PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

Are you afraid to tell yourself you're depressed?

I'm really afraid to say that and the reason might be because of how depression is described to us. And at this point I dont know what is depression. I don't think feeling down is depression. Or sometimes feeling like things doesnt go as you want and you dont know what to do. Maybe it is, I can't tell it cause if i say im depressed in these situations it makes the situation worse, I feel like I put more weight on me. I know its common for depressed people to be ashamed that they are depressed and that might be my case too but as I said, many times I feel like I shouldnt call it depression, just feeling low or things has been stressful and it made me mentaly tired. I imagine depression as a different thing, i believe i was depressed before,because of ocd and i wasnt able to deal with my emotions, and sometimes I spin about that too cause again depression is presented differently in social media and by therapists too. So everytime i feel down i spin about if im depressed, afraid of depression cause I see it as a really bad thing.

moon0270

Date posted: 16w

i'm sure there are many other people that feel this way. being depressed is still heavily stigmatized but i think it's because people also view it in a very narrow way. the way each person experiences it will be different. i get what you're saying. sometimes it can be scary to put a label on something you're feeling because then it feels more real. but if you are feeling depressed but are hesitant to say so, remember that it's not something to be ashamed of.

PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

The problem is that i don't know, so i just say maybe maybe not... but then i feel shame that I don't accept that im depressed, I avoid it... but thats how people with ocd feel like. I know people say thats the point of uncertainty that you never know, but to say you never know if you are depressed or not and cant decide how it feels like for me its not useful...

moon0270

Date posted: 16w

@PRIV8 i get what you mean. it can be tricky to approach feelings like this because then you're not sure of if you should or shouldn't try to figure it out.

PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

@moon027097 What works for you? Do you label your feelings or it makes it worse for you too? I feel like its better for me to say i feel down now,people say its avoidance/being afraid of depression but labeling it as that just makes things worse...

moon0270

Date posted: 16w

@PRIV8 i've struggled with bouts of depression since my teens and i've always found it helps me more to acknowledge it as depression because that allows me to get through it. however, i can also understand the opposite happening in your case (as in labeling it makes you feel worse) but i can also see how others would see that as avoidance. however, you do acknowledge that you're feeling down so maybe it's not avoidance at all. perhaps you don't need to label it but rather focus on doing things that can help you get through whatever negative feelings you're experiencing. like hobbies or going outside or things you enjoy doing. i know it sounds cliché but it helps me and helped me a lot at the beginning of the year when i was incredibly depressed

PRIV8

Date posted: 16w

@moon027097 I got a question now, cause you sad we can experience depression differently, and that made me question if its the same with suicidal thoughts. I have suicidal ocd but recently I gone through some emotions and these thoughts came up, but i couldnt tell that its ocd or not cause I was feeling down.This feeling of im tired/i had enough is somewhat real so im scared the thoughts are too. So im questioning if its different how we experience suicidal thoughts too

moon0270

Date posted: 16w

@PRIV8 i don't experience suicidal OCD so i wouldn't know. if you experience suicidal OCD then it's likely it could be OCD, but they could be suicidal thoughts as well. im hesitant to say anymore as im not a professional, but i hope that you can get through whatever is getting you down.

SAGUI

Date posted: 4w

Personally, my problem with how depression is portrayed nowadays is intense sadness. It’s glorified on social media and sort of emo. Real depressed people, like you, don’t go out of their ways to let everyone know they’re depressed. They’re not writing poetry or victimizing themselves because some girl left them. Depression is a point at which the individual has hit such a low that they mostly feel empty and when they have emotions it’s being stressed or sad or anxious and, hopefully, happy at times. But mostly you feel exhausted. I once thought I was depressed but I wasn’t, I was just afraid of death, that’s not depression. Think of depression as being exhausted. You’re tired. You don’t want to die but you also don’t really want to live. You just want to lie down and read a book or eat a pie while scrolling instagram underneath your blanket. But unfortunately the world doesn’t allow you that much free time so you have to keep putting on a mask. But eventually you will heal. It takes time but like an illness eventually you will heal.

PRIV8

Date posted: 4w

Idk, i dont think thats depression. Tiredness is not depression everytime. I asked chatgpt and he told me its not always depression. Anxiety and ocd can lead you to a place where you can really tired but its not clinical depreasion at all...

SAGUI

Date posted: 4w

So yes, I do think you’re depressed. I’m not going to suggest talking to a friend but maybe try just finding more time for yourself. Try a new food or read a new book. Play a new game. Try something new. And when those thoughts come all “This won’t last forever” try to tell them to shut up. Sometimes it works. Try pretending to be happy and eventually you will be happy. Or get off your phone and hang out with friends. That’s therapy in it of itself.

PRIV8

Date posted: 4w

Okay I apreciate your answer

SAGUI

Date posted: 4w

@PRIV8 I’m not very good at giving advice about this stuff. I don’t know, this just helped me and it’s hard for me to talk about my feelings to my friends. It feels uncomfortable.

PRIV8

Date posted: 24w

Being sick makes my symptoms worse

I got a virus, alot of people is sick now, this is another bog virus, i dont know the name, but i talked someone who told me that its normal that this virus attacks your nervous system, and brings up the things we are the most sensitive. I wrote a post before that i had really scary thoughts about maybe i will die tomorrow or i can die anyday, i feel like thats was a sign of that cause now im finding myself being so sensitive about this and also im afraid of depression, suicidal thoughts and feeling hopeless. The biggest problem is that i dont know how to label them,if i say maybe im actually dealing with depression, and i need to work on these dark thoughts then i feel anxious and freak out that im having depression and deep thoughts and then feel shame cause i use fear to hide from a problem which i should take seriously, but if i say its not true, i feel like im lying and not working on my mental health... but these dark hopeless feelings feel so real and the thoughts too, and i know this sounds really ocdish cause everyone says this, but it doesnt feel like the ocd symptoms i have. It seems like ocd is more about me not accepting that im depressed or feeling hopeless which makes me feel guilt more cause that sounds like i just dont want to accept that im actually depressed. Im really afraid that these thoughts and feeling means i have an actual problem, and im actually going through depression. My ocd can be about depression too but i heard from someone that many people with ocd doesnt want to accept that they are depressed and thats the problem, so this makes me feel bad that i have to accept that this is an actual problem. Also with grief, i have a fear over grief cause i think i cant deal with it, and i always has thoughts like "you didnt grieved well" and it makes me really sad and afraid that i will never get out of grief... Whatever i do i feel stuck cause if i accept im going through depression and these thoughts are something i need to work on i just feel worse... I dont know what should i do about this, view it as something i need to work on or its just ocd and the illness getting me where im the most sensitive...

PRIV8

Date posted: 24w

This illness brings up intrusive feelings

I was told that this illness that im having now(some say its some kind of covid) is attacking people where they are the most sensitive, so it got my mental health and at first it was the fear of my health which im starting to face but now it got deeper and i have feelings of hopelessness and like a depressed feelings and thoughts like things wont get better. And i dont know where this comes from, im afraid this is actually what i believe. Dont know if its ocd or the illness actually made these problem come up what was pushed away by me... When i have these feelings my first reaction is fear and i dont know if its something i shouldnt give attention or the fear is actually bad and it makes me avoid the problem, so i should work on this depression... I dont know whats happening but its scarry and i dont like these dark thoughts. I think i suffer more because of the fear and shame of these thoughts but again i dont know if the fear and shame shows me that i dont need to give attention to these thoughts or the fear and shame actually blocks me to deal with these thoughts and feelings...

PRIV8

Date posted: 15w

Questioning my faith or ocd

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

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Are you afraid to tell yourself you're depressed?

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