Worried of cheating

For about a month now I’ve been really obsessed with the idea that my girlfriend has feelings for this guy we know if he has feelings for her. We’ve only known him for about a month and we’re not that close to him. The stuff that makes me worried is completely normal for friends to do or are things that aren’t real. . They respond to each other on group chats . They hangout in groups when I’m not there . She finds him funny and smiles when she’s around him . I just have a bad feeling It’s become such a thing in my mind and it’s deteriorating our relationship. Every time I see him and her talk I feel mad and sick and anxious. And now I’m starting to hate him. I feel like I’m being so unfair because she hasn’t actually done anything, and I keep accusing her and treating her like she has. She says she feels like all I see is the worst in her and like she’s a bad person. I’ve brought this up to her many times and every time she tells me she would never cheat on me and that he’s some random guy and that she doesn’t want him she wants me. I just can’t get the idea out of my head, I can’t stop unconsciously looking for signs of romantic feelings between them. I analyse her body language or how she looks at him, I check if there online at the same time to see if their texting or something. It’s really bad. It’s gotten to the point where it’s not about the idea that they have feeings anymore it’s more just I want to get the idea out my head. I want to stop seeing this. Because she would have said something by now. And I know this is coming from a place of fear and insecurity about myself and the way she feels about me, because he’s no different to any of her other friends I just chose him to be the one I worry about. I want to get past this because our relationship needs to move past this and I want to be able to enjoy the time I spend with my friends instead of relating it to this and the idea of hanging out in this group with her where he is, and if causing instant anxiety. She’s not like this, she’s a good person. It’s not necessarily the idea she’ll actually cheat it’s the idea she’ll develop feeling or he will and will make her catch feelings too. It’s all just a “bad feeling” I have and an obsession with this idea. I can’t stand to be around them in a group cuz all I can see is that “she’s in love with him” or “he would make her or does make her happier”

Gato0z

Date posted: 14w

I worry about this as well, you aren’t alone. I think the best course of action is communication and trust, if she hasn’t given you a reason not to trust her then don’t dwell on it.

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 14w

You aren’t alone. I have been stuck in the place of hyper-analyzing the interaction of a SO and someone else for signs of attraction. It’s awful. It’s something you can work through in ERP. You’ll slowly realize that you don’t have control of those interactions, and that people can interact in non-sexual ways. It’s uncomfortable at first but will get easier! Take cues from your relationship directly—not the cues that OCD “wants” you to see (it just wants you to see reasons to be scared).

Itwillallwor...

Date posted: 14w

@Anonymous Thank you a lot. I’m just perpetually scared I’ve got a whole idea of it in my head it makes me sick to my stomach

Mariabae

Date posted: 24w

help.

I have a huge problem, and I don’t know how to stop overthinking it. For context, my boyfriend is not the type to jump to conclusions like “Oh, that girl looked at me, she must like me.” He’s always realistic and doesn’t assume things without reason. Lately, I’ve lost most of my friends, and now the only person I have besides my boyfriend is my best friend of five years. We’ve been through everything together—friendship breakups, different social circles—and in the end, it’s always been the two of us. Right now, it’s just me, her, and my boyfriend in our little friend group, and we all get along well. We even have plans to go to a festival together this summer. But this past Friday, my boyfriend told me something that completely threw me off. He said that he doesn’t want to make assumptions, but it seems like my best friend might be looking at him in a certain way. He wasn’t saying it’s 100% true, just that he noticed something. The problem is, I already had this intrusive thought before—“What if she likes him?”—and now that he mentioned it, it’s making me spiral even more. I feel like I’m acting weird around her now, and I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying her in my own mind by even considering this idea, because I know she loves me and would never do something like that. It’s completely absurd, yet I can’t stop thinking about it. To make things even more complicated, my 18th birthday is coming up in two months. My plan was to go on a small trip with both my boyfriend and my best friend, but when I mentioned it to my dad, he shut it down immediately and said, “You don’t have to take her everywhere.” And now, I feel stuck. I don’t know how to tell her that I might just want to go with my boyfriend without making her feel left out or hurting her feelings. But at the same time, this is a huge milestone in my life, and of course, I want my best friend there. I hate that these intrusive thoughts are making me question everything—“What if she likes him? What if she ends up liking him?” My mom recently told me a story about a woman whose best friend stole her husband, and now my brain won’t let it go. I’m dreading the idea of us all being in the same hotel room this summer for the festival. It’s like my mind is preparing for something bad to happen, even though nothing has actually happened. I don’t want to think this way. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable around her. How do I stop these thoughts from ruining everything?

Mazy420

Date posted: 23w

Advice on this situation 😭

I’m at a loss about what to do. I’ve been with my partner for about a year. I’ve wanted to be with him for 3 years and now I finally have him, I got out of a really toxic 11 year relationship about 4 years ago so I’ve had plenty of time to heal, things where going so great at first in our relationship and I’m still very much happy with him, I love him more than anything, but the past 5 6 months I’ve been having a constant fear that he’s gonna cheat or watch 🌽behind my back any chance he gets , I know that’s a touchy subject for some, but me personally it just makes me feel that I’m not attractive enough,or feel like I’m not good enough, I’ve never found evidence of cheating, and I’ve found 🌽 in his history once but I told him how I felt and he told me he understood how I felt and wouldn’t do it again,and I know the constant asking everyday and needing for reassurance with it is putting a tear in our relationship, I just want to fix it. Does anyone have any advice on how to redirect my brain whenever I start overthinking about it when I’m not around him? It just puts so much stress on me when I’m not around him cause I’m just constantly in my head about it.

Relationship OCD

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

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