My brain keeps telling me to cover my dogs nose and suffocate him.:. I’ve covered his nose before for 10 seconds and idk why I kept doing it like am I trying to kill him is it a compulsion UGH I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS , I’m trying not to post on here but it’s nice to know others input if I’m a psycho or not …. Reassurance is sometimes needed idc what anyone says .
Had this with my cat, was given a ton of urges to hurt or kill her. Started ERP after going to the mental hospital and being recommended to go to nocd. Get a therapist from NOCD if you don't have one already, it's worth it.
@mriley♥ How are the urges now 💜
@ocdsuxxx Pretty much completely gone and when they do show up, I know how to handle them now!!
@mriley♥ Oh wow ! I’ve been to the hospital 3 times they only tried cbt I’m glad you’re over it ! I hope to get there asap
@ocdsuxxx It definitely takes time, but ERP is the way ♥️
We as your ocd supporters are not going to give you reassurance. Are you familiar with exposures?
@ERP is the way to be Yes I’ve done them on my own but idk if it even works
So here's one thing i've noticed really helps me when my brain just throws a bunch of ocd thoughts at me: don't react to the thoughts. That's all they are, just thoughts. Literally all you have to do is observe the thought and don't have a reaction to it. That's the cool part about it is that OCD is literally just thoughts, and you don't have to comply with or even react to them, and when you observe and don't react to them you literally feel the OCD get enraged (or at least I do) because you stopped giving it power, and if you don't give it power it literally can't do shit
@ShadowR1der But mine isn’t just thoughts it demands me to act on it an urge and it’s like I almost do act on it
@ocdsuxxx See but now here's what you can do in my opinion: Stop doing the compulsion I promise you, to me it looks like holding your dogs nose is not something you actually want to do, it's a way you can quiet the thoughts urging you to do that. Seriously try this, next time your brain tells you to do it, instead of doing the compulsion, sit with the thought for like 30 seconds and view it as another thought in the list of thoughts you have had today, not necessarily good or bad, just a thought that came into your mind. I promise you that someone who genuinely wants to do that would not care about the dog squirming or get anxiety over it.
@ShadowR1der Thank u so much 💜😭 how are u managing 💕
@ocdsuxxx Holding up pretty well! The technique I just told you of lets me avoid a lot of the stress of OCD, even if I do feel slightly worse in the short term, in the long term I know i'm doing two things 1. I'm teaching my mind that there is no danger, and there is nothing to fear and 2. This is something I can overcome I strongly suspect that my ocd is related to my chronic illness that i'm getting treatment for, so hopefully once that's gone I will have little to no ocd problems! :)
@ShadowR1der I hope so !! We don’t deserve this illness
@ShadowR1der I just don’t know why it feels like I wanna hurt them like a true want :( they’re supposed to be unwanted
@ocdsuxxx See these are my two favorite videos on OCD: https://youtu.be/WZUOnhpqFAM?si=Ny6cYFmKwXSSKdSj https://youtu.be/xxvMYGT23Ww?si=05nL1iNyfIfcbxSA You're not alone in your thoughts or compulsions, even the youtuber I linked who's a therapist talks about how he has so many people who have these compulsion and automatically jump to the conclusion that they're psychotic lol, hell even when I have those types of thoughts I used to jump to that conclusion, but eventually realized the only thing that would stop those thoughts was a compulsion, and thats when I realized oh its ocd haha
@ocdsuxxx but think about it this way, there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I love my life so much that I think my ocd is sort of a manifestation of how afraid I am to lose it you know? And that's a powerful realization, at least for me, I love my life so much that the fear of losing it just is *that* strong
Well the thing is to just realize you can handle the discomfort . What happen to your dog when you held his nose for ten seconds?
@ERP is the way to be He squirmed and I felt bad and got anxiety but I kept doing it over and over I think as a compulsion or maybe I wanna kill him idk I don’t deserve to be here
@ocdsuxxx Please see an OCD therapist, if anything really just for you. My guess is that you're actually acting on the thoughts because youre afraid that youre going to like it and youre "experimenting" (if you will) to reassure yourself that you don't actually like it or want to do it... or maybe you're afraid something super bad is going to happen if you don't? Idk, do either of those make sense or sound like you?
@Anonymous And I'm sorry if that sounded a little judgy or worried, I just imagine that no matter what the guilt about covering up his nose can be pretty hard to deal with over time if you keep doing it and I hate for that to take over.
@Anonymous Yes but then I also don’t know it’s so confusing I think I’m psycho killer
@ocdsuxxx I thought ppp with ocd don’t act on thoughts like I need to go to jail
I think you could write a worst case scenario of what would happen if you held his nose for longer than ten seconds . Remember the goal is to push yourself to feel distressed. You are teaching those parts of your brain that think you are in danger that you are not . Remember discomfort is not danger . So you could write a worst case scenario . When you write be as specific as possible . Like what you smell, what you hear , the temperature everything
I think the idea would be to write a worse case scenario of what would happen if you *didn't* hold your dog's nose for 10 seconds :) and see what comes up
@Anonymous I should have started with asking if she is able to get a ocd therapist. If @ocdsuxxx can get a ocd therapist that would be my first line of defense . When it comes to how @ocdsuxxx should write out a scenario depends on which one cause her discomfort . If both cause discomfort you could start with the one that give you the least amount of discomfort . Once you can handle that discomfort, in A different day you could try the one that causes more discomfort
I see you've posted about this compulsion of suffocating your dog multiple times over the past few weeks. Please consider seeking help from your therapist as soon as you can and have a friend or family member watch your dog until you have received help. Compulsions happen, its normal. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly and try not to panic over it. I really hope you can get the help you need 🩷
@KinseyC So I’m a danger 😭?
I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
I don’t know why but today I feel so incredibly angry right now and I was so frustrated with everything including my two dogs. I didn’t hurt them or hit them or anything but I was particularly annoyed and angry when they were trying to get presumably a bunny or a raccoon from underneath the shed, so I had to pull my small dog away when he wouldn’t budge away from the shed and i couldn’t pick him up because I was not close enough. I feel bad because I know I love my dogs but oh my god I just get so annoyed with them and on top of them everything else I have to just shut down all day and the things I don’t understand. I feel like I’m going insane. I don’t want my dogs to think I don’t love them because i was angry and annoyed at them. I know they’re just animals and they love me and I love them. I want them to know I’m sorry for even getting mad. I wish I didn’t feel so angry and yet so disconnected at the same time. I’m terrified I’m an evil person or that I don’t love my pets or something. I started to hit myself and punch myself because I do that when I get over the edge angry. I don’t know why I feel angry. It’s a mix of anger and emptiness and I don’t want either of them especially towards my dogs.
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