i dont know

my father was never that good of a person to begin with as he beat us when we were kids, but today as he was pissed as he was repairing tubes in the sink my cat was meowing and in the way and he got annoyed and basically kicked her away with the shin. I have moral scrupolosity ocd, and when people do something like these it irks me to the core. I tolerate my father, but after this i feel like a moral obligation to not accept him. but i physically can't, he's my father and also the only economical provider for us, i have to go to him to learn to drive and etc. i don't know. what should i do? isolating him is not an option, i just feel like i cant be friendly with him anymore. if he gets angry at me and screams i dont really care, but to do that to my cat idk.

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

Have you thought about talking to a social worker to get some form of assistance? Your school might have one. If youre stuck with him then maybe try working with the bitterness and do your best to forgive. Maybe just being gentle about the whole thing will rub off on him. Really all you can do for now maybe.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 12w

I mean other than this cat episode thing, other than shouting and being a bit immature my father didnt do me much wrong, he provides for me and my brother in his own way. he is not who he was many years ago but he still has those anger issues so you have to like "baby" him and have a lot of patience and swallow your ego. I currently have a good relationship with my father, but but i dont know in my heart if i can accept that he willingly kicked the cat, if i kept being friendly it wouldnt sit right to me. thanks for the advice

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

@Nameless000 I know. My dad was the same. Couldnt get angry or he would get angrier? Means well but short tempered and insecure? Doesnt take feedback? If it's worth saying something, maybe make a joke out of it to lessen the blow to his ego. "In one corner we have [insert dad's name], the plumber maestro. In the other corner, we have [insert cat's name] the INTEROLABLE feline fiend who's looking for its next meal. Will dad be able to fend off [cat] and restore the water to the people before [cat] gets too hungry and eats the village? Let's find out"

ivefailed.

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous haha, that's a creative way to think! but i don't understand what you mean to lessen the blow to his ego, i didnt tell him anything, it's just something that i currently feel because of his actions, so idk

Anonymous

Date posted: 12w

@Nameless000 Sometimes its hard for people to take feedback "You just kicked my cat too hard dad" because it feels like criticism and they have a hard time admitting to themselves or others that they did something wrong. Maybe he's not used to being gentle with himself either. I grew up cutting myself off from my dad emotionally or pretending I was fine when I wasn't. And he wasnt all bad either, taught me how to be the best parallel parker I knew, how to shave, change a tire, and I still use his advice for a lot of things over 13 years later, but I grew up resenting the fact that I was good at those things because he taught them to me, and kind of grew up super bitter at myself for holding onto to so many grudges too. I guess I just want to give you the inside scoop on what helps in case you don't want to bottle it up and talk to him about it, or feel like you have to hate him and give him the ol' cold shoulder just to take care of your cat.

ivefailed.

Date posted: 12w

@Anonymous thanks for opening up to me, it really helps knowing other people had the same type of the father. I guess I will keep doing what i'm good at which is compassion, even for those who are imperfect.

emma345

Date posted: 19w

Scared to interact with my cat because of zocd

NSFW 17f So basically I did something sexual to the cat when I was younger. It wasn't like full on bestiality, my privates weren't touching the cat and I wasn't touching the cats privates but it was still sexual. I didn't know what I was doing was wrong. It didn't harm the cat in any way, but of course it's still horrible. So I developed real event ocd that ruined my life complitely. Most of the time I don't think I will male it to 20. Sometimes it's a living hell. I developed it more than a year ago and I barely even remember this year cause I was so consumed with guilt it was the only thing in my head. So i also developed zoophilia ocd because of it. And I feel so bad cause I can't interact with my cat anymore. Because she wants to and I have to ignore her. Slowly I started to be scared to let her on my bed. So I stopped. Then in my room. Stopped doing that too. I still tried to give her some attention just outside of my room. Then I got scared to touch her. So I stopped doing that, but I used her brush to pet her with it and her toys to play with her so i don't physically touch her. Then my ocd went like but what if you are subconsciously using her for sexual gratification when you look at her? So now I can't even look at my cat. I look away when she is around, block my sight with a hand, close my eyes or if I can I leave. But the heartbreaking part is. Before I remembered what I did I was giving my cat a lot of attention. Like everyone says I'm her favorite and she only allows me to hold her and pet her the certain ways. So for all that time she is desperately trying to get my attention. She jumps on my rooms door, meows for a long time, tries to sneak in my room and stuff like that. And It's so sad I just have to ignore her. Especially cause she doesn't understands why. She was getting so much love and then randomly she is being ignored?? idk her real age cause we took her from the street, but she lives with us for 13 years, so she is not young. She is pretty healthy so I don't think she is going to die any soon but still. if I never get over it she will spend her last years of life ignored. and this makes me want to cry and want to throw up. but I don't know what to do. if I touch her I start freaking out and convincing myself that I used her somehow for sexual stuff even if I didn't do anything like that. I'm so scared. and also sad for her. and I miss my cat tbh. like everhtime I have to close my door when she tried to enter I feel so bad. but I'm so scared. because after what I did to her I'm already a monster. I don't want to add anything else. but I also feel bad for ignoring her.

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 18w

Help

I'm currently crying rn as I write this post. I feel horrible and scared. I recently had an argument with my dad. I hate being angry because my intrusive thoughts get so much worse. We were arguing in a heated way and he came up to my face and I noticed my own reaction which was that my fists clenched up (I become very hyper aware of myself) Anyway I realized they were clenched and that they twitched in anger. I remember telling myself "please no please this doesn't mean I'll act out. Please no don't think. I really do not want to hurt anyone. Please I'm not losing control. Please dont act out." And I started to cry I stopped arguing but began to cry in anger and fear. I'm scared this means I was going to act out. I didn't want to talk to him anymore I just shut down and he asked me what's wrong with me and I just responded with "you're making me very angry. I need some space now okay?" And he said he wasn't very angry with me and I shouldn't be angry with him and he left me alone but I feel so guilty. Did I want to hurt him? This is causing me way too much distress.

Harm OCD

emma345

Date posted: 16w

Please help zocd

tw: nsfw 17f I have a real even ocd from a sexual event with an animal (my cat) from where I was younger. Remembering it ruined my life and made it a living hell. It was bad. It's not one of those innocent events people always assume because I have ocd and then they get all surprised when it was actually bad and sexual. (animal wasn't harmed though) So basically I developed I fear of interacting or even looking at animals after I remembered so I was avoiding my cat like crazy, but then I realized that it's cruel to ignore an animal who wants love and attention, so I forced myself to overcome it kinda. I basically downloaded a habit tracker where I mark when I was able to pet my cat cause while it's triggering I want to give my cat love and I'm trying to pet her everyday So yesterday I was petting the cat. And she was extremely enthusiastic about it. Like she was almost throwing herself on me to get more pets like kinda agressive at this point to get pets. I started thinking how animals go in heat in spring. But she is like sterilized so I wasnt sure its possible for her. Like maybe they are just more active in spring? But what if the pets are somehow sexual for the cat? Then I thought maybe I shouldn't pet her then cause that's wrong. But then I thought like who cares and also then it will be like this the whole spring should I just not touch her the whole spring and ignore her again? I was also tired a bit so I wasn't thinking it all through that much Now I'm freaking out so bad. Like I knew there was a possibility that it was sexual for the cat and still continued petting her I didn't stop. It's so bad. Like I thought its whatever since it's not sexual for me but now I'm freaking out. Like the whole me being a better person and learning on my mistakes after that one earlier event was for nothing if I was able to do something like this I'm freaking out so bad

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