For Anony!

@sofiaraaah7 I’m glad I was able to help! I’m always here if you need to talk!

@sofiaraaah7 I'm SO glad it could help you too. These OCD Conquerers are truly AMAZING!

@Anony1314 Do you see yourself as an emotionally reliant person? I know that for me, the OCD loved to attack my personal feelings, because I considered myself to be an extremely passionate person! If it can’t reach you through reason, it’ll reach you through the irrational! Feeling feelings that don’t align with your beliefs or morals! It feels scarily real, I know. But that’s how it gets you to perform compulsions. I remember this one scenario, a whiiile back.. I was at a clinic with children all around, and all of a sudden, my heart started pounding and my brain put these horrible images of me doing something unforgivable. So I did the only thing I felt like I could do, I ran away. Avoided it. And you know what? I performed a compulsion. OCD is tricky, and it’ll pull the dirtiest tricks in the book to make you do a compulsion! Just like how it made me feel like I was on the verge of doing something horrible, it made you feel like you WERE your thoughts and encouraged you to seek evidence to solidify that belief. The emotions feel so real, so overwhelming, and it blinds us to the fact that we end up performing compulsions as a result of it! OCD is smart, but we’re smarter. The sooner we sit with that uncertainty and accept those horrible feeling thoughts and whatnot, the sooner we realize that it all just… starts to go away!

@Julian2006 You know what? I appreciate you SO much. So much for sticking around to answer all my thousand questions!! But it just didn't feel like a compulsion; it's just awful!

@Anony1314 No problem! OCD is the very embodiment of awfulness! We just have to sit here and face the uncertainty! You didn’t hurt anyone. You’re only hurting yourself! So don’t be harsh on yourself, your kid needs their mama! Despite how horrible you might feel, you’re a good mom for looking out for them. You’ll feel awful for a while, but sooner or later, it’ll go away! OCD only has as much power as you give it!

@Julian2006 Thank you so much friend. You honestly 100% believe it's ocd? It just didn't feel like a compulsion in the moment you know? And someone commented on my other post and it kind of triggered me when they said they can't tell me if it's a compulsion or not because they are not a therapist etc.

@Julian2006 And sorry for all the comments on this! I hope I'm not bothering you friend

@Anony1314 Don’t worry! OCD tends to trick the text a bit! They probably meant it as in “they can’t offer you that certainty, because they aren’t licensed to help with this stuff”. Remember! We’re technically not supposed to be giving certainty for each other, but I’m doing it here because it looks like you really need it to hold you down for a little bit! I 100% believe it is OCD. Trust me, I have a huge sensitivity towards predators. I get really freaked out if I genuinely believe something is predatory. You didn’t give me any alarm bells at all, it’s just OCD! Sorry for the late response!

@Anony1314 You’re not! I enjoy talking!

@Julian2006 I'm so sorry you went through what you did too friend. Thank you for responding. You just being here for me means more than you know. OCD is the worst

@Anony1314 No problem! And thank you for being vocal about your issues, it brings me a sense of community knowing I can help in some way! I’m glad I could help 💜

@Julian2006 Thank you thank you thank you again! You're amazing!! And yes it's so good to know we are NOT alone! ❤️

@Julian2006 I'm struggling today. Idk why! But it's just hard for me to believe that the episode was OCD. I'm having a hard time

@Anony1314 You and me both! The last few days have been rough for me too! But hey, all that uncertainty and doubt are tell tale signs of OCD! We just have to keep enduring through these moments of fear and paranoia, and eventually, we’ll get out on the other side and think “huh, I can’t believe I used to think I was this kind of person!” It’ll all pass! It just takes time, and a whole lotta patience!

@Julian2006 Im so sorry you're struggling too friend!! I just don't feel like it's OCD. Ugh why do I feel like a monster?

@Julian2006 Why can I not get over this episode? I feel like my guilt proves it's not my OCD You know?

@Anony1314 If it helps, I’m still ruminating over my episode! OCD will barrage you with all sorts of feelings! My main feelings I’ve noticed that I feel during OCD flareups is guilt, anger, and gratefulness (for my friends who understand me!) Flareups can last for ages! And sometimes, you still feel some guilt even when you aren’t in a flareup! OCD is just something we have to learn to live with and manage, same as a physical disability and whatnot! It’ll get easier and better, but yeah.. the process is painful.. but just don’t forget! It’s the doubting disorder! You’re doubting yourself now!

@Julian2006 Thanks friend. Thank you! Do you honestly believe it's my OCD? This isn't a bad thing right?

@Anony1314 I just want to remind you that you’re reassurance seeking! But I understand it’s really hard right now, so I’ll tell you straight up. Yes, this is your OCD. It’s unfortunate, but it is your OCD! You aren’t a bad person, I see you as the farthest thing from that! You’re going through all this effort and stress just to make sure you’re the right person to raise your child, which you are! We just have to practice that uncertainty!

@Julian2006 THANK YOU!! I'm struggling so bad right now because I keep worrying that someone is going to take me away from my child. I really am. I don't want her to be taken from me. If you knew me, you'd know she's my entire world. This moment has taken so much from me because in the moment it felt more real and wanted than you could probably even realize, and I have yet to understand what overcame me in that moment to make me such a terrible person. I am sorry for reassurance seeking though. I'm just struggling

@Anony1314 Don’t apologize! You’re not a terrible person and you shouldn’t feel sorry for seeking support in such a scary time! She’s not gonna be taken away with you, OCD (POCD as well!) is recognized as a real and troubling disorder, you won’t be condemned over a small moment of vulnerability! It’s just your mind making it worse than it is! You’re okay, the dread and overthinking will pass soon enough!

@Julian2006 Thank you friend. Thank you for letting me vent. Was it really a small moment when I moved my elbow due to the thought of causing another feeling/ doing something more? Thank you!!

@Anony1314 It is a small moment! It’s evidence seeking! You had that intrusive urge just to check if you were really like that, which you’re not, clearly, or you wouldn’t be so distraught!

@Julian2006 It didn't feel like I was checking to just see if I was really like that. The thoughts didn't come that way friend. The distraught comes from fear of consequences of losing my child too! It's so scary. I just want to be NORMAL

@Julian2006 I'm sorry friend

@Anony1314 It’s terrifying, petrifying even.. but you’re a good person, despite all of that. Nothing anyone can say will convince you that fully, which is why we have to sit with that uncertainty! It doesn’t matter where the stress and fear comes from, you still feel it! A monster wouldn’t! You’re okay, it’ll be a rough few days, but you’ll be okay!

@Julian2006 THANK YOU!! God bless you sweet friend. I feel like we'd be good friends if we knew each other in real life. I love the support I get on here

@Anony1314 I’m sure we would too! Bless you too! I hope things get better from here on! I’m glad you were able to find the support you needed here!

@Julian2006 Me too friend. You have been nothing but short of amazing! I really pray so many blessings over you friend. Hopefully we can somehow keep in touch on here

@Anony1314 I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for your posts! I’ll follow ya so I can see them first whenever you make one! We’re in this together!

@Anony1314 No worries! Trust me, this conversation is helping me too! I love sharing experiences