Knee Jerk compulsing

Can you explain it in more detail

I think I do something similar. Dozens of little compulsions, often due to a thought, and often they just happen regardless. Many of them (extra blinking, stretching wrist past an arbitrary point, touching a spot on a wall with a knuckle) seem to just happen without a thought triggering them. But when I notice it, I can get stuck in the loop of trying to get it just "right" or else my brain tells me something terrible to happen to someone you love. But that thought comes after the compulsion first starts. Anyway, I'm new to addressing all of this. But I've recently started to resist. If I don't get the compulsion right on the first try, then I try to hold myself back. It's really uncomfortable, but I'll distract myself with a video on my phone, or start talking to myself in my mind about some interest and try to get sucked into that thought instead. It's not perfect, but makes me more aware of those sudden compulsions and also more aware of them potentially happening beforehand so I can stop it from the beginning. Again, it's no amazing solution but I see some benefit for myself and hope it may apply for you as well.

Yeah, a lot of mine are like that too. Most of mine are mental or vision-based. Some examples for me are: creating an intrusive thought before I even get one, dealing with an intrusive thought by letting it grow and get worse until I “feel the anxiety” so my brain can hit the stop button (spoiler, that barely ever happens), and honestly, any kind of checking. Literally any form of testing or checking. And of course, ruminating goes wild for me. It has all just become so habitual. I usually do not even notice until I am already doing it or after I have done it. Sometimes I feel like I am losing it because I am pretty sure my OCD has been around longer than I have actually been diagnosed. These are things I have done my whole life, so now it almost feels like OCD is just a label slapped on what has always been “normal” for me. I think it is really hard for us to know what normal even is anymore because we have become so used to living with this OCD-ness. I don’t really have advice, because I thought that being more aware or “mindful” and what was a compulsion would help. But all that did was make me super hyperaware of every single thought and action, which made my real event stuff even worse because OCD twisted all of it and made the intentions behind my compulsions feel distorted. So if I had to give one piece of advice, it would be to not analyze the compulsion. Just forgive yourself and move on if you catch it happening. Do not ruminate over it, because ruminating about compulsions is a compulsion too, and it creates this **very** confusing mess of mental loops.