Help please

I was trying to sleep in an aunt house and I’m suffering from nightmares or when I take naps or sleep I dream horrible things, and I took a little nap and I was about to start having a nightmare and I woke up. There’s a person that lives here and he’s not even here but I was about to have a dream with him it’s so scary he’s not even my family member or anything. And like it’s a delicate topic. But it’s the feeling that I can’t even sleep sometimes without dreaming this things that are so scary . And the groinal responses are about to kill me ! This is truly destroying my life I don’t know what to do I don’t want to be like this but I’m too tired to stay awake and too tired to sleep

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 12d ago

Let it happen. You have about as much control over dreams as you do over thoughts, basically none. I know it’s scary, but you’re not supposed to avoid thoughts or dreams. Most dreams are just nonsense or your brain processing stress. Groinals don’t mean anything either. They’re usually caused by anxiety or just from focusing on them too much. You’re not in control of this, so try not to give it more power by avoiding sleep. That’s only going to leave you exhausted and more stressed, which might make everything feel worse. Just try to sleep like you normally would, girl. You’ve got this.

marzipan

Date posted: 12d ago

Hey hun! I’m so sorry you’re going through this for starters. Firstly you are NOT alone! I suffer from super realistic dreams especially from Zoloft,that make me feel gross or guilty too. At the peak of my ocd I felt so defeated because I couldn’t even find rest from my thoughts when I slept. And I woke up feeling so heavy and guilty. But something that helped me and still helps me to tell myself some science behind dreams. Your brain is constantly collecting information and remembering names, places, and faces. It’s even collecting the data of all the thoughts you’ve been playing and replaying in your brain. So at the end of the night when you’re sleeping all of that data is being mixed today in a giant jumble. You are not in control of your subconscious or dreams. You aren’t a bad person no matter how insane your dreams are or feel.

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 12d ago

Thank you 💗💗 I’m just so scared I have the image of that person in my mind now. It’s so exhausting I wish there was a button to push it and forget about all of this.

marzipan

Date posted: 10d ago

@Vagogogo Try to separate reality from the dream, I know that is easier said than done but maybe say it to yourself “that was a made up dream and I know the reality is….”

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 12d ago

I think I’m evil and a bad person

marzipan

Date posted: 10d ago

@Vagogogo I promise you, you are not bad or evil hun. People who are bad and evil don’t worry if they are and couldn’t care less.

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 12d ago

I have never done such things but in scared that’s what’s left to destroy my whole life

My OCD Academia

Date posted: 18w ago

Groinal Arousals/Responses Are Driving Me Insane

Every time I go to bed late and I’m falling asleep, I suddenly get an intrusive thought of a child’s face and my groinal area always responds to it. It’s such an uncomfortable experience. I am way too tired to try and freak out so I end up falling asleep. The next morning I’m always trying to figure out whether I had the groinal response first or after the thought. I start giving OCD power but it feels like If I let it go, then I’m in denial or whatever. I don’t want to ever do anything sexual with a child. I don’t even feel comfortable talking platonically with people who are 17, much less a child. My therapist says that I have a deep rooted fear that I’m this horrible person and that OCD loves to feed off of it. When you get a groinal response, it makes the thought that much more real. I never want these things to happen. I want to only be into adults. It’s so discomforting and stressful. Especially since I’m hyper checking how anxious I am, and if I find I didn’t really have much anxiety, then I’m like “well if I didn’t have anxiety, what does this mean?” And more questions occur til I end up in a rabbit hole

POCD

malolin_21

Date posted: 12w ago

I feel anxious

I’m on my period and o think my ocd feels a little worse today… I feel anxious and like something bad is about to happen, like I can’t move or talk cause I’ll freak out or snap and do something. Also I had a gronial response about an SA topic and I feel horrible, I’ve noticed that I do have these gronials as if I’m actually into that but idk if it can happen that you have the gronial and think “oh I’m horny, not about this but I am” is that possible? Idk how to say it… also I think I just want reassurance but I’m also scared…

Lulu~

Date posted: 27d ago

False memories + real events (TW: POCD)

Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT

POCD

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