- Date posted
- 19w
POCD
This popped up randomly. I know logically I’m not one as I’ve only ever dated my age range and I don’t believe there’s a such thing as “latent philia” but goodness is this one weird
This popped up randomly. I know logically I’m not one as I’ve only ever dated my age range and I don’t believe there’s a such thing as “latent philia” but goodness is this one weird
Hello, OCD will use anything to make people feel uncertain to encourage them to engage in compulsions. This is especially true with attraction, because it is hard to find tangible evidence for attraction outside of feelings or bodily sensations. Also, feelings are already difficult to define and rarely provide a clear cause for their presence. Here's a video that talks in more depth about POCD. I hope it is helpful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg-VdyA9MoQ
yeah, like with any other theme, it will try it's hardest to convince you of it even when it makes literally no sense and there's no reason to think it. it's tough. sorry you're dealing with it too :(
@moon027097 Literally it just showed up a few days ago. I power through it though, still spend time with my daughter, all that.
@Cantal this is great. the best thing you can do is carry on with your life as usual, even if it's still in the background nagging at you
Mine popped up out of nowhere a couple years ago while I was working at a daycare. What's frustrating is that I also have no history of it (this was my 2nd year working with no problems before) and have always dated my own age but for some reason I started reviewing memories and finding "evidence" that I was one. Definitely one of the most terrifying themes I've had, but unfortunately a common one.
@littlecreek24 How have you been with it recently?
@Cantal Still there. For a while I was afraid to rewatch shows I love because they have child characters, but I decided that I have to keep watching them anyway if I want to get over it. Not sure if it worked, because my main theme ended up changing to morality(?) so the p thing has kind of taken a back seat. It's still around, although I'm not quite as obsessed as before.
I get thoughts of kids Whever I think or see an image of someone my age, like for example today I saw a bikini pic of a girl my age and it randomly reminded me of a pic of a kid in a bikini I saw a month ago, is this a sign of something bad? My thought usually come up when I think abt someone my age I’m into, and they also feel like I’m purposely thinking of them, I’m not sure if it intrusive thoughts or not, it feels difficult to figure out. These thoughts also don’t distress me anymore, idk if it means something bad or not, but I do not wish to be a pedo, I hope to eventually have a relationship with a girl my age. Alongside all of that, sometimes when I see a kid I get a sense of attraction, but I’m not sure if it is false or not, to me it feels so real, but I don’t wanna be attracted to kids. I’ve just started therapy, I’m currently trying to find a way to get a diagnosis, I really hope I’m not diagnosed as a pedo. Ik that false attraction comes with negative emotion, but I don’t feel negative emotion when I get what I hope is false attraction, I keep trying to figure out if what I’m feeling is false or true because I don’t feel negative emotions, it makes me worried that it’s real and that I really am a pedo. Not looking for reassurance but can someone tell me if these are pure o ocd symptoms or something actually bad?
I have no idea anymore. I guess this all started with me worrying about whether I was gay, then whether I was a P, then worried about being just attracted to teenagers. After that I started freaking out about not feeling “grown up” enough. Like “I’m an adult wtf is wrong with me for seeing someone who is probably younger and thinking they’re physically attractive. Then I started overthinking not finding older adults (like 30 or 40) very attractive. Like ofc I’m probably not gonna find them attractive, they’re not anywhere close my age. Maybe the desires are half real. Maybe as a 21 yr old young adult I do find older teenagers (16+) somewhat physically attractive. I still think it’d be weird to date one. Maybe that’s the normal reaction I’m supposed to have. If not, please let me know. I just don’t wanna do anything illegal one day and I’m super scared I will. I can’t tell if the fear is my just being afraid of the law though, in which case I might actually just be a bad person. I hate that my brain is just rationalizing thoughts now. I feel like I can’t do the ERP thing of “just accept that the thoughts are there but don’t engage.” Like what? How can I just think a thought that might be so integral to my identity and just ignore it? If it’s all true and I don’t like people my age anymore then I have to know and plan around that, that could change my entire life. I’m rambling, my b.
Anyone with pocd in the subset of teens/ fear of being attracted to teens have any advice? I never see anyone talking about it and it’s making me go a lil cray lmao
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