Can’t get past this

I posted about this a couple days ago, about a dog chewing a ball while laying in my lap and it was giving me a physical sensation down there that technically felt good because it was right there. I keep replaying the moment in my head as a compulsion and trying to figure it out and I won’t stop until it feels right. I feel like I would know 100% if I indulged in it and let it feel good so I shouldn’t even be questioning if I did do that bc idk if I did. I remember looking down at the dog and realizing that everytime he bit the ball and moved his forward is when it would feel good for me. And while I was noticing that, I can’t help but think back, was that me just recognizing or allowing it to happen or both??? What does that say about me if I allowed myself to indulge in the feeling.

mbear

Date posted: 16w

Don’t replay it anymore in your mind. Tell yourself you accept it and move on. Trying to figure it out only feeds your fears and ocd. I like to imagine throwing my thoughts into a burning fire and to not give it any more of my time. It’s just ocd.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 16w

@mbear Thank you so much for commenting, I just don’t know how to feel about myself when it goes beyond thoughts and goes into actions. I let myself indulge and and enjoy

JediMJ

Date posted: 16w

Maybe this will help. Maybe it won’t, but here are my thoughts. There is a lot of shame around sexuality. Say a little kid puts a pillow between their legs and moves around and finds that it feels good. That’s normal human behavior—but there are social expectations that we don’t do that in public. (And some religious beliefs that we don’t do that at all, but I digress.) If a parent gets upset with a kid about doing this natural thing, the kid may learn that this good feeling is bad and feel ashamed. Shame can come from a lot of sources. It seems like you’re trying to figure it out to avoid feeling ashamed. But you don’t have to feel ashamed. Your OCD is acting like you didn’t respond fast enough. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Who cares? You’re not going around trying to attract dogs, you know? You’re okay…it really is just OCD. You’re having intrusive thoughts. That happens. Accept the thought, sit with the discomfort and move on. The replaying it is your brain trying to solve a problem that isn’t solvable. You’ve been stuck in this cycle for days. Set yourself free.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 16w

@JediMJ I really appreciate this but what does that say about my character that I focused on the physical feeling and indulged in it? How is it just thoughts and ocd in that moment when it went BEYOND just thoughts? :(

JediMJ

Date posted: 16w

@Anonymousssssss I was hoping my response would help you see that you’re stuck in this loop, but your OCD is just digging its heels in and not letting go. We feel compelled to figure out every thought, feeling, or physical sensation. *That* is the actual problem. You have to stop trying to figure this out and live with the discomfort. You can choose to move forward without having the answers.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 16w

@JediMJ You are helping me I promise and I’m very thankful. I can deal with thoughts I just cannot deal with actions and when I physically choose to make a mistake

JediMJ

Date posted: 15w

@Annoying_OCD I don’t have POCD but I’m sure it shows up the same way as other subtypes…brains spinning out on a topic, trying desperately to find an answer that doesn’t exist. We have to accept the uncertainty and stop the cycle. But I will look for your post and see if I have anything to add. Sending you lots of support (and you too, Anonymousssssss).

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 15w

@Anonymousssssss https://youtu.be/-Ku9uR27D2k?si=VjbGKd_6_kX0KvGa This will definitely be helpful for you. OCD can be more than just thoughts :)

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 15w

https://youtu.be/z8i-Ea7fOHk?si=fchzBVZILgXaig7U and https://youtu.be/hRuHreJQaF0?si=KEdHFtjHKNj-IrhWmuvht might also be helpful

Em2003

Date posted: 25w

ZOCD/Moral OCD please help me

The whole hip movement compulsion thing got worse. My dog was cuddling with me and I started to move my hips. I think I was checking to see if it felt wrong. I basically humped my dog, I feel so much guilt. But I keep doing it and I don’t understand why. Please help

dee012

Date posted: 17w

anyone else? If not pls help

TW// nsfw and 18 up pls i can self pleasure without even realizing it. not like full blown, but it just happens when i dissociate and think about past flings or whenever im bored. just like casual touching myself. sometimes it happens when im scrolling on my phone or when im doing school work. what sucks is sometimes kids will pop up on my phone and for example today i was doing studies on a mental health in children. when i came to, basically becoming fully aware, i was like wtf. because of what was on my screen and what i was researching. it freaked me out really bad and i know it wasn’t with any bad intent it just makes me feel bad if that makes sense. like i dissociate basically and i am doing the touching like on pilot mode if that makes sense so whatever content on my phone or schoolwork isn’t even associated with the act. It just makes me feel like i was doing it to whatever was on my screen which ik I wasn’t bc I would’ve been aware and freaked tf out but I still am freaking out. this has happened before and I just move on bc I know what I was doing and like it wasn’t even a compulsion like “oh am I attracted to this?” Like the compulsions that come with sexual ocd. It was just autopilot dissociative self touching and I just was zoning out while doing my work. idk if this makes sense I probably sound like a monster. I keep having what if thoughts like what if I was doing it to that or what if I am a monster and it’s that bad to the point where I am unaware

xyzwqr

Date posted: 12w

real event weeird shit

18+ so, i just had this memory pop back into my head after suppressing it and now I’m obsessing over it and cant suppress it, it feels so weird that i dont think i can even tell my therapist. so a few years ago, i was high, and laying in bed and my dog was laying in front of my face back to me and i kissed his back like mimicking making out, and dont get me wrong this is not a zocd concern it was not attraction im not worried that i touched him sexually im just really weirded out by that memory like someone gauge how weird and immoral that is for me and like i was not a kid, i was an adult its freaking me out like??? tf i do not know how i manage to suppress shit like this like i didnt think it was weird when i was high and i think i remember waking up spiraling about it and then decided to shut it down bcs i had what felt like bigger ocd shit fish to fry and it just popped back up and im spiraling

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Can’t get past this

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