My mom keeps telling me it's not OCD

My mom will sit and listen to me for quite a while, but she interrupts a lot and gets angry/upset. While I appreciate her passion, it's often stressful. Every time I come to her, if I even *mention* OCD, she gets frustrated and says, "Everyone deals with these issues, you know. It doesn't mean it's OCD." And I repeat, "I'm not saying my issues are unique — I'm saying the way I respond to them is a problem." But she just shakes her head and says, "Okay, I need to get back to my day." Full context, I'm an adult, and I live with my boyfriend, but I'm staying at my mom's for the next month. After living away from home for years, I went back to living with her during the pandemic, and I only recently left to live with him. Honestly, I think living with her for so long in my adulthood really messed with me and made me feel like a teenager all over again. I feel like my mental growth is stunted, and that's part of why my OCD is so bad lately. Not blaming, just noticing. She doesn't seem to understand how relieving the OCD diagnosis has been for me, because it explains so so so many things I've struggled with for years, and it's exciting to have more resources that can help me. But I think she sees it as me finding an excuse to *not* work on myself, which is just untrue. I'm not going to let OCD hold me back or use it as an excuse, but I'm also not going to pretend it's not a problem when I know it is — I was even diagnosed through NOCD. The whole point being to fix it, not use it as a crutch. When I have an issue, it's unbearable. Any issue, big or small, feels just the same. I feel a sinking feeling, my mind races, my heart beats out of my chest. I end up running to my support systems, crying, ruminating for days on end. Then, months later, the same exact issue can feel like nothing anymore, because it's no longer an obsession. I'm sure everyone deals with issues in a similar way, but I *know* there is something specific and debilitating going on with me. This is reassurance seeking, but in the face of being told I'm making a big deal out of nothing, can someone diagnosed with OCD tell me if they relate to the specific intensity of these feelings??

User type: Therapist

Date posted: Yesterday

Dealing with a loved one's lack of understanding about OCD can be so stressful and disheartening, especially when you're trying to share something important. It's completely valid that receiving a diagnosis felt relieving and like a key to getting help, not an excuse. Many people with OCD experience that overwhelming, intense feeling where any issue, big or small, feels unbearable due to the nature of obsessions. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you.

flyana

Date posted: 23h ago

@Ashley Moffitt Thank you for your response! I was seeing a NOCD therapist, but she left the app abruptly, and now I’m hesitant to start with a new one just yet. I need time to process. I do appreciate the validation, so thank you! I did a lot of ERP with her and have been doing more exercises on my own. So the sessions were definitely helpful, but the way it ended was definitely discouraging. I’m getting better slowly but surely, it’s just why I’ve been relying on my mom a bit more than I should.

midnightsnack

Date posted: Yesterday

Have you ever tried sending her some of the explanatory articles from NOCD? They have tons about the different subtypes and resources for family. It might help to hear it explained from a mental health professional (via article).

flyana

Date posted: 23h ago

@midnightsnack I sent her two articles, and she read them, so now she feels like I’m patronizing her when I try to explain more. She says, “I get it, you sent me those things and I read them.” But I understand, I’m sure it’s really stressful for her. Thank you for your feedback! I might still try sending her a few others on this specific issue

midnightsnack

Date posted: 22h ago

@flyana Ugh, it’s so tough dealing with that. I think you’re right that you may just have to seek different support systems for OCD related stuff. I’m sorry :(

munroc13

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi, I’m obviously not a professional but I can relate because my mom had a very similar reaction. Every time I would tell her I was feeling anxious she would have a nonchalant response and undermine my emotions. I knew she wanted to help but just didn’t know how because she couldn’t relate and that’s not her fault. It stinks because you want your loved ones understanding and support but the reality is not everyone will understand so you have to build your own support system and just know those boundaries and triggers. Honestly, talking to my mom would make me feel worse so I just stopped discussing those specific issues with her and found other outlets.

flyana

Date posted: 23h ago

@munroc13 Ugh, I’m so sorry that was your experience with your mom. It sucks, doesn’t it? I hate thinking I’d have to stop confiding in her because she really helps me a lot of the time, but lately, I think I’m causing her more harm than good. And myself. I’m hope you were about to find good alternative support systems, too. It’s admirable that you figured out what you did/didn’t need and went for it

Anonymous;):...

Date posted: Yesterday

I understand this is difficult for you but you know it’s ocd, you know you have diagnosed ocd whether or not she believes you is up to her not you, unfortunately there are some things people just can’t understand or grasp, you could try sending her articles and pages about ocd but at the end of the day whether or not she believes you is not your problem and not your fault even if it does hurt it’s not your responsibility.

flyana

Date posted: 23h ago

@Anonymous;):(:|:) You’re right, and I need to let go of that desire to have control and be heard exactly right, because it’ll never happen. She read the articles and watched the videos I sent her, and decided I’m still overreacting, so I think I’m at a point where I just need to accept that reality and believe in myself. Thank you 🙏

Anonymous;):...

Date posted: 23h ago

@flyana That’s the only thing that matters is you know who you are and you can do all the things you want even with the ocd, she’s still your mom she just doesn’t get it 🩷

Vee4

Date posted: 19w ago

I think I have severe ocd

So I've had OCD since I was a child. Like really young. The first intrusive thought I can remember was when I was 5. It just keeps getting worse and lately they've been making me physically ill or throwing me into extreme panic attacks again ( ones where I can't move my body ) the other night I thought God was trying to kill me because I was thinking about ending myself from OCD+ life issues but in reality I was just having a panic attack😭😭it affects me daily. It gets a little better with therapy but I don't see therapy coming into my life any time soon and I'm not even sure if I would want to go (for multiple reasons). To wrap this up if you have severe ocd can you tell me what it's like?? I don't want to label anything without proper research and hearing others perspectives. Thank you!! <3 (My profile says all of my subtypes if that helps any)

tlousluvr

Date posted: 18w ago

advice 🧸

hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗

ConstantPain

Date posted: 13w ago

Dealing with a lot. Need support and company.

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.

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My mom keeps telling me it's not OCD

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