I keep seeing random people that are "more" attractive than my gf and it just makes me question everything. I will then go through photos of my gf to validate my relationship. This just sucks. Maybe I am with the wrong person?
So I should not given you any reassurance because that is what ocd loves , but looks are not everything . If it’s just about Looks go buy a nice painting . Now as some thing that could be said about that thought is “maybe i am with wrong person , maybe I’m not or maybe I am with the wrong person but she will do for now “
@Anonymous Very true and wise words 🙏🏼
Honestly you’re never going to know and I have had ROCD with the right and wrong partner. You just got to live and deal with the anxiety with people who know how to help with it. You are going to want to be with attractive people, you’re gonna want an urge to go check them out multiple times, you’re gonna look at people in a normal attractive way and you are going to look up people. But until you start to realise that it is normal to do this and you canmt help who you are attracted to. Until you just rip the bandaid off and know it is comepletly normal even to want and I mean honestly want another person. Which happens even with normal people. You’ll always resist. I was like you and still am. But I just really enjoy the attractiveness of others now and accept they are WAY attractive to my partner. Just accept it
So did you stop resisting and go to the more attractive person? Sorry maybe I'm reading the ending of your response wrong.
@Anonymous I'm still with my partner and I actually had a really strong week with my partner and those thoughts were barely there. I know it'll probably happen again though
@Anonymous I do, and I find nothings happens. A lot of fear but also curiosity and attraction. But I always find myself controlling myself not to put of respect. But you wanna know what else I learnt. We’re humans we gonna do that. How many people do it and not think of it? We can to
@Anonymous I’ve got so much attraction to other women it’s fine. I even like other women over my partner
@Anonymous Love is a choice. You CHOOSE to love them even when you are lying to yourself. That is love choosing when your inner truth or intuition is saying no. Love is a choice, it isnmt a feeling. There are sparks of feelings nd that. But really! Love is like 80% shit and 20% good. Hahahaha
@vincenzokeez That's hilarious lol but true. Doesn't help that my brother said "o I never found anyone else attractive when I was with my partner." I told him he is very much an outlier lol
@Anonymous Yeah it’s a trigger for us to make us go. “Oh god and doubt ourselves” but no. That is a load of BS
@Anonymous I've heard this before too and every long lasting couple I've heard calls BS tbh (25+ years of marriage) some older women specifically in their 70s that I've talked with about their knowledge on relationships said flat out they would check out people all the time and they would catch their husbands and laugh because like @vincenzokeez says they choose their partner at the end of the day.
I was on a walk outside and I saw a guy also on a walk and thought he seemed cool/attractive. Then I got super anxious and started wondering if he would be a better match for me than my boyfriend who doesn’t go on walks or do outdoor activities frequently. Is this rocd or is this me deep down doubting if he’s the right guy for me/not wanting to be with him? I really can’t tell and it’s causing me a lot of distress bc I do love him, but I know you can love someone and they can still be the wrong person for you or not the right fit long term and I’m trying to distinguish if I’m in denial of that or if it’s just my anxiety attacking my relationship with him. Any advice?
Is this rocd??? I can’t stop worrying whether this is how I should feel in a relationship. For 5 years prior I never worried about this stuff. But now I’m just so anxious. I find myself looking at him checking to see if I find him attractive. And then when I look at him and dont feel anything I worry this means something … so overthinking I hate it .
I feel guilty writing this but I was wondering does anyone’s ROCD make them feel like they’re settling? I feel ill when my thoughts start running about that and I always seek reassurance to make sure I still love my partner. It’s so stressful especially when I acknowledge other people are good looking my brain jumps to the idea that I want to be with them which drives me insane sometimes. I even had to avoid a coworker at my old job because my OCD convinced me that I was in love with him even though we were both in active relationships and only at platonic discussions. I always had to review to make sure I said nothing wrong and I feel like I am doing the same with a friend currently. I’m not sure what to do…
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