Hi there! I am 4 months postpartum and struggling with harm ocd, the fear of what if I harm my child. It has manifested to the fear of what if I harm my husband, sister, nieces, parents, etc. Anyone else have this experience and how did you get through it?
Hey! I’m not a mum/don’t have postpartum ocd but last night I was listening to Bryony Gordon’s podcast, it was the episode where she speaks to actress Kimberly Nixon who started having OCD symptoms postpartum and you may find it helpful? Both women were incredibly open about their experience with OCD and having children
Thank you so much I will listen to it!
Hi I’m not a mum But I also have harm OCD and the constant what ifs but it’s important to not believe these thoughts, because they are just intrusive thoughts! The more you buy into the thoughts and do compulsions the worse it will get. Spend as much time with other people and let the thoughts pop up without reacting to them & then your brain will realise that they are just thoughts.
@Holl1 Thank you, I am trying to do that but I can’t help but feed into them/argue them and freak out. I am trying my best and need to remember this, thank you for replying
You are not alone! I had postpartum ocd but it wasn't a surprise because I had it before having the kids. So the harm thoughts did not surprise me - I know how scary it is though to have those kind of thoughts and you're certainly not alone
@jennamax20 Thank you! Any tips for getting over it?
@mfernandes1 Are you getting images of harming them or is it more of a safety obsession like what if something happens? I don't want to share too much about mine because I don't want to trigger or put thoughts in your mind that were pretty awful that I has - can you tell me more about the kinds of thoughts you're having?
@jennamax20 Thanks I appreciate that! It’s more of me thinking of different ways I could possibly harm my baby and then being scared that it would happen and so on and also images of it happening 😫
It's the worst. The images are awful. I have such a huge passion for postpartum mental health. Did you have ocd before postpartum or at least intrusive thoughts? It also can just be an onset postpartum which is soooo terrifying if you haven't experienced it before - I have a lot to say but for now just know what you are experiencing really is common and nothing is wrong with you except your brain is latching onto these thoughts that are horrifying and the alarm you feel and obsession over "what does this mean????" "Am I a murderer??" "Am I unsafe??" "Can I trust myself to give the baby a bath?" All is going to feed into the ocd and actually make the cycle worse. I can share more with you and specifics of how to attempt to not give so much weight to the thoughts of you think it would be helpful. Do you see a therapist?
@jennamax20 I just started to see a therapist for it and it turns out I must have had ocd before being pregnant but I didn’t know it. I mostly had fears of passing out while driving or over thinking in social situations and ruminating on if I said the right thing or not. My therapist said that was ocd, I always figured it was just anxiety and I never had intrusive thoughts like what I do now. But yes now I am horrified with these thoughts and get panicky and scared that I’ll lose control and do those things or maybe I would do those things without losing control since I keep thinking them. It is just so scary, I hate it. I would love some advice on how to not give weight to the thoughts. Thank you for your help
@mfernandes1 It sounds like your therapist has an understanding of OCD and that's great. You will want to make sure he or she knows about exposure and response prevention - this is the best way to treat OCD Here is an article about postpartum ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/postpartum-intrusive-thoughts?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=NOCD_PM_US&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADEWRhaZ4BgYACQLKXdBAp-wJxEQl&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqv2_BhC0ARIsAFb5Ac_VFX4m72x3VbOAyvWIA5x0ZIUjEysGygIPBSt8QPc2PWrdLpRnS4caAk3IEALw_wcB As far as treatment - the absolute best thing you can do is NOT feed the ocd by giving the thoughts a reaction. Trust me when I say I know how hard this is - it feels irresponsible to not give it attention when it's so horrific. But I use something called "response prevention messages" that are supposed to keep you from doing compulsions - compulsions for new moms would probably be a lot of avoidance - not being in the kitchen because there are sharp things, not walking on hard surfaces etc, so avoiding doing those things is actually going to make things worse. So for example you may get a horrific thought or image when you see the balcony - your body may alarm and respond to it, but then you have a choice - take it seriously and panic and google and give the baby to your husband, or be like "well that was an awful thought" and move on even if you feel awful. For me I would get intrusive thoughts when I had my kids on a walk in the stroller and be like wow I could push the stroller into the street - so sometimes I would have like the safety strap on my wrist which is a compulsion in my case in response to that thought. So instead of putting on the safety strap I would be like ocd thought moving on and try to engage in the real world
If your therapist is trained in ERP- they would want to walk you through some planned exposures that purposely make you anxious, but then your body regulates without doing compulsions. After time, your hopefully realize you are safe to let things go and not give them second thought
Hey all, This is so strange to share this, and I have been judged by others and misdiagnosed many times. About a year ago I worked with an OCD therapist and it was really triggering. For me my thoughts are mainly about suicidal ocd and harm ocd centered around my children of all things. Fear that I could or would want to hurt them, then feeling so horrible that I believe I’m suicidal then I go back and forth on that. After reading a few of your posts, it makes me truly have a bit of hope that I can overcome this.
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭
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