’t, I really just want to be with my husband and love him and live my life. OCD: (long drag on unfiltered) I didn’t stutter. You don’t feel that way anymore. You don’t want those things anymore. You want what I say now. (Diabolical laughter) I hate it. I hate it all. I’m in hell because I know who I am, what I want, what I’ve always wanted but OCD doesn’t give a shit.

Justmesadly

Date posted: 2d ago

I totally relate to this exact situation. Like ali$s@ir2021 says, I love my boyfriend so much and I want to marry him so bad. And I look at him and I’m like he’s so hot and my brain is like nope no you’re in love with your best friend

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d ago

@Justmesadly my problem is i can accept these thought because i know they’re not me, what gets me is the false attractions that come along with it, and the feelings or disgust

Justmesadly

Date posted: 2d ago

@Anonymous Well that’s good you’re one step closer to recovery then! I don’t really have false attractions

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d ago

@Justmesadly i hope you’re doing good anyways, thankyou for helping

Random2274738

Date posted: 2d ago

@Justmesadly This is also happening to me and I got so worried and obsessive over it. It is now coming into my sex life.

No matric ce...

Date posted: 2d ago

I don't have so-ocd ,but I will say you will never get 100% certainty you are not gay ,because ocd is the doubting disorder and the doubting disorder will always Doubt it and say but what If ,are sure you not gay etc that's why we accept uncertainty, maybe I gay ,maybe I not gay ,if x happens and you are gay you have to be okay and move on with your life, easier said then done ,if you are seeing a ERP therapist he or she will help you with this

King silly

Date posted: 16w ago

Bad again

Pocd feels real again and I can’t tell if I’m actually attracted or not. can’t believe it got this bad again. I used to be able to go “no I don’t like that, go away” and now it feels like I do like it and want it, and it’s starting to linger longer so it feels more real. I’m avoiding checking but I’m so scared that what if it’s true. Is it because I have not been doing my exposures? I’m not sure, but every time a 14 year old person comes to my head, I keep hearing something go “they’re attractive” and it sounds like me so I panic, and it makes me even more scared because I’m not feeling bad about it??? I saw some kid at Walmart that had long black hair and my brain kept saying shit and no matter how much I say I don’t feel that way, it won’t shut up, i want to check 1000 times to make sure. But I know it’s not worth it. I’m trying so hard

POCD

allyocd

Date posted: 13w ago

Idk if I can do this anymore

It feels like I’m lying to myself constantly and everyone. There feels like there is a weight on my heart from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. I don’t want to be gay. Idk why it doesn’t register. Now everyone I see I have to see if I’m attracted to them. I see good looking men and I feel like I’m lying to myself that they are good looking, I see women and I see if im attracted to them. I look at everyone and I feel jealous. I want my fucking life back. But now my OCD (if this is even OCD) is telling me I was never happy and I was always suppressing my feelings of being gay. Why is this happening? Can OCD do this? I can’t enjoy anything ever.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Mt2019

Date posted: 6w ago

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

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SOCD false attraction

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