- Date posted
- 17w
I'm struggling
I did SO well yesterday, but here I am struggling again.
I did SO well yesterday, but here I am struggling again.
Keep going!! Recovery is not linear… there are ups and downs; 2 steps forward , one step backward… keep going!💝
@Hopeful58 Thank you! I really want to ask you if something follows the lines of OCD that happened to me
@Anony1314 I would be honored to “listen” to your questions…
@Anony1314 You love your children. You had an intrusive thought and your body reacted because you were thinking about it. Because you want to protect and love your kids… OCD is causing you to doubt that… then OCD can keep you in compulsion mode which is the whole goal of OCD. Are you in therapy with NOCD? What is happening to you is a very common OCD theme… you are not alone!!!💝
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
anyone else have a good evening/ day then fall back down hurrendously the next day? Honestly yesterday I felt great! Like I knew what I like (opposite gender) and these ‘false attractions’ are just false alarms caused by OCD… like I knew these thoughts and feeling are OCD. Today I question it all over again. Are these false attractions real? Why has my loss of opposite attraction feel like it won’t return? Though yesterday I got snippets.
I am STRUGGLING. Ugh why did I allow this to happen
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