Hey everyone, I need help. I woke up just now with the worst thoughts ever. Thoughts that GOD leaving me, thoughts that I like the bad guy, and thoughts that are worse than anything that I have ever thought of before. I realize that I am asking for reassurance, but I am so scared that I mean these thoughts and I just want GOD to keep me and my family safe and know that I don’t mean these thoughts… please help
That sounds so awful… I am working on acceptance, but I can’t imagine accepting that something awful will happen.. I am working on this with my therapist where I am not accepting a real risk, I am simply not engaging with the OCD lie, but then my OCD is twisting even that… it’s like I am afraid that it is real and not OCD… I wake up thinking that I have to do compulsions because it’s real… I just can’t keep living like this
You are stronger than you think. Living with the possibility that things may go wrong is not ever easy. But when you learn to let go of the things that you cannot control and just let the universe take the wheel, you can find freedom in smaller, more personal aspects of life. God knows your struggles, He knows your strengths and weaknesses and he has put you here to learn and grow. OCD is a condition that loves to play with religious beliefs and everything you care about. You must first accept and acknowledge that these thoughts are a product of ocd and you must work towards accepting that even religion and God are not off limits to Ocd. Picture is as Ocd is the fisherman, and your thoughts are the fish. Some of them may bite once in a while, but you have a choice whether you let yourself bite, and then struggle and get ripped out the water and put into a bucket. Catch and release as much as possible and if possible, work on recognizing the warning signs before you bite at all. I wish you all the strength today and moving forward and you are strong and everything eventually passes. All the best!
Firstly you do not have a problem with God, ocd is the problem and is attack anything you care about,now the problem to your fear is very simple cause the core of ocd treatment is are you willing to live in a world where your fear can come true or happen?
Have you received Jesus as your personal savior? If so you are a child of God and all of God's promises are yours and "He will never leave you or forsake you". As a child of God, it's not about our ability to hang on to God because we will waiver, it's about Him holding us, and "nothing can pluck you from your Father's hands" (I'm paraphrasing, but there are Bible verses making these promises) :-)
HARM OCD VENT. I feel Terrified. I am so scared that I am going to act on a terrible harm ocd intrusive thought on someone else. The idea, the sensations the urges terrify me because it feels so scarily real. I feel like im a horrible person - a danger and i’m so guilty for having intrusive thoughts. I hate knives, I avoid looking at them in real life, in the kitchen as i’m so terrified that i will do sone thing terrible. I get excited when my boyfriend cones round as i always think he knows about my thoughts so at least he would restrain me if i were to do anything bad. I just feel so scared so guilty. I have this horrible sensation of urge running through my body- currently im on the verge of tears- i feel lost. My ocd has even latched onto pumpkin carving - scared i will do something bad. Now my OCD is just being like “ maybe your avoiding is all fake and your trying to cover your a bad person” “ what if u actually want to “. “ I want to “ “ You arnt actually trying to hard from harmful objects “ its TERRIFYING. please may someone reply - I’m terrified right now its like an intrusive FEELING is in my body. Sorry guys. I NEED reassurance at this point, I don’t know what to do.
I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....
This might be asking for reassurance but I’m at a point I’m not sure if this is ocd and who better to ask than you guys. Also want to mention I have been to a psychologist who diagnosed me with ocd and I’ve tried to seek therapy through NOCD but had a bad experience so I’m just looking for an opinion I’ll take with a grain of salt. I’ve been through bouts of pocd that I got through but now it’s morphed into something that feels so different. It’s like harm ocd and pocd together and it revolves around my daughter. Before this happened I was a loving mother who valued my kid more than anything. Now this is happening and it feels so sinister. I’m getting urges to do something bad and I get these feelings like I want to do that and it’s like my brain gets foggy and my values slip away and I feel like I could do it. But then I get a moment of clarity and I’m like wait a minute I’ve never hurt anyone in my life nor have I ever thought about it and this is my child what is happening. But then I get that foggy brain again and it’s like I can’t see her as my child. I try to sit with it and it’s like I get this adrenaline rush and feel like I have to do it. But I know I don’t want to do that, but then it’s like trying to make me want to want to. I’m not sure if I’m just lacking insight and clarity because I’m overwhelmed with the groinals, urges, thoughts and feelings but I just keep obsessing over the fact that death is my only way out. I don’t understand what happened to me. It feels like this demonic oppression and I don’t know how to get through this one or if this is still something I can get through because it might not be ocd. I try to go with the thoughts and feelings and say yeah maybe, maybe not, or yeah I’m going to do that but it seems to fuel the feelings. I feel like I’m teetering between the person I was and this evil awful person who has no regard for others. I don’t want to be around my daughter and I’m just angry all the time. The fear and anxiety used to be something I relied on and I feel none of that now. I used to be able to say “well no matter what I feel or think I can control my actions” and now it feels like I cannot control my actions but I’ve never hurt anyone before. Someone please give it to me straight and tell me if you think this might not be ocd.
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