Anonynmous19

Date posted: 19h ago

Pocd 18+

Im at work and work is where my ocd is triggered most. I plugged in the solar panels and remembered my friend whos an electrician. Than i had intrusive thoughts of his daughter and sexual intrusive thoughts. I felt so anxious and am having a hard time breathing. I said a prayer and kept working. Then ocd said was i praying for something inappropriate but thats absurd and not true. Then the intrusivr thought was of female erogenous areas. It was just a thought of a female provate lart. It was like the thought of my friends face then his daughters face then the female erogenous part. So ocd says was the intrusive thought of a adult female erogenous part or a minors. Then ocd says i like adult women so did i like the thought of the female private part. Idk what the thought was it was just a female erogneous part that popped in my head. I know im not a pedophile. I know i dont want ocd thoughts. I know the thoughts made me anxious. Then ocd says if it was a intrusive thought of a small female erogenous part its a pocd intrusive thoughts. If it was a thought of a big female erogenous part it is an adults part. Idk what the thought was tbh now my memorys blurred. I just recall having their faces pop in my head then a thought of a female private part and i remember being super anxious panicking and having a hard time breathing from the anxiety. I know this is indication its ocd and anxiety. I dont like these thoughts and dont want them. Im not a pedophile. Im terrified by the thoughts and i know my anxious reaction disproves the ocd intrusive thoughts and doubts. I know who i am. Im a faithful husband and not a pedophile. I dont want these thoughts it’s distracting me from work as im ruminating and writing this. I feel like crying. I dont want sexual intrusive thoughts. I dont want pocd thoughts. Help!

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 19h ago

Experiencing intrusive thoughts like these can be deeply disturbing and provoke intense anxiety, making it hard to function. It's clear these thoughts are unwanted and causing you significant pain, which is characteristic of how OCD operates – creating intrusive doubts that feel real but are contrary to your values. If you’re struggling and need more assistance, remember that help is available. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at NOCD to find out how we can support you. Also here are some helpful resources: https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-becoming-a-pedophile https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-child-sexual-assault-ocd https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/5-taboo-and-very-common-ocd-obsessions/

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 18h ago

@Shawna Ecklind Why does it make me doubt when i clearly am panicking, distressed, have a hard time breathing, sick to my stomach and i recognize its ocd and anxiety yet every time it gets me stuck, doubting, feeling guilty, etc. its debilitating

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 18h ago

@Anonynmous19 - Doubting is one of the key features of OCD. So if it can make you doubt even when experiencing difficult emotions/body sensations it will. There is help on how to learn to deal with the doubt!

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 18h ago

@Shawna Ecklind Thank you for explaining. What about the “what ifs” im stuck ruminating on what the intrusivr thought kf the female erogenous part was whether it was adult or child and ocd bombarding me with doubts and what ifs and saying what if I liked it? I know these are all ocd symptoms. And i know i dont like these thoughts. Me ruminating and panicking and being terrified and sick to my stomach and distressed and beyond uncomfortable are proof against the ocd and what its trying to tell me. I know who i am and i know my reaction to this shows my values since this is ego dystonic. I appreciate your help. I see a therapist but its once a month and it gets hard during the weeks in between sessions

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 18h ago

@Anonynmous19 - That is awesome that you see a therapist already. If you are doing ERP, the gold standard in treating OCD, you can incorporate those skills to manage the "what-if's"

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 18h ago

@Shawna Ecklind Thank you I recall feeling anxious snd panicking. Its afterwards ocd is making me question and doubt and says did i like the thought or what if it was an adult image or child image. Then it says since i like adults like normal people then i wpuldve liked the adult image and then what if t was a childs image. I dont recall i just remember feeling uncomfortable and distressed and anxious

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 17h ago

@Anonynmous19 This friend and his daughter has been a ocd obssessive intrusive thought fir years off and on. I also know i dont even want sexual thoughts of adult woman because im married and loyal to my wife and love her. So when ocd is saying i wiuldve liked an adult female private part image or what if it was a childs erogenous intrusivr thought and i mistakend it for an adults and liked it? I know this is all ego dystonic because im not a pedophile and im not unfaithful to my wife. I also know the “what if you like the thought” is ocd symptom and i know no matter ocd doubting i panicked and was anxious and uncomfortable because all of this is ego dystonic and i dont like any of the intrusive thoughts and dont want any of the intrusive thoughts

tay_may19

Date posted: 15h ago

I work at an elementary school and get intrusive thoughts and images with POCD. You are 100% not alone. I’ve had dreams with intrusive thoughts that have made me debate on going to the hospital. I’ve talked with my sister about these thoughts and she mentioned that a very big possibility* of why we get these scrambled intrusive thoughts that we know are absolutely not true about us is because our brain know’s/stores about what we see as morally wrong and right, then our brain has the knowledge of in this case more private areas of human in general, then you add in something like remembering your friends’ daughter. All of these topics that your brain knows that are in completely different parts of your head suddenly get grabbed by our subconscious to scramble everything together and spit out a completely untrue thought/idea/image to freak you out. I’m not sure if that helps but I know it’s always good to have a good explanation as to why this could be happening!

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 15h ago

@tay_may19 Thank you for explaining. This was helpful. I been praying for understanding and comfort. I am aware its ocd. I tried disregarding. I am not ruminating on it as much as earlier today and the anxiety isnt as intense but ocd still tries to crawl back and make me ruminate, doubt, feel guilt to get me to react. I try to remember how it made me feel (not pleasure or comfort but intense discomfort distress and anxiety. So much that i literally ran away from what i was doing and tried refocusing and praying. Then ocd tries to make me think i felt pleasure or something which i know i didnt. I literally was panicking and couldnt breathe and was in fight or flight mode and i literally took flight and left my workplace where it happened to ground myself. I know ocd comes in as thougjts feelings etc and feels real and tries to get us to doubt and ruminate or feel guilt

Anonymous

Date posted: 4h ago

I’m not a doctor but I’ve dealt with ocd 20 years or more. The number one thing that worked for me was not pushing away the thoughts and not responding to them, ocd takes your biggest fears and manifests them and it gives you an impossible search for certainty that your not strange, you could talk to it for 12 hours straight and not get your answer and if you did it would just give another thought, for me, when I stopped fighting it, it hurt but then the pain wasn’t as severe with those thoughts and once ocd sees they can’t hurt you anymore it leaves and the good part is your rational mind will just start working and you will not need to explain to it why your not weird. Normal people get these exact thoughts, the difference is they don’t react to em like us with ocd, they go and live and forget they even happened

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 37m ago

@Anonymous I had to give my daughter a bath and wanted to help my wife bear the responsibility also read online pocd to not avoid bathing. I told myself I am going to bathe my child because im a good dad. As i bathed her i went to wipe her arms and torso. I was going to get her armpit and arm but with the sponge I wiped her chest erogenous area. Then i got anxious and did a compulsion and said “im sorry”. Then ocd said whyd i wipe there ni shouldve wiped her arm or armpit. Was i doing anything inappropriate. Or ocd said not to wipe there and I did so did i do anything inappropriate or with inappropriate intent. I hate having pocd and living parallel with this voice in my head. I know my intention wasnt inappropriate i even prep talked before and did the compulsion of apologizing after wiping. Now im questioning whyd i wipe there first before her arms and armpit since ocd told me to avoid her chest. Then i worry did i have ocd intrusive thought saying i wanted to wipe there and if i had this thought and i wiped there than it means i acted on the thought. I know i wouldnt do anything inappropriate to my child and i know my intent wasnt wrong.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 37m ago

@Anonymous I remember looking at her torso because i needed to wash it. Then i seen her erogenous area. I got anxious and ocd intrusive thoughts. Then i wioed her. Said sorry and kept bathign her and disregarded the ocd. Ocd says did i have the intrusive thougjt kf wanting to touch their. I know ocd makes you feel like you want to do something bad or want the bad thoughts but i know thats not who I am and i dont want to do any of that thats ego dystonic and its why i said sorry as a compulsion and feel anxiety. I say sorry anytime i have to change her diaper or bathe her. Its a compulsion. Now im worried did i have the ocd thought to touch their erogenous area or ocd feeling to want to and then when i wiped their did i act on the thought? Im feeling so anxious and ruminating. And doubtkng. I dont even know what the intrusive thought was. I use a sponge also as a compulsion so i dont make direct contact with her body. And me doing my compulsive prep talk before is also indication its just ocd thought number one million. I remember having tbe thought i need to wash her torso and arms and when i wiped her chest ocd made me question why i did that first before her armpit or arms. I remember being anxious to wipe her chest and i was going to wile her armpit and arms first to avoid the chest but then i seen her chest and wiped there and thats when ocd attacked ne and is making me question why and doubt my intent and feel guilty. I know its ocd. I dont want to do anything weong to my child. I know my intentions were to help my eife and be a good dad its literally what intold myself beforesince i was anxious to bathe her And i knoe me ruminating and feeling anxious and doubting and this being the same ocd thought a thiusand times later indicate its OCD

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 35m ago

Anonymous

Date posted: 28m ago

It seems to me the best way to get through that is letting the thoughts be, don’t justify yourself to ocd and engage with it at all, trust me you will be anxious at first but once OCD sees that the thought isn’t causing much fear, it’ll leave. It’s crazy because it’s so difficult yet so simple, the goal is not to react or talk to it and to live with uncertainty, when doing that you allow rational thoughts to come on there own, as of right now it’s all irrational. Now a lot of people ease their way in, for example during these situations that occur to you, maybe try not to talk to the obsessive fears, if you have to say “ maybe that was me, maybe it was ocd” I’m not gonna try to figure it out. The constant need to figure out out is exactly what gives it power. Now again, I’m no doctor but I’ve mostly conquered my ocd

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 10m ago

@Anonymous Thats awesome congratulations bro. Thank you for your help

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 19h ago

Ocd is making me ruminate saying since it was a thought of a female part that was the same skin color of my friends daughter and following the thought of my friends daughter then was the fenale part intrusive thought of a childs? Ocd then says what if if it was an adults female part i thought of and im a straight male then its a normal sexual thought any man gets and it means i would like it but its weird it followed after the thought of the girl. Then ocd says since it followed the thought of her and it was a thought of a female part of the same skin color then the ocd thought was about her. Then ocd said did i like a pocd intrusive sexual thought mistaken it for an adult fenale part. I knkw all of this is ego dystonic. Its ocd messing with me. I DONT WANT THESE THOUGHTS. im faithful to my wife. And i know when these thoughts came in I DID NOT LIKE THEM. I panicked. I cluldnt breath. I got up and tried to be active to distract myself. I said a prayer asking God for help. I know ots ocd just trying to make me doubt and ruminate. Please help someone.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 19h ago

I know i felt distresseed and anxious. Shortness of breath. Scaared. I remember thinking indont want this and i need tk just get up and stay busy so i walked away. Now ocd is saying did i like the thoughts or even mistaken it for an adult thought and liked it. I know indont want any of these thoughts. I only want sexual thoughts of my wife. And i dont want pocd thoughts. I know i didnt want these thoughts. My anxiety from it is proof. I know me ruminating and doubting and still feeling anxious and im panicking now is sign its ocd

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 19h ago

I remember getting the thought of my friend and his daughter than the female privaye part and i just remember panicking and being in distress and anxious and literally i stopped working and walked away i was so terrified. Now ocd is hitting me with what if it was adult provate part or pocd intrusive thought. I know this is just ocd and i know its the anxiety disorder and i know i dont want any of this and my anxious reaction is proof of this

tay_may19

Date posted: 15h ago

I’ve definitely had those panic moments when I first started working at the school. Dealing with POCD is truly difficult, but I do like how you told yourself about how the images/ideas made you feel instead, I may steal that tactic!

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 11h ago

@tay_may19 I had to give my daughter a bath and wanted to help my wife bear the responsibility also read online pocd to not avoid bathing. I told myself I am going to bathe my child because im a good dad. As i bathed her i went to wipe her arms and torso. I was going to get her armpit and arm but with the sponge I wiped her chest erogenous area. Then i got anxious and did a compulsion and said “im sorry”. Then ocd said whyd i wipe there ni shouldve wiped her arm or armpit. Was i doing anything inappropriate. Or ocd said not to wipe there and I did so did i do anything inappropriate or with inappropriate intent. I hate having pocd and living parallel with this voice in my head. I know my intention wasnt inappropriate i even prep talked before and did the compulsion of apologizing after wiping. Now im questioning whyd i wipe there first before her arms and armpit since ocd told me to avoid her chest. Then i worry did i have ocd intrusive thought saying i wanted to wipe there and if i had this thought and i wiped there than it means i acted on the thought. I know i wouldnt do anything inappropriate to my child and i know my intent wasnt wrong.

Anonynmous19

Date posted: 11h ago

@tay_may19 I also know it made me feel intense anxiety and ocd symptoms of guilt not any pleasure i was very uncomfortable which a pedophile wouldnt be so i knownits ocd

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 15w ago

Groinal Arousals/Responses Are Driving Me Insane

Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole

POCD

King silly

Date posted: 14w ago

Not seeking reassurance, just prayers

Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before

misereri

Date posted: 13w ago

Urgent: i need yalls opinion

Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?

POCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Pocd 18+

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community