Firefly girl
- Date posted
- 16w
Rocd or gut
I don’t want to break it off with him so why do I have this feeling in my gut that I need to and that it’s wrong for me
TexasOCD41TexasOCD41
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w
Because its not your gut. i used to talk to my therapist on NOCD about how to know if a feeling was a gut feeling or not since OCD makes EVERYTHING feel like a gut feeling. She said that a real "gut" feeling comes in a calm way. Its something you just know and you experience no distress, no anxiety, no doubt, you just KNOW. That helped me a lot because it made me realize that all those " gut" feelings i had in OCD, were filled with anxiety and panic and intensity and a desperate urge for certainty. If you say you DON''T WANT to break it off... that is enough doubt ( its a LOT of doubt) to prove its not a gut feeling, its an OCD/ROCD thought.
Firefly girlFirefly girl
- Date posted
- 15w
@TexasOCD41 But what is it possible that I have a gut feeling but my ocd is making me think it’s the wrong choice like I genuinely am so confused and it’s terrible bc I just want to make a decision and stick to it
#Lexiriri#Lexiriri
- Date posted
- 15w
@TexasOCD41 Exactly this! If it’s your OCD or anxiety it comes from a place of fear, a place of what if, a place of doubting. If it was actually a gut feeling there would be no doubt, because it comes from a place of knowing. If it’s a gut feeling it’s something that you’re not sure why or how you know, but you just know it. This isn’t your intuition talking saying something is wrong, it’s your OCD.
Firefly girlFirefly girl
- Date posted
- 15w
@#Lexiriri But how do I know if I’m staying out of fear and just afraid to let go?
#Lexiriri#Lexiriri
- Date posted
- 15w
@Chronicoverthinker Because the what if, the how do I know that you just asked me. Like I said a gut feeling is just a sense of knowing, you know it 100%. If it was your intuition or your gut there would be no doubt. You are coming from a place of doubt, you have said you don’t want this, and you are questioning it to a large degree. Even if you were in a situation where you were done but afraid to let go, you would still feel like your done like you don’t want this anymore but maybe your scared to actually follow through on it. And you’ve clearly stated that you still want to be in a relationship with your partner. This is anxiety, this is OCD. Your OCD found something you care about and now it’s picking on it.
Firefly girlFirefly girl
- Date posted
- 15w
@#Lexiriri Idk why it’s so hard for me to believe that I want it and that I’m not just staying out of fear. Bc I consistently am doubting it excessively that it keeps me from enjoying it which makes me think I am bored in the relationship and am just scared of the uncertainty of leaving
#Lexiriri#Lexiriri
- Date posted
- 15w
@Chronicoverthinker Because you have OCD it’s literally nicknamed the doubting disease dude, that’s what it does.
TexasOCD41TexasOCD41
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
@Chronicoverthinker - Then its not a gut feeling. I think you meant to type " but what if" and we all know " what if" is the OCD. Here is the thing. If you make a decision based off what your OCD is demanding, then once you make it, its not actually your decision, its a compulsion to satisfy the OCD. then the OCD will flip to " what if i made a mistake breaking up with him, what if it WAS OCD and i just made the biggest mistake?" When OCD is demanding a decision, you deny it that. you SIT in your current situation. Iv had ROCD. i thought breaking up was the right option, i even tried it.... fast forward. I'm not married to the man OCD ALMOST stole from me. Make the decision to STAY in the relationship, you already said that's what you want. Anything else outside of that is OCD.
TexasOCD41TexasOCD41
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 15w
@Chronicoverthinker - Becuase of the anxiety. in a normal situation, IF you actually wanted to break up.. you would have a little bit of fear, but it would not be the perdominatnet emotion. IT would be secondary to the confidence that leaving is the right option for you. You are using emotional reasoning which is a cognitive distortion ( fancy words for a flawed way of thinking) you are leaning on your emotions to indicate what decision you should make. that is NEVER the right decision. If everyone lived by how they felt.. lord, i personally would never get up and go to work in the morning, id never clean my house, id never pay my bills, because i don't FEEL like doing any of that, but i KNOW i have to. Feelings are NOT FACTS. OCD give false feelings that feel 100% real. if they were easily decernible from logical feelings, OCD wouldn't even exist, or it wouldn't be classified as one of the top 10 most distressing disease by the World Health Orginization.
LikeAnOnionLikeAnOnion
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w
Gut feeling is not separate from OCD when you have OCD, because it’s impossible to tell the difference because OCD makes you always have a bad gut feeling
Firefly girlFirefly girl
- Date posted
- 15w
@LikeAnOnion One minute I feel like my gut is telling me to stay and the next I feel like it’s telling me to leave. It’s exhausting
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Anonymous
- Date posted
- 24w
Rocd -feeling like relief would be to breakup
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Firefly girl
- Date posted
- 22w
Rocd and Soocd
Every morning I wake up im always fixating on something and texting chat gpt, whether thats my relationship or my sexuality. I try so hard to resist it but I just can’t handle the uncertainty or the idea of hurting him or leading him on. We aren’t even official because in the past my rocd caused an issue between us where it led to him breaking up with me so now I have a fear of his intentions being ingenuine, especially because friends and family have called him a love bomber, saying he used me for attention, and narcissistic. This takes over me because I feel like I will never be able to be happy with him or trust myself or the relationship because of what other people say. I am very content on my own and single, this is the first relationship where i have experienced debilitating anxiety and doubt about the legitimacy of both of our feelings to the point where I cannot function. I’m trying so hard to not feed into it and not give it energy but I just hate the idea of leading him on or being inauthentic to what I truly want. My current therapist who I only see a couple times a month doesn’t think I have ocd, which makes me spiral and think I should end it with him, especially because I always hear things like “The right relationship will add to your life” and I feel the opposite is happening not directly because of him but because my brain takes over and paralyzes me with indecision about if i should be with him or not. I know that his intentions are genuine, but I hate that everyone is so cynical and assumes they’re not just because my rocd and his emotional baggage created a messy situation. From the moment i met him I convinced myself it was too good to be true and my therapist even said I was self-sabatoging. But i hate not knowing if it is rocd and my insurance doesn’t cover NOCD. He is so patient with me and supportive but I keep hearing things like “the honeymoon stage is supposed to last 3 months” and “it shouldn’t be this hard with the right person” “you’re not good for each other” and my friends tell me i didnt do anything wrong etc bc he did at first say my ocd didnt affect him when in reality that led to him ending it initially. But he has been more upfront with his emotions but then my mom and people will say “more to come” “there’s so much more out there” and its just so isolating not having that support and wondering if im too young to settle and if I’m just an idiot convincing myself I have rocd when really i just don’t want to be with him/it is a toxic relationship. When in reality the only reason it is toxic is because i am so sporadic about whether or not I want him in my life because of my distrust in myself and my decisions. I love him but I know love isn’t always enough and I get existential fixating on what’s “meant to be” and what’s “supposed to happen” its like this debilitating urge to control everything and make everything go perfectly how it is supposed to go. Please help i just want to make the right decision and stop paralyzing myself with doubt
Firefly girl
- Date posted
- 21w
Rocd
I’m so confused if the breakup was the right decision I felt so confident about it in the moment but now I feel the opposite I don’t understand how my emotions can switch up on me this much
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