- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I developed hocd from porn and making a mistake, at 15 i started watching gay porn because porn is like an addiction you always looking for something new,one day i got curious but not worried just curious,does watching gay porn make me gay?so i googled it. Huge mistake,i was expecting that it doesn't mean anything but instead people from Reddit said to someone that asked that that it means he is a "closet homosexual" that hit like a train in my head and at that moment i developed hocd. 5 years later it got replaced with existamental and i now realize i wasn't gay but now it's too late my ocd evolved into something much worse
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I know I know I been there keep your head up
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
You will get through it
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 5y
I promise
- Date posted
- 5y
Thank you. I'm trying to hold on to any hope of getting better, which honestly is not much. But oh well.
- Date posted
- 5y
This is something I'm really struggling with at the moment as well. I'm sorry you're going through this. No that you aren't alone in this fight. Does it ever feel like you like your thoughts or want to be with a girl. False feelings? This is something that is keeping me stuck right now as it feels so real.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm not dealing with false feelings right now, but I already did. I have this friend with whom I'm very close and sometimes I'd think: you want to kiss her. You want to hold her hand. You want to date her. It was honestly terrifying, and not real at all. I'd think about it all day long, feeling extremely anxious and uneasy.
- Date posted
- 5y
You should try to see a therapist, that may help you get your feelings in order, and understand them as well, I do feel like that sometimes and I did it with a girl just to figure it out and I enjoyed it but I’m definitely not lesbian, sometimes you should try just to figure It out, don’t feel bad because you have those thoughts, you should love yourself no matter what, and is okay to be confused sometimes ??
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 17w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 17w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
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