This broke something open in my brain

I used to tell myself, “I had no choice, the OCD made me do it.” But I read something recently that flipped that whole belief on its head. It's an article called "Choice" by Dr. Steven Phillipson (he coined the term "Pure O") In the article, he pointed out that even when we give in to a compulsion, that’s still us making a choice. So, when that happens, it’s not about blaming myself, it’s about reclaiming power. Because if I chose to check today, I can choose to sit with it tomorrow. That shift from “OCD is stronger than me” to “I’m still in the driver’s seat” was as eye-opener. So I just wanted to share in case anyone else needed that today. Remember, every moment in recovery is a choice. Even when it sucks. Even when it’s hard.

Anony1314

Date posted: 20w

So me giving into a compulsion is still me making that choice? For instance, I gave into a compulsion to move my elbow to touch my child's groin because my mind told me I was already a horrible person and what's more. It caused me major anxiety etc. and still does. It's a long story, but I was told it was my OCD and a compulsion. But that was me making that manic choice not my OCD that manipulated my mind? And sorry for asking you this! Just wanted clarification.

hs91234

Date posted: 20w

What you're describing is absolutely a compulsion, and Dr. Phillipson's point isn't about blame but about recognition of agency. Even when compulsions feel nearly automatic or "manic" as you described, understanding that there's still choice involved (however compromised by anxiety) is what gives us power in recovery. The OCD creates unbearable anxiety and terrible thoughts, but recognizing our response as a choice, even when it feels impossible not to perform it, is the first step in reclaiming control. When I first read the article, I felt defensive too, like, "you don't understand how STRONG this urge is!" But what changed everything for me was realizing that OCD can make the need to do compulsions feel absolutely mandatory while still technically being a choice, just one made under extreme distress. That said, recognizing this helped me gradually build agency back.

Nica

Date posted: 20w

So true! It is a choice to give into your OCD and do compulsions. That’s a hard pill to swallow and I pushed back on it too for a while, but what did giving into OCD actually do for me? Absolutely NOTHING good.

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