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This is common in OCD, so you are definitely not alone in this. OCD can be very convincing, especially when you want strong reassurance. Do you work with an ERP therapist? ERP helped you learn to tolerate the unknown and accept your doubts, to minimize how long you’re living in fear.

hey i struggle with this as well! in the past, I used to religiously check social media before I went to bed just to make sure I hadn't accidentally uploaded or posted something super weird. I've also deleted social media accounts and thought omg what if i did something weird but now I can't go back and check. So I understand how you're feeling. It is super scary and sorry you're having to deal with it. With anything related to OCD, we always have to go "maybe. Maybe not. Never going to figure it out with full certainty", but that's easier said than done so it takes time. I hope it gets better

Are you able to see a ocd therapist that is practicing ERP and accepting uncertainty?

This is so totally normal. In fact, I've had almost these EXACT same thoughts. With that in mind, the best thing we can do is accept the uncertainty. When we accept and sit with the uncertainty of these thoughts/fears -- without compulsing, checking, seeking reassurance, etc. -- we take some of the negative charge off the thoughts and that lessened charge gives them more space to pass through us. Either way, I'm sorry you're feeling this. If you haven't already, I'd encourage you to check out ERP -- Exposure and Response Prevention. It changed my life!

Shall you live your life or shall you live your life in fear? Let's just say for sake of argument that I wrote something and I will get arrested for it one day. Should I sit and wait to get arrested, or live my life until I do get arrested? I choose to live my life, and not sit around and wait. It does not seem like a fun thing at all to sit in fear. Now, I wish it were that easy to just go and live your life. But, it is possible. If you want to get help with that, check us out here at NOCD. We have therapists who are waiting to meet with you! We can help you live with doubt and uncertainty. OCD does not have to be in the driver's seat of your life.