I’m scared I keep thinking this over and over that I’m gunna hire a hitman on my brother what if I do like I’m a bad person how can I be normal with him this is probably my worst harm thought and it feels like I truly will do it I’m just “ holding back” :(
I used to have that exact same Harm Ocd thought too! 😅 If you’re a “bad person” for it then so am I haha 😆 Jk. Neither of us are bad, it’s just a medical symptom of this disorder How OCD works is that it feeds us even more harm thoughts when we pay so much attention to them. The behaviors that are contributing to this is that it’s been a couple weeks that you keep confessing every new harm thought and ruminating and seeking reassurance on them. These are all compulsions and they’re opposite of how you treat OCD. By doing these compulsions you accidentally keep making these thoughts stronger and more frequent because you give them so much attention and meaning. That’s how OCD is keeping you stuck in misery. I know Ocd makes it seem like compulsions are productive, but they are not :( They do more damage to you
@OneDayAtATimee 💜 thanks girl ! I’m glad u got past this thought it’s really hard for me , even now my brain says stab my brother cus he’s ignoring me it’s so so much to handle :(
@ocdsuxxx Yup what helps me is trying to view these thoughts as just another medical symptom 👍 It’s expected that they will come since you have Harm Ocd. And when you are angry- it often feels scarier or more real but it’s not. How I got over Harm Ocd is that I stopped compulsing about my thoughts and therefore, those thoughts started not to bother as much and they came very rarely. Also, the content of you harm thoughts don’t matter- they are still OCD in a different package :) So whether you get a thought about stabbing, shooting, punching, hiring a hitman, etc. - none of the variations matter. You handle them the same way (trying to resist compulsing). But since I’ve been through this before- I can sadly promise anyone with Ocd that if they keep compulsing- they will never recover and they will be stuck. I know it’s terrifying but you have to at least try ❤️🩹 Just try resisting for 1 day as a start. Then 2 days then 3 days. Try to see how long you can go. Fight for your internal peace back and see an ERP specialist if you can, here at NOCD
@OneDayAtATimee I will try I just feel like I can’t control myself like this compulsion to put my hand over my dogs nose I keep doing it and my brain tells me to do it longer I was told it waschecking our testing compulsion but I think I’m acting on thoughts which doesn’t feel like ocd :( idk it’s hell I wish to be free of it like u 💜 thank u for helping
@ocdsuxxx Understandable :) Are you planning on seeing an ERP therapist here?
@OneDayAtATimee I want to idk if I can afford it right now
@ocdsuxxx - Totally understandable! It's difficult when finances are a barrier. I've been dealing with that too. All we can do is try to resist compulsions in the meantime :) Some people even do ERP on their own when they can't afford it. Just have to be careful not to overload yourself with anxiety at the start by doing exposures that are too difficult
@OneDayAtATimee This hitman thought is really bothering me like I’ll act on it I feel so depressed like I can’t connect with my brother how did u get past it 🥲 feeling really consumed
@ocdsuxxx Yeah totally understandable that it would bother you so much! Here’s how I got past it: 1. Researching about Harm Ocd- You and I are not special with having these harm thoughts 😄 There are millions of ppl with Harm Ocd. Ocd is a mental illness and one of the symptoms is obsessive thoughts so I learned to exoect that Ocd is gonna hammer me with these intrusive harm thoughts all day. View them as spam emails. But when you act surprised and think “why am I having this thought, what does it mean about me, I just got this new thought about knives when before it was about guns so why did it change to knives, I’m angry so am I more likely to cause harm, oh no now the thought is about my dad and not only my brother, yada yada”- this is where Ocd keeps us stuck because we assign meaning to every new thought when the content is irrelevant. It’s just the same Ocd tricking you into compulsing 😄 Also, Ocd is Ego-dystonic - it is the opposite of your values. I love my mom so Ocd gave me terrible harm thoughts and insulting about my mother. You love your brother so Ocd is gonna give you those same harm thoughts about him 2. I got help as soon as I could using ERP therapy. I stopped seeking reassurance on these posts, I tried my best to stop ruminating, I stopped confessing every new thought I had, etc. When you stop compulsing- your brain learns that these thoughts are not as much of a threat as it thought and so your brain sends you less thoughts and less anxiety chemical showers. I basically got out of this through changing my behaviors. Ocd is not a logical disorder so you can’t argue your way out of the thoughts. Ocd will ALWAYS try to find a new way to get us to compulse. Resist 🙏
@OneDayAtATimee I’m trying I just feel this guilt :( like I have to tell my brother like I’m a fraud and bad person
@ocdsuxxx Oh yes those are other symptoms! ❤️🩹 Intrusive guilt and confessing compulsions. I’ve had those too. You’re not a bad person for having OCD. I have the same harm thoughts as you. Am I a bad person for them? If no, give yourself the same compassion you give to me :)
@OneDayAtATimee I just feel crazy :( it sucks im trying to watch TikTok’s to help
I worry people might get the wrong idea when I share this but I must post it because I’m scared so basically this is gonna sound weird but I have always sorta been a violent kid but in a normal way if that makes sense like if someone tris over I would find the ridiculously funny but what kinda confuses me is when loved ones hurt themselves I laugh it’s not like I’m putting it on idk I just randomly laugh and i find funny please don’t think I’m a bad person because I’m really not and I’m scared abt this but that’s not the point of this story so I will get to the pint now so basically I was walking upstairs and I hit my head on the door and my mum laughed at me and I said “its not funny I hit my head” and she said something else that made me angry I can’t remember and then I started to charge at her like I was gonna hit her or something and it scared me cuz I wanted to push her or something ( not harmful just like as a back off kinda thing) which I know it’s horrible writing it out but then while I had that urge to push it her or something I also got a groinal so then OCD was like ”you were gonna s3xualy attack just then and you liked it” and now I’m to scared to go near her just in case it happens again cuz I’ve been in a spiral for days now, again please don’t tell me I’m a bad person cuz I already feel like that cuz writing it out it sounds worse then it is irl im sorry if this was triggering and please reply and tell me your thoughts on this.
Im sleeping over my boys house and im having bad thoughts to hurt him and it’s like I can see myself acting on it. I never want to hurt anyone… I hope someone can comment or give me advice as I lie in bed watching crime documentary. It messes with my OCD creates false fantasies
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
