- Date posted
- 5w ago
POCD
This popped up randomly. I know logically I’m not one as I’ve only ever dated my age range and I don’t believe there’s a such thing as “latent philia” but goodness is this one weird
This popped up randomly. I know logically I’m not one as I’ve only ever dated my age range and I don’t believe there’s a such thing as “latent philia” but goodness is this one weird
Hello, OCD will use anything to make people feel uncertain to encourage them to engage in compulsions. This is especially true with attraction, because it is hard to find tangible evidence for attraction outside of feelings or bodily sensations. Also, feelings are already difficult to define and rarely provide a clear cause for their presence. Here's a video that talks in more depth about POCD. I hope it is helpful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg-VdyA9MoQ
yeah, like with any other theme, it will try it's hardest to convince you of it even when it makes literally no sense and there's no reason to think it. it's tough. sorry you're dealing with it too :(
@moon027097 Literally it just showed up a few days ago. I power through it though, still spend time with my daughter, all that.
@Cantal this is great. the best thing you can do is carry on with your life as usual, even if it's still in the background nagging at you
Mine popped up out of nowhere a couple years ago while I was working at a daycare. What's frustrating is that I also have no history of it (this was my 2nd year working with no problems before) and have always dated my own age but for some reason I started reviewing memories and finding "evidence" that I was one. Definitely one of the most terrifying themes I've had, but unfortunately a common one.
@littlecreek24 How have you been with it recently?
@Cantal Still there. For a while I was afraid to rewatch shows I love because they have child characters, but I decided that I have to keep watching them anyway if I want to get over it. Not sure if it worked, because my main theme ended up changing to morality(?) so the p thing has kind of taken a back seat. It's still around, although I'm not quite as obsessed as before.
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
Hello, I've struggled with possible OCD but it didn't involved POCD at first, at first it was basically me denying that I was ever a victim of grooming/pedophilia and how I was the real abuser towards my abusers despite the fact that I was the child, they were the adult, how is that possible??. Then eventually in 2023, I saw a video based on a FNF modder exposing him as a groomer/pedophile, and it was because when he was 17 he allegedly had an interaction with someone who was 15 that was nsfw. Now keep in mind, I was a victim of grooming/pedophilia especially since age 11 and even at 17, however I was also a bit of a promiscuous teen due to years of being groomed and I was having nsfw discussions/heavily sex positive convos with people who were 15/16/17 at 17 and I never considered how that could be inappropriate and my intent wasn't to be predatory but the fact that I was just simply exploring my sexuality, also a lot of the people I was doing this with, we were apart of a discord server that heavily encouraged NSFW convos between Teens and adults and it was made by an adult so bad environment overall made by an actual predator. However it didn't stop me in 2023 thinking that I was a pedophile as a teenager and I was genuinely worried and thought that I was a terrible person and I still do. I only did what I did because I was being hurt and thought it was okay, I never meant to hurt anyone and I at 19 literally convinced myself that I was a pedo in my under 18 teen years because of the age gap between me and my friends {1/2 years} and we had conversations that were sexual based even though I at 19 was dating my BF who was 22/23 at the time, I was 19 having sexual convos with adults, I at 19 had friends that were minors and our conversations were always appropriate and never nsfw or those same friends that I had previous convos with that were nsfw, {they were all either 17/18/19 and I was 19} our conversation topics have switched to more SFW ones unlike the ones we had when we were all minors so how could I be a pedo? and I freaked out about it, I couldn't concentrate in classes at all, it was a genuine nightmare. Eventually I did get better and realized that my behaviors were under duress and how I'm not actually a bad person and how I've changed as an adult and do not wish to harm anyone however I'm back on my cycle of worrying again and I've communicated to the people who I thought I affected and they all express no ill will or any anger and were never uncomfortable, do not think about it or just don't care/simply forgot. But Guilt eats me up like a stray dog. I also sometimes see people on twitter calling 17 year olds dating 15 or 16 year olds pedophiles or calling them "P diddy"
I look back at all past interactions with others and think “what if they were a minor” even though there is no particular reason to think that they were. Is that a common obsession with Pocd? Has anyone else had this intrusive thought? It’s so scary and exhausting.
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