- Date posted
- 23w
normal
what do normal people even think about? i feel like all i do is worry and fight with myself, for months on end now, i forgot what it feels like to think like a normal person
what do normal people even think about? i feel like all i do is worry and fight with myself, for months on end now, i forgot what it feels like to think like a normal person
I wasn’t aware how much weight I was carrying with OCD until starting therapy. I knew it was rough and debilitating…but when I started tackling thought patterns and compulsions it was like a car was lifted off my shoulders. It’s possible to feel more normal with therapy and ERP, I would highly recommend it!
I don’t really know what’s “normal” in terms of thought patterns or internal mental matters. People without OCD may not struggle with intrusive thoughts, but they could also have their own struggles. Are you working with a therapist right now, who can help you sort through these feelings?
I totally hear what you're saying, but I'd like to challenge that sentiment by asking: what even is normal? Sure, folks with OCD get stuck on hamster wheels of deep unhappiness and obsessiveness that other people don't... but that doesn't mean other people aren't worrying about all sorts of shit, too. Everyone is suffering in their own way, so just try to remind yourself that even because you are different -- WE are different -- than the average person without OCD, that doesn't make us any less normal. Suffering is part of the human condition, OCD is just our unique, specific brand of suffering.
Good question
It sounds incredibly exhausting to feel like you're constantly battling worry and have lost touch with what "normal" thinking feels like. That sense of being consumed by worry is something many people struggle with, and it can feel very isolating. What I can say is that "normal" people have all kinds of thoughts, including intrusive ones as well. The main difference is the ability to move on from the thought, rather than getting stuck on it. We are here to help at NOCD if you are able to reach out!
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal
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