- Date posted
- 13w
- Date posted
- 13w
Those are just thoughts, everyone has ugly moments is what I remind myself lol
- Date posted
- 13w
I feel the same way sometimes, one time my boyfriend and i went out for breakfast and he didn’t do his hair and i was freaking out over it thinking about how much of a terrible girlfriend i was because i thought he looked ugly and that everyone else thought he looked ugly and was judging us. I still beat myself up about it. Give yourself some grace, we’re all doing our best ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
Say “ maybe he is ugly right now, maybe I’m ugly too, we can be ugly together, and that’s beautiful “ or just say “ he might be ugly? Hmm, that’s an idea, not important enough to investigate tho, what else should I be doing instead?” It’s all be accepting THE THOUGHT, but not the CONTENT of it. Just accept you had that thought, a move forward. Having a thought doesn’t mean you believe it. If so, I think I might be my ideal weight and a millionaire…… damn… didn’t work. Thinking something doesn’t mean anything. Don’t feed those silly brain spam emails. No Nigerian prince has 1 million dollars that they need you to secure for them, delete and move on. Thoughts are not threats and feelings are not facts.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 Probably does lol in fact I’d guarantee it. Difference it he knows that’s junk email and discards it. We can’t control our thoughts we only control which ones deserve our attention. The thought I had yesterday about using a wrench to unalive someone? Meh, disregard ( after I also figured out if I knew enough about true crime to get away with it, which I decided I might) but it wasn’t an important thought just an entertaining one lol so it’s in the brain trash. I once heard someone say “ it’s your second thought and you’re first action that matter” meaning everyone has wild crazy insane thoughts first, they don’t matter “ my boyfriend is ugly”- crazy first thought, doesn’t matter “ no he’s not I’m not spazing a bit right now, or maybe he is but I don’t care I’m gonna go kiss that monster” second thought and first action- what actually matters.
- Date posted
- 13w
Dealing with this as well with my girlfriend. I'm sorry. It's definitely brutal!
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 13w
If OCD makes people terrible, then we have over 8 million terrible people in the USA alone. Do phobias make us terrible? How about depression or BiPolar disorder? Many more millions there. Ooh, how about personality disorders - could those make you terrible? More millions? With almost half of the country meeting criteria for a mental health disorder, that is over 150 million horrible people!! Or, you have a metal health issue that can be treated and there are ways to help. I hope that you will reach out for that help. We are here at NOCD.com if you need it.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 - You need to recognize that just becuase you thought it, doesn't mean its what you actually believe. That is the insidious nature of OCD. It makes us think thoughts that "FEEL" real but in reality, they are not, they are just intangible chemical signals in our brain. You can THINK he is ugly and not actually believe it. Thats why its so important to not pay attention to them. People with various OCD themes think WILD things, about killing someone, harming children, animals, themselves, having false memories about things they never did. OCD is the master of deception, so when you experience thoughts that cause you SIGNIFICANT distress its becuase its a thought that doesn't match your true, base nature and beliefs, and THAT is OCD and you beat OCD with starving it of its food source, which is compulsions and attention. you roll with the thoughts becuase they aren't important. You sit with the anxiety to teach your body its not dangerous, its hella uncomfortable, buts its not an actual threat. You train you body to stop responding to the smoke alarms in your head that are going off like crazy even tho there is NO fire.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 That’s still ok. Thoughts are just thoughts. You’re allowed to think what ever you want, your mind is a safe place and it’s no one else’s business but yours.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 1000%
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 You can also think he’s ugly and feel like it’s real but it’s not, it’s ocd messing with your mind. If ocd lies were easily realized, ocd would not be such a distressing disorder.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
@Mk3 - everyone with OCD thinks like this. Iv had thoughts about harming children, killing people, iv wished family members to not be alive anymore, hurting my pets, memories of cheating on my husband. do these make me a bad person? nope. thoughts don't have any weight on a person as thoughts are not in our active control. iv even thought my husband was ugly. iv called him a grub of a man in my head. the important thing iv don't act on my thoughts because i don't want to, they don't line up with what i believe in. Its called " ego-dystonic" thinking, you can look it up, but in short terms it means your thoughts don't reflect what you actually think or believe. its a hallmark of OCD. everyone has them, but only people with OCD attach meaning to them. OCD thoughts are like mental hallucinations, they might seem real, tangible, and represent meaning, but they are, in fact, not real, and have no meaning.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
- Date posted
- 7w
My ROCD is at an all time high right now. I have an appointment set up, but the wait is awful. My husband found one of my erp exercises where I write a sentence about him maybe not being the right partner. I had forgotten to throw it away. Of course it made him sad. I feel so ashamed and like I've damaged our relationship beyond repair. The sad part is, the thought comes,"if he ends it, at least I might get some relief". I feel like the worst wife.
- Date posted
- 7w
I thought I was doing so well. But then my partner accidentally & unknowingly triggered me by jokingly saying about himself that “he’s pretty ugly anyways.” My thought of thinking he looks ugly sometimes is the main thing my ocd revolves around. Now I feel like I SHOULD be distressed over this thought after him jokingly saying this. Ugh
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