It’s possible that the SSRIs are making those urges feel more intense because they can sometimes increase anxiety before they start working. It might help to talk to your prescriber, whether it’s your psychiatrist or doctor, about the possibility of adding something you can take as needed to manage the high anxiety you’re experiencing. The only thing that worked for me was clonidine because it helped slow down my thoughts and made them feel less urgent, but that’s also because I have ADHD, so it worked for me in that context. There are also medications like hydroxyzine or propranolol that can help with anxiety, but remember that most of these urges or impulses are just distorted perceptions of anxiety. It’s really just anxiety that feels incredibly strong and overwhelming.
I know it feels so real, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but I promise it’s just anxiety. You are in control, even though it might not feel that way right now. I know the thought of losing control might make you feel scared, but that’s just your OCD trying to get to you. I completely understand how intense this all feels. It’s like a form of hell, and I’m truly sorry you’re experiencing it.
It might help to talk to your prescriber about what could work for you, what helps one person might not help another. For me, magnesium glycinate made a big difference. After a few weeks, I noticed my anxiety felt more manageable, and my thoughts weren’t as intense. It’s not a medication, though, more of a supplement, and it can’t replace antidepressants or as-needed medications, but it did help calm my brain down. Also, make sure your vitamin levels are in check, things like vitamin D, B12, or iron can affect your anxiety, making it feel worse if they’re low.
It’s important to remember that antidepressants can take some time to work and may actually make you feel worse before they get better. I would recommend bringing this up with your psychiatrist or doctor. They should be able to provide more specific advice and may be open to trying different options with you. Keep in mind that if one medication doesn’t work, there are others they can try. You’ve got this.