Help with ROCD

Can anyone relate to this type of ROCD? It’s like i obsess of my partners past, I’ve spent probably 100 hours over the last 3 years asking him about girls he was with before me questioning him about every little detail and seeking reassurance. I don’t want to think about these girls at all. And I’ve been in ERP since August and was doing really good and not sure if it’s just getting bad again the last few days because of the holiday (Easter) and i had to go to his hometown where I know he had a past in and he recently brought a ring which I’m so excited about but it just seems like it’s getting harder for me and i don’t wanna be talking about girls he dated for a few months before me when we are about to get engaged. Am i ruining my future? What can I do to help and to not bring up stuff about the girls before me? How can I be in the moment and not relate everything to an irrelevant girl before me? Help

everythingis...

Date posted: 34w

I wish I knew how to help it, but just know you’re not alone ❤️

Misstama65

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w

I've been there and currently working on this exact problem. I guess first understood it's ocd but feels real. Try to put off checking and asking for reassurance. If your boyfriend can help you... If he understands what's happening... He could stop giving you reassurance

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

@Misstama65 Ik that’s hard bc i badger him with questions but at some point he does walk away and say im done talking about this

Misstama65

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w

@Anonymous I totally feel that. I just asked my spuuse about 4 times in a row if he would still stay with me if I went crazy (I also have fear of going crazy) understand the desperate need for reassurance but know it doesn't help. What helps the anxiety to reduce is being OK with the uncertainty. Resist the compulsion... Maybe maybe not...

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

@Misstama65 Your right.. i need to focus on just resisting the compulsion today and seeking reassurance and hope it jsut settles and gets easier

Misstama65

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w

@Anonymous It should

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

@Misstama65 I can’t stop asking questions to my partner he’s so annoyed now and we are fighting like we use to before and i jsut can’t stop his responses arent enough for me i feel so awful he’s getting so mad im just like not accepting anything he tells me now im scared we won’t get engaged this summer he jsut said im acting how i was 2 years when i was really bad following him around not leaving him alone and that i ruined Easter and he wants to go home and spend it with his family

Misstama65

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w

I've been there. Like 10 minutes ago. You can do this

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

Thank you so can you 🩷

Misstama65

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 34w

How are you doing? wonder if we can support each other in not doing compulsive reassurance seeking?

Anonymous

Date posted: 34w

@Misstama65 The day has gotten better, luckily getting out of the house to have dinner with family helped, my partner and I seem to be okay now. But as I’m sure you know when this happens and we do our compulsions after working so hard it feels like all our hard work was for nothing. I’m disappointed in myself for how i acted and mostly for looking at a girl from his past social media for the first time since August so i just feel like i ruined so much progress. But trying to not best myself up. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow luckily so it will help to talk it all out there. How was the rest of your day? Were you able to stay from more reassurance seeking?

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