Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 5y
confused writerconfused writer
- Date posted
- 5y
Just had to say that i have this thought too. That if i'd know i'd choose what to do. But u dont. So i cant.
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
I also wish I knew. Ive talked to people that I know are gay or bi and gave into my compulsions and ive taken those dumbass quizes on the internet and saw a thread on twitter that was like “if you look up ‘am I gay?’ ... then sis you gay” and never took into consideration for 6 years that maybe I have ocd and peoplr have told me that since I dress like a tomboy that I look like im gay. The fuck do they know. Nobody knew that I already had the thoughts “maybe..” “what if..” and sent me into a spiral
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
The thought was invalid*
Brooklyn33Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 5y
Yaaaaas. I really feel you so much ♡ Is like we don't fit with anyone. We can't be this. We can't be that. We just can't feel happy being whatever... I really think girls are pretty and sexy sometimes. Is normal that people (doesn't matter the sexuality) found sexual things or sexy bodies actually... sexual xd it is normal. I know in the present I don't want to go and have sex with a girl. Maybe someday I can try so I know what it is, maybe I will not do this because I don't need it. I don't know but that doesn't have to make me feel miserable ♡
Brooklyn33Brooklyn33
- Date posted
- 5y
God! I did the same xdd you know I am big girl and also have issues with my body. But that doesn't mean Im less girl than anyone. And I can find other girls more attractive than before because my obsession makes me focus on that much more and that doesn't change the way I see my sexuality. That doesnt have to change even if I didn't have ocd. Others can see it the way they want and it still be valid to themselves. And yes, you own your way of living free and nobody else. And ocd is not being frew at all...
hiitsemmyhiitsemmy
- Date posted
- 5y
Its like im stuck in a cage that isnt locked.. I used to tell myself “I seriously would be okay with myself if I was bisexual or gay... I just want to know” but I never knew. Infact I was terrified of the thought and thats how I knew that the thought was valid. I also thought that maybe I was just in denial and my thoughts were signs. I also kind of have tunnel vision now when I look at girls and force myself to look at girls in a certain way and have the intrusive thoughts, freak myself out, and try to dent the thought
Related posts
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 19w
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Luke_McElwee
- Date posted
- 18w
Losing my shit, freaking out
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 15w
I’m sick and tired of this .
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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