Todays the day. I've really been wondering about how....even If I get diagnosed with OCD, I'm still a bad person......How come being a good person is so difficult and rare...Why am I always compelled to be horrible, I don't understand

bad people do worry about being bad though.... There are monsters who show remorse for their actions and think that just because they do, that makes it better. It doesn't. I'm just like them.

@Vimli Remorse isn’t the same as worrying you’re just a bad person. People feel remorse for things they regret doing after soul searching, you’re clearly not like that or you wouldn’t be posting here worried about it How many criminals do you ever see posting on ocd forums? None

@uwotm8 This isn't about criminals.....I'm so sick of the only available reassurance being provided to me telling me I'm not a bad person being "well you havent committed any crime". What about everything else I've done. Just because it's not on my criminal record, doesnt mean it all of a sudden absolves me of being a hideous human being

@Vimli You’re missing my point You’re obviously not a bad person, because the very idea makes you recoil in horror

@uwotm8 then why do I do and think horrible shit (and by that I don't mean intrusive thoughts, sometimes I willingly think or try to rationalize behaviors that I know are wrong and then I feel like an absolute moron because I know from the start that what I'm thinking about is absolutely wrong and stupid, but the whole process of me trying to justify it just solidifies the fact that I'm a piece of garbage.

@Vimli Probably because you aren’t *actually* willingly thinking them! intrusive thoughts aren’t always that obvious I struggle to tell the difference myself and I already have a diagnosis, I think you’re wrestling with that because you haven’t been told officially but the thoughts you have clearly cause you distress which in my eyes, it’s probably ocd

@uwotm8 I really don't think so. My intrusive thoughts have a specific feel to it. I can tell when they arent intrusive and when it's me being a total shithead.

@Vimli Reassurance is taken not given

@uwotm8 I'm just telling you the truth. I appreciate you trying to be nice, but how come no one is ever holding me accountable and calling me out when before I even had OCD - I could fart and people would want to murder my whole family...

@Vimli What do you mean?

@uwotm8 I spent my teenage years growing up on tumblr...aka the website where people will call you a pedophile just because they dont like you. Because of the fact that I spent my teenage years on there - this is why I have this mindset of destroying myself over every not perfect thing I do. It feels like every person that hated me on that website manifested in my head and now I live in an eternal call out post. This is why I'm so harsh and vehement towards being so harsh to myself.

@Vimli There we go you answered your own question! How did your appointment go?

@uwotm8 I got diagnosed with OCE

@Vimli I knew you would!! Lol ? see not a bad person

@uwotm8 I guess...