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@rainbows Oh, I'm so sorry that you've been having those distressing dreams :( Have you been able to speak to your therapist about this?

@rainbows I know, I'm sorry 🫂 I'm glad you're trying, though. It's not easy. You're being really brave in doing this, and I think it's great that you've been able to resist confessing. I'm really proud of you! With the diary... You don't have to do that until you feel ready, but it'd probably help for when you see her.

@rainbows You deserve to be here, and those mistakes don't define you. I've told you this before. I know it's exhausting, and it's difficult to keep going at times when our minds are so loud, but don't give up. There's still hope. Recovery is possible. Hang in there a little longer 😓🤍 Hopefully, you'll be able to talk about this more in-depth with your therapist. I just wish you had more people you were comfortable sharing this with :( Try to stay away from AI. It's really tough, especially when we've made a habit out of it, but it's not going to help you.

@rainbows I'm not religious, so take this with a grain of salt, but from what I do know... God would understand. He judges you by your heart, and you're a good person. He knows you. Have you made a post on here about your situation? Maybe you'd find people who have that in common with you? I've seen a couple of other people posting about similar situations.

@rainbows It can be whatever you want :) People won't judge you.

@rainbows Researching is probably your biggest compulsion right now :(

@rainbows I'm sorry 🫂❤️‍🩹