Anonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Had a similar experience I would say to just talk about the feelings/thoughts you feel on here and to a therpaist as talking about it but not to your partner is the best thing to do as those thoughts/feelings aren’t you it is your ocd if you are having the same experience as me if it gets really bad maybe you need to have a break so that you can try and realise your true thoughts/feelings towards your partner and fight the ocd as your brain can see what it’s like not having them fully in your life sorry if this doesn’t make sense
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Sorry to hear about what happend to you bud mental illness can really fuck with our lives so much?. Yeah I got similar/same thoughts/urges aswell mate I think personally the best thing is not to say to her the thoughts like your doing now and sounds like if the meds were working after a while of getting the meds back into your system you will have these urges less or no more. Do you get the urges a lot then. Also do you live in the uk by any chance?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Usually worse in a morning and mid afternoon sort of varies and get the thoughts I don’t love her for a few hours and then swaps to I love her but don’t want to be with her I can see other women on tv or in the street and my brain starts telling me I want to be with them ffs and yes mate notts area of England
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
@gavsherry Literally had the same thoughts and feelings bud it is so shit but it’s good that you are treating your meds again and taking on here I think that will help a lot. Okay nice was wondering if you are doing any therapy or anything like that?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Natedog I am mate had 3 sessions with ocd specialist not seen her for a month tho booked another app with her for end of month how I’m trying to rationalise with out obsessing is I must obviously care for her or I wouldn’t be on here or worrying about it soon as I get the thoughts I feel sick to my stomach if I didn’t care it wouldn’t bother me and I wouldn’t be fighting so hard to beat it
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
@gavsherry Oh okay that’s good bud glad to hear. Yeah that makes sense bud sounds like you do really care about her. Well done bud for trying so hard you will eventually get to a state again when you feel more at ease with her everything when your meds kick back in and you keep working on yourself and also talking about the thoughts/feelings you are having on here ect
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Natedog Really appreciate the chat bud iv been with her over 5 years were best friends as well as partners were due to marry next year do u agree with the term of love is a choice etc I never saw it that way before but I’m starting to
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Glad I could help bud you have a similar experience to what I had but you have handled it much better and been more open minded so I’m glad to help in anyway to see you make the right decisions/mind set per say if you get what I mean lol?.Damb that’s amazing mate really happy for you congrats. What do you mean by a choice?
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
That’s really good anyhow that you are starting to talk about it i was gonna say it would be best too as big things like that in your life need to be talked about and not held in to help move on slightly/heal. Yeah I understand why you would do that there is pressure to be accepted by other people and yeh to fit in it’s not nice to not. That’s good bud and yeah I know exactly what you mean can ruin shit as you can’t stop thinking about it and can take a while for it to ease down
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Take care buddy hopefully chat again soon been a real help
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
@gavsherry You too bud yeah so have you g thanks
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Makes a lot of sense matey thanks u see when I just read the part saying take a break from her I got a massive burst of anxiety and like nooo I don’t wanna do that or be apart from her so kinda realise it’s my ocd telling me I don’t wanna be with her etc then my true self kicks in and says yea u do I had a few good weeks felt back to normal etc forgot my meds for about a week then bang it’s back I believe iv kickstarted it back off due to missing my meds
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Plus always feel worse when she’s. it around if that makes sense then when she gets home I feel guilty for feeling this way
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah I had the same thing. Oh okay so did you not have these feelings/thoughts when you were on the meds yeh. Cos I was going of my experience when I didn’t have meds or therpaist or this app. Yeah I had the same feeling bud it really sucks how ocd messes with our head as we have no control over the intrusive thoughts/feelings that come into our head because of it and never allows us to relax and be our true selves but yeah especially when they are with us the ocd feeds more off it? do you tell her your thoughts that you get because of it?
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
The feelings and thoughts I can’t say I really noticed them when the meds kicked in I first experienced it last Xmas I left her and went back to my mums I was there about 13 hours and totally regretted it and went home was happy upto about June had some money issues lost my business through anxiety etc and just seem to have spiralled then was on meds from mid June felt better for a few weeks last month then like I said forgot to take meds and feel crap again I used to tell her the thoughts /feelings etc she was very supportive now I don’t say anything but seem to get urges to say I don’t love her and want to split etc then fee really upset at the thought of not having her in my life
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
Watched kiyomi fai on YouTube awaken into love she says love is a choice u choose who want to give ur love to instead of this fairytale myth of falling in love etc
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
I dunno to be honest as this will sound stupid but I’m only 18 but only had one girlfriend for two years who I am not with anymore because of what my mental illness did to me long story lol so I don’t really know what love is meant to feel like if ya get me but I think eventhough my mind isn’t sure about anything, that love is a partnership based on wanting to be with that person based on feeling comfortable around them and being able to be yourself and I guess be happy with spending every day with that person in a way compared to anyone else I’m bad at explaining things lol but yeah I think there is a lot of pressure and imagination around love being like a fairtale and all these thoughts in your head and feelings and moments lol and I think that fucks peoples head especially ones with mental illnesses but I think that’s not true it’s just being happy to be around that person I guess sorry for being a fanny hahaha
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
No mate I agree with what ur saying a lot of my mental health stems from loss my dad passed away 7 years ago my ex wife was constantly cheating on me and being physically abusive etc
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Shit man really sorry to hear that must of been hard do you talk to people about it much ?. But happy you have found your girlfriend and things are going well with her?. Mine started with anxiety/depression in primary school and continued from there and early on in secondary I developed ocd I’ve never had any proper friends/been shy and was bullied from primary school onwards pretty much just a lot of shit has collided through time to cause most of it to be pretty lonely and depressive if ya get me long story to explain all haha I’m so bad at explaining my thoughts and things I have been through lol ect?sos
NatedogNatedog
- Date posted
- 5y
Also weird question but how does being with your girl like make you feel/think as I had in my head a lot of pressure/ocd aswell to how I was meant to feel and was always worried about what I was supposed to feel sounds weird ik
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 5y
@Natedog To be honest iv only just started talking about it to the therapist I was also bullied so to speak through school I started telling little white lies to make myself look cooler and be accepted could never really be myself I just wanted to fit in so more I think about it ocd has been in my life in some way a long long time with my current partner I can be myself that’s al she wants from me just to be myself most of the time I feel great when with her but I do get the pressure feeling in my head at times if I go a few hours laughing and joking with her then realise I haven’t had a bad thought in that time I seem to get flooded with them then
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