Ok. Rocd with some actual problems mixed in. I need to vent because I'm about to explode on my boyfriend. He introduced me to some of his friends and they didn't make a great impression on me. They were rude and made me really uncomfortable. I told him, but he's still really pushing me to hang out with them. Either I never really knew him or he's a completely different person around them, but it makes me really anxious. He used to be different, but he's changing and becoming kind of self absorbed. I'm a really sentimental person and the little things mean a lot to me. I've kept the birthday card he gave me because I felt that the message inside was really special. I gave him a birthday card and put a lot of heart into picking out and writing something that I felt was special too about a month back. I went to his house and I saw the card on the ground outside. I ignored him most of car ride home because I feel unloved, but then I just let it go. Everything always means more to me than it does him. I feel like he just uses me for sex, but I know that's not true. Idk maybe it is. I want to scream at him and cry, and curl up in a ball but I've just kept my mouth shut and talked to him like normal today because I'm a fucking mentally deficient pushover. I'm so tired. I can't balance everything. I'm falling apart. It's no wonder that he doesn't like me I can't do anything for myself anymore. I used to be confident. I don't want to come off as "crazy". How do I fix this before it gets blown way out of proportion. I'm not breaking up with him at the moment, so please don't suggest that I do. Should I confront him? If I should how can I do so and maintain the peace as much as possible in the process. I would really value the opinion of a guy on this.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

I would mention the difference between the way he acts with you vs. His friends. Obv it's inevitable that we act a bit differently with our friends, but to an extent where you feel uncomfortable. It should definitely be brought up and called out

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

2 of the people outright insulted me while he wasn't around. I think they were talking shit about him too, but I'm not really sure, they might have been talking about someone else with a similar name, so I didn't want to call them out. I feel really bad because they kind of had a right to insult me. I was being really quiet because I have social anxiety, and aspergers syndrome. Me and social don't mix AT ALL. I'm like an alien. I have major resting bitch face too to add to the equation, so people automatically tend to assume that I'm an asshole.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

@hateocd123 Did he defend you?

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

@NocturnalGyal They left before he came back. I don't know if he's said anything to them about it. When I told him he got really upset, but he's very non confrontational, so I doubt it.

Ridethewave

Date posted: 5y

@hateocd123 Ugh that's so annoying. I can understand your frustration though. It definitely sounds like a civil talk needs to be had. It's no good use if you just keep your mouth shut about this because over time it'll turn into resentment

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

@NocturnalGyal You're right, but I always feel really guilty after I confront him about things.

hateocd123

Date posted: 5y

I feel like I literally gaslight myself. My ocd gaslights me.

? ilshid

Date posted: 5y

I feel like this is not entirely in your head. As you said yourself, there are some actual problems missed in. As long as those real problems in the real world are not fixed, your can't blame your brain alone for the way you feel. Talk to your boyfriend. Don't fight or shout at him. Just casually, when you're both feeling more or less fine, tell him what you wrote here. How you think everything always means more to you. How uncomfortable you are around his friends and how the fact that he doesn't seem to mind makes you feel. I'm all honesty, you did not mention anything about any obsessions or compulsions in your post. You only mentioned "normal" relationship doubts that are caused by real behaviours, not my your head.

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