hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

Please help 😭

I’m feeling really scared I’ve been left in the lurch by my therapist today as she said she doesn’t feel comfortable doing anymore therapy with me unless I increase my mirtazipine (Remeron) as my OCD has spiked a lot since I started with her and I’m only just at the beginning, but I’m not sure increasing my meds is the right thing to do so much as what she’s doing is causing it …….. basically my OCD theme is it tells me I’ve done horrendous things like I’ve harmed people, it’s in the affirmative tense not the “what if?” anymore, I guess it’s a bit like it tries to give me false memories but isn’t quite the same,and I just feel so unarmed how to deal with it and I’m really scared I’m going to end up in a very very dark place again 😭

sparklebark

Date posted: 14w

do you feel like you could tell her directly that you’re not comfortable with a med change yet, and that you feel that the skills and techniques she’s offered you have correlated with a sharp decrease in quality of life?

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@sparklebark I have told her. I’m not sure if she really took it on board although she has OCD herself and has conquered it. She said she runs a structured programme and if I was already getting triggered then I’d need more help from meds before she carries on

sparklebark

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK … it sounds like this therapist has only offered you one solution. mental health is not one size fits all. personally, i need to have a therapist who helps me work around roadblocks, and not give me just one option.

Hope1

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK Oh my I’m starting with a new one i’m hoping it’s not this one that you have because it would definitely trigger me.

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@Hope1 It won’t be the same one I’m in the UK. I think my OCD is just gripping on tighter as it knows I’m trying to combat it and I can’t see past it yet, f***king thing never wants me to believe it’s OCD

Hope1

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK I know exactly how you feel

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@Hope1 It’s literal hell every day 😭😭😭

Hope1

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK Yup

Hope1

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK I’ve been praying, and my mom keeps telling me to remember that I am praying and I’m standing from a place of victory not praying for victory. God goes before me. But it is a struggle.

sparklebark

Date posted: 14w

another thought: my anxiety decreased significantly when i started OCD therapy. much of my anxious thoughts and tendencies were linked to OCD more than anything else.

#happiness

Date posted: 14w

I’d up my meds if the therapist recommends it. It doesn’t hurt to try a higher dose.

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@#happiness I’m going to but I also suspect her therapy technique so far is partly to blame, it’s just totally riled my OCD!

#happiness

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK They say things get worse before they get better w therapy

Drew777

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK What is her therapy technique if you don't mind sharing a little bit more about it? It seems odd to me that she doesn't feel comfortable doing therapy with you anymore. I've never heard of a therapist saying that, but perhaps I'm just ignorant or naive.

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@Drew777 She said seeing as my anxiety has spiked it would be unethical of her to continue unless I increase my meds dose. I’ve posted about this last night, she tries insisting that it’s all just thoughts, and whilst yes I understand that, using the “thoughts are just thoughts” mantra doesn’t work with me expect to aggravate my OCD and make it feel very real because it’s based in something about an event that may or may not have occurred, like how does using that help for people with real event and false memory? It doesn’t, and so she’s just aggravated it all with this when I had had a reasonably calm month before starting with her

Drew777

Date posted: 14w

@hereintheUK I don't entirely know what she means by it being "unethical" of her to continue giving you therapy unless you increase your dose of meds. Why would it suddenly become anymore ethical than it is right now if your dosage was higher? Would she just feel better because you might not be quite as anxious as you are right now? I don't fully understand her reasoning. I understand her approach and technique with "thoughts are just thoughts", but I agree that a technique like that can't be applied in every given circumstance, especially with your particular theme of false memory OCD. I'm not saying that there is no basis for it with false memory OCD, but I think it should be applied lightly and in the right timing with patients. It definitely sounds like she has caused you to spiral to some degree. I'm not saying it's all on her, but it also doesn't sound like she has done much to help either, though.

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

@Drew777 So I would say it’s normal for it to spike your anxiety (especially in the beginning) as that is kind of the whole point of ERP. It sounds like your therapist is lacking confidence in her own abilities and/or training and doesn’t know what to do. I’m sorry they would put it on you like that. I would suggest reaching out to a member advocate for help. Either way, I would request another therapist via the NOCD web portal. A good therapist should have a few techniques up their sleeve to find one that works for you. I refused meds when I started at NOCD because I was trying to get pregnant. I knew I needed them and so did my therapist, but she continued to treat me and help me and I’m glad I was able to continue with it. She had more faith in me than I did and I’m in a lot better place now. Prior to NOCD I treated my OCD with only meds and now know that that was NOT a fix. Good luck to you….keep hanging in there!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 14w

@Anonymous Sorry meant to tag @hereintheUK

hereintheUK

Date posted: 14w

@Drew777 REBT with ERP. She’s not a NOCD therapist I’ve had 3 of them and got nowhere and suffered therapy harm from the last one in February it was really awful. She’s def caused me to spiral. My OCD just keeps screaming back “it’s not just thoughts though!” And “what if it’s real?” Like how does telling people it’s all thoughts work for those with real event? It’s really scared me how much my OCD makes it all feel real and like when you’ve lost sight a bit just from her insistence that I look at it all as just thoughts. OCD doesn’t respond so logic we know this. I’m just feeling lost now 😔

Lena1998

Date posted: 21w

Harm OCD made worse by psychiatrist visit

I went to talk to a psychiatrist based off my Nocd therapists recommendation. I had a very hard week beforehand where I had anxiety so bad I couldn't leave my bed. It seems like once I get my period my anxiety and everything dissipated some so I talked to the psychiatrist. Anyways, I was immediately put off by her because she told me she didn't have any information on me included in the referral for one reason or another. So I had to basically "fill her in" on my life story. I have anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD and PTSD. I told her these things and how hard the last week had been. She started asking questions like I had bipolar disorder, which I don't have. She then wanted me to take buspar and Zoloft TOGETHER daily. I know for a fact you never start two medications daily at once. You don't know which one is causing symptoms if you do. So I immediately didn't like that. I asked her about Zoloft specifically daily because it is an SSRI what I should do if it gave me thoughts of harm for myself. She told me "just go to the hospital".... Now, I don't wanna say that was the worst possible thing she could have said to me, but it was. Because now my OCD is spiraling that just my general harm OCD thoughts are enough to mean I need to go to the hospital. It had been 2 days and I cannot stop obsessing that maybe I'm depressed or suicidal because of this. I know I don't want anything to happen to me. I love my family and my friends. I am scared of death. But the thought is sticky and it's been so, so frustrating. My anxiety has been so frustrating. I feel so lost and like nothing I'm trying to fix my issues is working very well. NOCD therapy has been one of the only things to help in the long term, but I still get terrified of certain obsessions like suicide. I don't really know what to do, if anyone has any advice or any personal experience that may help, anything would be nice right now. I've felt so lost trying to figure it all out.

galina

Date posted: 15w

Bad session today

I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I can’t be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think I’m having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which I’m terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? I’m scared. I don’t want to get worse and I don’t want these thoughts to scare me.

hereintheUK

Date posted: 13w

Feel slapped in the face…..

So having not even made headway yet with sessions with my latest therapist (not NOCD) she has just left me hanging saying I’ve got too anxious and I need to increase my Remeron before she continues with me and won’t even give me a date to start again……… I don’t really want to increase my meds as it was what she was saying to me in therapy that upset me, or is it really supposed to get worse before it gets better? My career that I worked so hard for is literally hanging by a thread and her doing this to me means I have to stay off work longer and I’m just really upset by her actions and the potential knock on effects of this 😢

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