can someone help me gauge this situation

@viee I’m sorry you are experiencing so much stress. If you think you are on the verge of a panic attack, try stabilizing your breathing (inhale while counting to ten then exhale while counting to ten). Btw this is absolutely OCD. You were already posting a message on Reddit asking for help for something which I can tell means your mind was already vulnerable, then you started worrying about gender (again you’re brain was vulnerable and latched onto something) and then it found something else. It’s the dangerous nature of OCD. I noticed you said asked “why I didn’t feel repulsed at the idea of cheating” this entire message shows you are extremely uncomfortable at the idea of cheating! I’m in a relationship myself and know exactly how you feel. There are times that I see people who are attractive and feel terrible about it but then I think about how sure, other people that aren’t my fiance may look nice, but it doesn’t mean I find them more attractive or suddenly want to leave my fiance! And that trail of thinking typically has me thinking about ALL of the qualities I find attractive about my man. Attraction is so much more than looks, just like a relationship is so much more than physical.

@viee Of course! But you had intrusive thoughts and maybe even intrusive physical reactions. If it wasn’t so, you wouldn’t be so overwhelmed rn as you have been for a few days. Here’s an article on intrusive physical reactions: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/info/ocd-stats-and-science/why-ocd-can-cause-a-groinal-response-and-what-you-can-do-about-it Here’s an article about intrusive thoughts regarding cheating: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-cheating-ocd Remember OCD will always try to attack what you care most about. I hope this helps you!

@RadiantlyRedeemed thanks so much!