Overthinking this guy again…

Every time we go out together and it’s not just us it’s also our manager and her son and his (the guy I’m talking to) roommate. We went to church one time alone. But my thing is I keep overthinking “am I leading him on” I still don’t know what to feel just and I’ve never been in a relationship. When we see each other we hold hands and and hug but I don’t want to kiss just yet even though I get the feeling to because I want to take it very slow especially when. I’m constantly overthinking everything. We hang out and I’m having a good time and then I go home and overthink a lot. It’s worse when I’m overthinking when waking up. Has anyone else experienced this. Like we’re friends right now but does anyone think it’s to soon to be holding hands and hugging. We held hands the second time meeting because I’m aware I want to take things slow. When I see him I get happy. I keep seeking reassurance from my mom, sister and google (of course) and I keep seeing post that you shouldn’t lead someone on and you can’t force to like someone. I overthink and then I’m calm and the thoughts start again. I really don’t want to hurt this guy he is so sweet and caring

Whisper

Date posted: 19w

Talk to him. You aren't alone, tell him exactly how you feel and you don't want to lead him on but you don't know what to do. You like him, he might like you, be open. You don't have to be alone in that relationship thinking.

abreeclarey

Date posted: 19w

@Whisper I just messaged him and apologized for holding his hands and hugging him. I told him I was afraid of leading him on. Was this good to say? I’m afraid he may look at me differently. I still want to go to church with him and our other friends and go out to eat etc. I did cry because I feel like i might ruin something or maybe it’s my mind telling me im going to ruin things.

Whisper

Date posted: 18w

@Abree clarey I think that is was good but don't feel bad. Go out, have fun, it will be ok. Tell him you like him, you both have mutual interest. He knows how you feel, so it's cleared up a bit between you two. You've done nothing wrong at all. It's what I would do. Be honest with him and yourself. You've got this girl, prayers and cheers from the sidelines. Text me if you need to.

httpet

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19w

Remember that seeking reassurance is a compulsion. Honestly I don’t know too much about relationship ocd I would speak with your therapist !

abreeclarey

Date posted: 19w

@httpet We’re not together yet but im not sure if it’s possible to have rocd even without a relationship

Someone99

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 19w

@Abree clarey Hey. Reassurance seeking and researching are definitely typical of OCD. Keep in mind that our "themes" are simply how we're mostly affected by OCD, or where it presents itself. OCD is not like an infection, it can overlap all areas of our lives. OCD is OCD. You're not doing anything wrong, in fact it's admirable that you desire to make things slow. It's the overthinking that can be addressed.

abby.vogelmeier

Date posted: 19w

i felt the same way with my boyfriend when we started talking. if he is who your meant to be with right now then talk to him about what your thinking. it’s okay to have doubts in your relationship because in the end it makes you guys stronger in your relationship. i know sometimes it feels like your leading him on but you can always look over your time together and for me all my feelings suddenly rush back immediately! i love my boyfriend so much and he helps me through a lot so if this guy is really meant to be i think you should tell him exactly what your brain is thinking.

abreeclarey

Date posted: 19w

@abby.vogelmeier Thank you so much! I’m glad I’m not the only one. I have thought about talking to him about it❤️

abreeclarey

Date posted: 16w

Overthinking so bad

I keep overthinking about the guy I go to church and stuff with and we have had talks about relationships and he’s aware of everything but I feel like I’m not being completely honest. He’s a great man but I doubt because of his looks. He’s not ugly but I’ll see another guy and find that guy super attractive. My heart is so heavy because of my anxiety. I looked on google if you should tell someone honestly that you don’t find them attractive. I don’t know what to do! I feel like crying because what if I’m leading him on. I see post that say looks don’t matter and I agree but I doubt this guy a lot. What if I’m not being completely honest with him. After church we held hands and we hugged. When I’m near him I want to be close and hug not too much touchy stuff though but when I’m at home I’m doubting everything. I feel like a horrible person. I feel like I’m just making excuses or not getting to the point I’ll call my mom when my anxiety and mind starts acting up and then I’ll be calm and now it’s up

Meg4n

Date posted: 13w

Going crazy

My feelings are everywhere at the moment and i can’t think straight. I’ve recently started talking to a boy and I’ve met up with him twice. He’s a lovely guy and I think I do like him but idk if I’m attracted to him atm he’s not really my exact type and that’s what’s driving me crazy because what if I’m in denial about my “sexuality” and I’m lying to myself? And I’m panicking like mad because everything is going so fast that I can’t think straight. I’ve never really been in this situation before. He’s also being really kind to me and I know he likes me so his intentions are clear but that’s what’s scary, whenever he messages me now I feel overwhelmed 😭 If anyone has experienced this could you share your experience? Thank you.

Sexual Orientation OCD

thebookgirl

Date posted: 9w

Worrying About Giving Partner the Wrong Idea

I'm 30 years old and in my first official relationship. We've been talking for three months and dating for two. I like this man very much. He's kind-hearted, thoughtful, incredibly smart, and very sweet to me. On our most recent date, we had a heart-to-heart about intentions. We've only slept together once. Circumstances haven't been ideal for both of us, but I was worried there was something wrong with me (story of my life). He assured me that there isn't anything wrong with me and that he is attracted to me, there's just been a lot going on that's gotten in the way of being that intimate. He also told me he wants me to know that this is more than sex. I was very relieved to hear this, and very happy to know that he wants a deeper relationship, as I want this, as well. I just keep worrying that he thinks all I want is sex, which is not true. I told him as much, but the OCD part of my brain just can't let it go and can't accept that things are good, which they are. We show affection in other ways, like holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling at the movies. I just keep feeling like I've ruined things. Can anyone give me any advice?

Relationship OCD

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Overthinking this guy again…

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