it’s getting worse for me

i’ve already posted about this before but i keep thinking about it. i was sitting next to a dog and it was laying on its back laying face away from me. i kept getting intrusive thoughts about touching the dog inappropriately. and i was petting the dog to prove to myself that i wouldn’t. i remember i was leaning on the dog. then he kicked me with his back legs three times. i also was rotating my shoulder cause it pops and cracks when i do and i was trying to relieve it. i think i touched the dog and on purpose too, because thoughts were going through my head. after the dog kicked me i sat there for a second just pure panic and i ran to the bathroom, just crying non stop. i dont think i deserve to cry tho. i think my life is a over. the more i try to remember the more scary thoughts of what could’ve happened pop up. i’m just in denial and i want to be sent to a mental hospital.

sanshine

Date posted: 16w

Ur not a bad person. It was intrusive thoughts. And it disturbed you.

Tea and Honey

Date posted: 16w

This is just OCD. That is all it is. This is how OCD works. You can learn to ignore all this. I have had things like this happen to me. It was something about the OCD and me not preventing the baby (who was sitting) from falling forward, etc, etc. The OCD thoughts and urges blend into these little involuntary movements. This is normal. I had been so afraid of flipping God off that I was worried about raising my middle finger. But one day I had an emotional stage of anger along with an urge to raise my finger. I just couldn’t help it; I felt overwhelmed, and I did raise my finger. I felt so bad. But you know what? It all wasn’t real! It was just OCD. It didn’t mean anything! The same is true with you. I want you to take a new perspective on life: If something is OCD, then it is MEANINGLESS and you are going to ignore it and go with your life. This whole thing with the dog is just OCD. Therefore, it is meaningless. Your job now is to Go on with life (even though you may still FEEL upset). Practice moving on (despite the upset feelings). In time, you will feel better. And remember, the more you practice moving on from the OCD, the more you conquer the OCD. You can do this!!! 💙😀

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

Hi there! This is my first post on this platform but your story is what I've been dealing with myself. I had no idea that these thoughts and my obsession to make meaning of it, was OCD. Once I realized it was, there was some freedom in that. I felt less alone because others are also dealing with this. I too have intrusive thoughts about my dog. It's so incredibly difficult to talk to people about this so I'm proud of you for talking about it. Have you started ERP therapy by chance? I'm going on week 4 and I will say it's been intense, but useful and beneficial. When we have these thoughts, our first reaction is to reassure ourselves that we would never do this or never do that. I didn't realize that this was a compulsion until I talked with a professional. I just want you to know that you're not alone and this intrusive thought, specifically, isn't new. That others have this too. You got this!!!

averydayimsh...

Date posted: 16w

@Anonymous i haven’t got therapy for it at all, my moms working on it though. i think i really need it, it’s getting worse dealing with it on my own.

Anonymous

Date posted: 16w

@averydayimshuffling Well, this is the first step! Acknowledging it and talking about it is so important. We don't have to live like this. We are not destined to be miserable. ERP therapy can be scary at first but trust the process. You need to make sure you see an OCD specialist and not just one who does cognitive behavioral therapy. You got this! You're not alone and there is help out there.

thissuckbad

Date posted: 16w

If this was something you really wanted to do you wouldn’t feel so terrible about it , it’s okay

Aquario

Date posted: 23w

this is likely reassurance seeking but-

my panic attacks have been getting worse when the thought of harming someone comes up and today, it reached a high point, i was in the kitchen with my mom, trying to get over my fears of being near and just eat, but when my dog came in and heard me eating and walked in, i got triggered and thought i was one second away from hurting him or mom so i left the kitchen but before i could, i grabbed the scissors and panicked, and tried to get my mom for help but she was occupied, then i was trying to focus enough to put down the scissors but i couldnt and went into panic mode, i couldnt think, i couldnt focus, i slowly inched the scissors towards my mom thinking i might actually stab her in my stressed and panicked statem slowly inching the scissors towards her and scared, then she saw me, simply looked at me and said "what are you gonna do huh?" like she wasnt afraid, and that was enough to snap me out of it and put down the scissors, then i walked back to my room and here i am, trying not to call myself a monster but cant help but keep looking back at that moment, cause i really really felt like i could have...

ocdsuxxx

Date posted: 13w

I’m gunna go to the hospital

Intrusive thoughts are supposed to be unwanted but when I’m mad I’m saying out loud “ I wanna stab them” and I feel rage. That doesn’t feel like ocd anymore I’m stressed and my brain also wants me to cover my dogs nose and suffocate him . I’ve covered it before and got anxiety and I’m scared I acted on an intrusive thought by doing that so I’m just psycho I guess about to snap

Imnew@this

Date posted: 12w

I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore

(21+ ONLY: TRIGGER WARNING) I love my dog. He just turned seven months old yesterday. But sometimes, I get so frustrated. I came home from work and I just wanted to sit down and relax and watch my favorite TV show. But then he started jumping on me, barking, and getting into things he shouldn’t be. On top of that, I was feeling lightheaded because I haven’t been taken Zoloft lately, which is completely my fault and irresponsible of me. My dog got into a laundry basket and tipped it over, spilling all the clothes on the floor and grabbing a pair of socks. I just lost it, at that point. I chased him and yelled at him and as I went to grab the socks from him, I thought about hitting him. I don’t think I did, but I don’t know. Either way, I’m truly disgusted with myself. I hate that that was my first automatic thought. What is wrong with me? I put him in his kennel for time out and I completely just lost it. I started crying and hyperventilating. I feel horrible for feeling sorry for myself when I’m not the one hurting here. I’m truly a disgusting manipulative POS that deserves to be locked away forever

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it’s getting worse for me

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