I'm so sorry everyone

Thank you, OCD is such awful thing. and the premise of said post was whether I even had OCD, its currently gotten bad again and I couldnt handle it.

@HOY Isn’t it just SO GREAT how OCD loves to give us so much doubt that we don’t even know whether we actually have it? I have felt that same way before. Idk if you have been officially diagnosed or not and I’m clearly no therapist, but that sounds very familiar to things I’ve experienced.

@RadiantlyRedeemed im not formally diagnosed, but so far it perfectly lines up with it, almost to a tee. Yeah the doubt is worst part cause (in my case) u think about actually terrible people and compare urself to them and then u overanalyze or try and think up explanations and it would be a mess, I feel disgusted in the end and I'd rather not find out why, I just do

@HOY I highly recommend getting your official diagnosis because it will give you a peace of mind knowing that an expert has actually diagnosed you. The thought process you’ve described sounds perfectly familiar to things I’ve experienced, and before I was officially diagnosed with OCD, I researched EVERYTHING (to the point that researching became a compulsion in itself).

@RadiantlyRedeemed EXACTLY, I researched many things due to anxiety and is been a thing for years now. yes I want to get diagnosed, or atleast heard/understood, I am already seeking therapist but I dont know whether or not its a good start, as I want to see people more well versed in this kind of thing

@HOY I completely understand that. If you feel your therapist doesn’t hear or understand you, then you have every right to find a new one! I had two pretty terrible experiences with therapy before finally finding someone who understood OCD and helped treat it directly. Ultimately, while they may be experts on the brain, you are paying them a service and they may not be experts on OCD. An expert on OCD is more what you may need!

@RadiantlyRedeemed Yeah that is what I am going to seek. its just been so tiring at this point u just feel like crawling into a hole and never getting out.

@HOY Oh I get it, I really do. I have so many years worth of desperate prayers for it to all disappear from me. I was spiraling the other night and found a prayer from five years ago over the same context (word for word) of what I was spiraling over. It made me realize that I had gotten over it before and I will do so again. As silly as it may sound, a glowstick has to bend in order for it to glow, but allowing it to bend won’t break it. You’ll find healing, sometimes in the most unexpected ways!

@RadiantlyRedeemed My understanding parents want me to seek the spiritual/prayers, and is something I look forward to

@HOY I wish you the best on your spiritual journey! I am a Christian and it genuinely has helped me so much (honestly saved my life a few times and in more ways than one). But know that it likely won’t just disappear after praying, you will grow and learn how to live with it. There’s a Bible verse in the book of Esther that says “Perhaps you were created for such a time as this” and that always helps me with OCD because you never know who you can help that may also be struggling! You can find ways to make it empowering to someone else. Anyway I could go on about it and I’m happy to discuss my experience with Christianity/OCD more but I will be praying for you!

@RadiantlyRedeemed that is beautiful, thank you so much

@RadiantlyRedeemed Reading this gave me so much insight I too am a believer - Christian and struggle