- Date posted
- 24w
normal
what do normal people even think about? i feel like all i do is worry and fight with myself, for months on end now, i forgot what it feels like to think like a normal person
what do normal people even think about? i feel like all i do is worry and fight with myself, for months on end now, i forgot what it feels like to think like a normal person
I wasn’t aware how much weight I was carrying with OCD until starting therapy. I knew it was rough and debilitating…but when I started tackling thought patterns and compulsions it was like a car was lifted off my shoulders. It’s possible to feel more normal with therapy and ERP, I would highly recommend it!
I don’t really know what’s “normal” in terms of thought patterns or internal mental matters. People without OCD may not struggle with intrusive thoughts, but they could also have their own struggles. Are you working with a therapist right now, who can help you sort through these feelings?
I totally hear what you're saying, but I'd like to challenge that sentiment by asking: what even is normal? Sure, folks with OCD get stuck on hamster wheels of deep unhappiness and obsessiveness that other people don't... but that doesn't mean other people aren't worrying about all sorts of shit, too. Everyone is suffering in their own way, so just try to remind yourself that even because you are different -- WE are different -- than the average person without OCD, that doesn't make us any less normal. Suffering is part of the human condition, OCD is just our unique, specific brand of suffering.
Good question
It sounds incredibly exhausting to feel like you're constantly battling worry and have lost touch with what "normal" thinking feels like. That sense of being consumed by worry is something many people struggle with, and it can feel very isolating. What I can say is that "normal" people have all kinds of thoughts, including intrusive ones as well. The main difference is the ability to move on from the thought, rather than getting stuck on it. We are here to help at NOCD if you are able to reach out!
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal
i’ve just been feeling so off lately. i’m okay right now, but a couple hours ago i was in this mood where i felt anxiety creeping up. like i will feel like there’s danger when there isn’t. i just get this really uncomfortable feeling that something feels wrong even when it isn’t. and i’ve been feeling derealization/depersonalization. just really disconnected from myself and the world. i’ve also been unmotivated to where there are times when the thought of doing things upsets me. and i’ve been having existential thoughts that do not mesh well with harm ocd. i get the thought “if people aren’t real then it’s okay to hurt them”. it sucks because there are times where i just don’t even care to ruminate and find reassurance that that’s not the case. furthermore, i’ve just been really aware of my existence. i will get moments where i’m so aware of my existence and it freaks me out. like the fact that i’m a living human being is crazy to me. then there are times when i’m not even anxious about anything which then has me questioning and ruminating on that because i ALWAYS have something i’m worrying about. i’ve also been feeling really nostalgic and bittersweet of the good memories from the past. i keep thinking about good times i’ve had and really wishing i could relive it. for example, last summer was a pretty good summer even with my ocd. and i just wish i could relive some of those moments, but i obviously can’t. and it’s been upsetting me because this month has been shitty with my anxiety. as for an update with my room change to those of you curious, i still have anxiety over it and my mom is taking it as me being ungrateful with what i have when it’s my ocd making a huge deal of it. that upsets me especially since i’ve told her what’s been going on and she was really understanding of it. anyways, life has just been a bit much and i’ve been dealing with more to my anxiety that i don’t appreciate. while worrying about constantly throwing up with my contamination ocd is incredibly exhausting, it’s so normal to me that i’m used to it. but when my harm ocd kicks in along with other themes that aren’t usually common for me, i freak out and feel like i’m going insane. i genuinely wonder how people have dealt with taboo topics of ocd without treatment for years on end. i’ve had harm intrusive thoughts since i was little, but it didn’t get to any extreme until 2023. i feel like i’m drowning in it when it decides to hit me and the thought of having to deal with it for the rest of my life?? i’m scared something in me will flip and i’ll become what my thoughts are telling me i am. i apologize for the mixed thoughts that are all over the place but i feel safe posting on here about it and want to hear how y’all are doing
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