What can i do besides look for reassurance

This app is the worst at times, very conflicting advice I keep worrying about STDs despite already checking. Some people say “don’t check again it’s a compulsion” and others say “check for peace of mind then”

@uwotm8 Why's it the worst? I'm talking about the ERP feature specifically. If you've already checked then don't check again. When it comes to OCD any amount of checking won't be enough because there's always this "what if".

@the future is vegan :) Because that feature is confusing and all it does is say “I have to accept that I might have an std and move on” - absolutely fucking not gonna accept that lol and the forum itself is conflicting

@uwotm8 I will never accept any “possibility” of an STD. 100% not gonna do that I would rather die. I don’t wanna lose my partner or be infertile

@uwotm8 But that's how ERP works. If you want to keep having OCD, then don't do erp. But if you want to get better, then you have to. Start with an exposure that doesn't cause a lot of anxiety (although it should make you anxious).

@the future is vegan :) Erp to me is just forcing yourself not to have ocd - when I already didn’t fucking want it. It’s the only condition people tell you to not have, in order to not have it

@uwotm8 No one wants to have OCD. We all suffer the same. But I can tell you that doing compulsions won't make anything better. You just keep the OCD cycle going.

My issue at the moment is my eye. I had conjunctivitis in my eye and now I have a lump in my eye. It’s been there for THREE months! So it’s constantly reminding me I had conjunctivitis- conjunctivitis *can* be caused by stds therefore I might have one in my eye. Because they haven’t swabbed it I don’t accept I’m fine. The optician said it’s not that but because I swabbed everywhere else BUT my eye cuz no one will do it, I feel like I’m gonna infect myself from eye to genitals, my partner will think I cheated and leave me Then I really WILL lose my shit

@uwotm8 Did you mention it to him then? Also, he's the professional so trust him that he knows the best.

@the future is vegan :) Yes she said multiple times and I’m going there later too. I’m not satisfied that it’s fine. I’m due a small surgical procedure on my eye but I’m not sure when either. I’m just so fucking paranoid I’m gonna give myself an std from my eye and I honestly won’t cope if that happened. I cannot lose him I actually won’t survive

@uwotm8 So she said that you don't have one. Leave it there.

@the future is vegan :) How do I know how the conjunctivitis was harmless though unless it was swabbed? This whole thing escalated because I had physical symptom after physical symptom. They ALLLLLLL overlapped with harmless things and STDs. This is why I cannot let it go I have to be sure I’m not putting myself or my partner at risk

@uwotm8 So you had other symptoms that overlapped? And she didn't find anything

@the future is vegan :) As in I have had symptoms like vaginal itching ab painful peeing etc so I panicked then, tested negative Then I kept repeating tests another 6 times all negative But I’m scared my eye might have it anyway and the what if is too strong to ignore

@uwotm8 Is it even possible for just your eye to be infected? If so, okay sure go check with your doctor but then NO MORE checking

@the future is vegan :) Well, everyone seems to say it’s not possible without it infecting your genitals too, and apparently “there’s no evidence to suggest you can pass it from eye to genitals” but that sounds too vague for me

@uwotm8 Do you think you'd stop doing conpulsions after checking just that one thing? Ask your doctor if it's possible, she knows the best

@the future is vegan :) Yeah but no one will swab it!!! They just keep telling me I would still have a red eye - I don’t have a red eye but I STILL HAVE A LUMP

@the future is vegan :) This shit makes me wanna die

@uwotm8 Did you ask her about that then?

@the future is vegan :) Yes that’s what I’m having the surgical procedure on but I haven’t got a date yet

She said that if my tests were negative then my eye is too but I don’t trust it

@uwotm8 She's the professional.

@the future is vegan :) For my own sanity I just went to the optician again she says it’s a cyst and so did her colleague when she looked too, and that if it was related to STDs I’d have them in yknow the _normal_ fucking places people get STDs and you can’t have them in your fucking eye without it being in your bits and bobs as well- and also she’d send me to the clinic herself if she thought it was that, said there’s no need to worry about that at all and they don’t swab eyes for it either ?

@uwotm8 Sounds like it went well! Try not to overthink it now