[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 1y
sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 1y
First, I understand you friend and I’m so sorry you’re enduring this. It is very much intrusive thinking. The thoughts are so sticky, getting stickier as you wrestle with them, And the agony of feeling unsure about your own memory is truly awful. Uncertainty is so uncomfortable; it feels like it will kill you. BUT I know that it won’t, regardless of how our brains say otherwise. And I also know that not only are our thoughts not that powerful, I know how powerful and loving God is. Whether or not you prayed for a meteor strike (and your anguish over it is a pretty good indicator that your OCD has taken the reins and ran) that doesn’t change who God is or how he is at work in this world and your life. I wish so desperately I had the words to give your mind lasting peace, and I’d give it to us all if I could. But I promise that you are not your OCD, you are not your thoughts, you are not alone, and you are precious in this world.
sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymoususer26251 Do you think that if you prayed for a disaster God would do it? I’ll just leave it with this, so I don’t tiptoe too near reassurance: God knows you have OCD, knows your hurt and struggle, and knows the part of your mind that considers ending your life. And because God is all loving, not only does He care deeply about the pain your mind causes you, but He cares deeply about the rest of creation. He is greater and more powerful than your thoughts, I promise you.
sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymoususer26251 Testing is just another form of checking. It feels like it will help, but it keeps you enslaved to your thoughts. ERP looks different for everyone, but phrases that have helped me are “You don’t have to figure it out right now” and “We’ll worry about it later.” It’s not empty words, I do fully intend to worry and try to figure things out later, but what inevitably happens is that by the time later comes, my anxiety has eased enough that my fears start to seem ridiculous (something I would never have been able to see in the thick of things). Now it doesn’t always work; sometimes the anxiety moves onto panic and I have other practices to calm me down (one being a really good medication from my doctor). Healing is non-linear, sometimes in the middle of great days there’s a really really bad one, but healing is possible.
sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymoususer26251 Have you reached out to someone you can talk to about the thoughts that burden you? Someone who can be a sounding board and a good coach for healing practices? What you’re going through is not how life is supposed to be, OCD doesn’t get to rule your mind forever. Having a good counselor or therapist and support system can help in big ways.
sfgal88sfgal88
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymoususer26251 This app has great therapists who work virtually. And very likely the school you attend would have counseling resources that could help as well, even if you needed a referral to something better suited to you. You’re worth too much in this world to go through this alone and to have to fight your mind by yourself ♥️
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