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@whatever. Hey girl, I know you are going through a really tough time right now and I am really sorry you are feeling like this. I just wanted to share my thoughts after reading what you wrote. It really sounds like you might be seeing this through an OCD lens, and I totally understand that because I do the same thing all the time. People change in front of others pretty often, even kids. That does not automatically make it sexual or inappropriate. Genitals are just body parts, and while society tends to sexualize them, not every situation involving them is inherently sexual. From what you described, it seems more likely that he was just changing and not doing anything with bad intentions. Yes, indecent exposure is a real thing and it can have consequences, but that does not automatically mean someone is being pervy or predatory. It can mean that, but it does not always. And you even pointed out that it was unlikely any child actually saw anything. So it is also possible that he checked first or that he just did not see it as a big deal. OCD loves to grab onto moments like that and spin them into the worst-case scenario. I know because mine does the same to me constantly. Honestly, I think you might be being overly cautious in a way that feels very driven by OCD. You have said you love him and it sounds like he really cared about you too. But it feels like OCD is the one talking here, not your true thoughts. OCD thrives on fear and doubt. It loves to take a small shred of uncertainty and stretch it until it becomes this huge overwhelming thing. But that is not reality. And the whole point of recovery is to not give into those fears or let OCD dictate what we do. Honestly, it sounds like everything was fine at first, but then you started ruminating and spiraled. OCD made the situation feel way worse than it actually was, and it seems like the breakup happened more because of the panic and overthinking than the actual event itself. You are not supposed to fully understand your brain or everything it does. That is part of the trap. OCD wants you to analyze and figure things out forever, but that just keeps you stuck. It gives you the illusion of control, but it actually makes everything worse over time. I am saying all of this because I have been there. My moral OCD is intense too, and it is always easier for me to see it in someone else than in myself. But reading your comment and hearing the way you describe things, it really sounds like OCD is calling the shots. I am also really sorry for what you went through as a kid. That kind of trauma definitely plays a role in how you are trying to protect yourself now. But if you keep letting OCD make your decisions, it is going to convince you that everyone is unsafe and every situation is dangerous, even when that is not true. You do not need to understand your brain completely, and your partner is not supposed to either. He is not responsible for tiptoeing around every single possible trigger. Of course it is important to be mindful and respectful, but triggers are part of life and part of healing. Our partners are not supposed to avoid them completely. In fact, my therapist has told me that partners will trigger us sometimes and that is actually a good thing for growth. We cannot live wrapped in bubble wrap if we want to get better. I really hope this does not come off harsh or mean. That is not what I want at all. I care and I just want to be honest. It sounds like things were going well and then OCD stepped in. You ruminated, you spiraled, and it led to a breakup that maybe didn’t need to happen. His reaction might not have been great, but it sounds more like it came from feeling hurt or frustrated than anything else. And that is valid. Our partners are allowed to feel hurt and confused by the accusations our OCD throws at them. I’ve been in similar situations with my boyfriend. Anyway, that is just my perspective. Let me know what you think. And please be kind to yourself through all of this. (I’m sorry this is so long!)