what do i do? do i tell him? their marriage has been loveless for years and she hates him, it makes us miserable, and i just found messages of her and a past relationship that shes been talking to since march (but im betting its been since before that) do i tell him? it would cause a lot of chaos, my mom wouldn’t trust me anymore, im not sure what to do help please
i came on NOCD because i have no other adult (im only 18) to talk to about it
update im talking to one of my dad’s friends i hope this wasn’t a mistake
Maybe tell a trusted adult or a counselor? Do you have a friend you can talk to? How do you know they are romantically involved and she is not just talking to an old friend? (Just asking there were no details given)
@Anonymous they’re sending tiktoks calling eachother wife and husband, sending videos that talk about explicit things, etc. this guy is also an ex of hers, and she cheated on her ex husband with this same guy. so here she marries husband1, cheats on husband1 with this guy, divorces husband1 meets my step dad who i call dad, gets married, then cheats on my step dad with the same guy that she cheated on husband1 with theres more to the story but the messages i found were not platonic i talked to my dad’s friend and she told me to tell him tomorrow so that is the plan
@helpmeeee_ I agree with telling your step dad as the truth will eventually show somewhere and since you already happen to know, choosing silence is still being an accomplice to the person who made bad choices. Not to mix up if you need a momentary silence to figure and gather information, but there's a difference between gathering a short time versus waiting too long for the right time because there's never really a best time to talk about sad news. I hope whatever happens still goes smoothly for you and I'm sorry to hear someone that's suppose to care for family has made immature choices. You were very mature to get help and choosing to be part of the truth. There can be temporary pain for the possible upcoming changes of everyone's relationship but it would be more suffering in silence and the inevitable.
@Anonymous i told him, but he believes my mom (even though there is blatant evidence) and now my mom is trying to butter up with buying me things
@helpmeeee_ I'm sorry I can't be of more help and I'm sorry this is happening to you. ❤️ I hope you find peace.
@helpmeeee_ Hi helpmeeee, then you have done your minimum necessary to value your honesty and integrity. The rest is for the adults involved in how they react and handle of such affairs. Sometimes relationships get better oddly enough because it's now out in the open and they are okay with such arrangements even if it's not a common practice. It's rare so that's why there's been debates of how it's ill advised to keep things unsaid or keep trying to fight for the truth of either sides because humans have their own autonomy, complexities, and values. It's up to you if you want to enjoy the things your mom buys because irregardless of the reason the items are separate objects. Otherwise without worrying what others think and more about if your values doesn't like such attachment to the gifts you can politely decline the gifts. I personally have done both ways as some items were practical in my life or to help if anything were to go down and have decline bribery because I felt with this particular person was going to get the wrong message from me and keep treating me worse because of the gift. I also know firsthand there will be pleading/gifting and claims of obligations even if I don't get gifts so I chose cautiously what and even I accept gifts. I learned when someone pulls up "but i got you this gift years ago so you have to be on my side" I responded "I thought you got it for my early birthday present! Was that your intention to give me things so I have to do what your say and you didn't gift it out of love?" 99% of the time they are speechless. The one time they agreed shamelessly to yes, I respond with "well then you can have it back. It's not a gift or proper contract" which makes them shut up and even if they want it back I end up never giving them back. Should have put it in a contract if they want such demands which is already silly. Let your step dad, friend, mom handle the rest. Your step dad may need time or something else as a deal breaker or change. Parents can be resilient that way, it does suck if it's about tolerating bad behavior rather than having a goal to be resilient to become a person they respect. Not all evidence are treated equally to each person. Hopefully you have good friends to support you in this time and just live your life respectfully to yourself even if you're around questionable flawed people. You got a good head on you to recognize and take action which is better than most adults I've come across. Those adults didn't want to grow to accept any evidence, good or bad. They only changed when they were finally done struggling with their current method to finally want to try to do something else.
My parents, after 20 years together, are getting a divorce. I don’t really know how to process these emotions — I’m mad, I’m upset, and I feel hopeless. As much as I wish they would keep fighting for their relationship, it feels like they’ve just… given up. I know I’m older than most kids are when their parents split, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, it almost feels like it hurts more. Everything I’ve known for the past 18 years is changing. I won’t see my dad around the house the same way. They say they’re going to stay friends — and I hope they do — but I can’t help asking: if they can stay friends, then why can’t they just work it out? I don’t have all the answers. But the little girl inside of me is heartbroken… I don't know if I will get through this alone. I wish I had someone who is going through this or has gone through it from my age or older.
Just feel like getting it off my chest since I was little I always felt like my mom was my enemy like she was always competing with me and was always boy thirsty she never really focused on me although it was always me and her because I would never rly see my dad since they weren’t together I feel as if she was never really their it was alway other people taking care of me not her and I hold a lot of resentment towards her because I feel like she try’s to play this role of innocent mom whos kid hates her for no reason but that could be farther frm the truth she would always just focus on her bfs and whenever she would fight with them she would take it out on me or if she would see them making a bond with me she would also get mad the other day too I had memories of when I was 8-9 she would take me to her friends house who had two boys 10-11 and I remember we would always play ruff but their would be times where I remember they would bend me over and hump me and I never said anything I also remembered this one time she took me with this random lady and I only went that one time but I recall a boy who looked to be 13 like a teenager he told me to go under the bed and at the time I was very little like probably no more then 7 and I rember he started touching me and kissing me I never got rapid or anything tho but very touchy and I was telling my bf about it and I started crying because I hadn’t thought abt those things since years ago and now that I remembered I can’t forget and no one knew because I never told anyone but my bf just comforted me and hugged me but it makes me really sad and I know my mom wouldn’t care if I told her she also has kicked me out about 8 times already and we even had a cps case which she still blames me for although it was her fault and she also always does stuff just to upset me on purpose she also made fun of me bien suicidal and would joke about it with anyone she could get the chance too theirs a lot more that I could talk about for hours but this is already very long point is I hold so much anger and resentment towards her and if I’m being completely transparent I truly can say I hate her I feel so bad about it because in the end she is my mom but I can’t forgive her for the stuff she’s done to me and the stuff I’ve had to go through because of her I wish I could fix our relationship but at the same time I feel hopeless and like theirs no fixing it
I’m currently in a very emotionally stressful situation with my partner. We had a huge argument because I did something I had promised not to do again: I looked at my ex-partner’s profile. To me, it didn’t have any real emotional meaning. It was impulsive, meaningless, almost automatic. But my partner was deeply hurt – and I understand why. I told him about it. We talked. It was hard. But after that, things got even worse for me. I suddenly remembered that it didn’t just happen once. And since then, I’ve been stuck in this thought loop and I don’t know if it’s OCD or not So, should I tell him that it was more than once?”– if I should tell him, even if it might mean he’ll leave me. Should I confess this? I urgently need advice. I don’t know if this is OCD or not – the thought suddenly came to me in that situation. I have been formally diagnosed with OCD. But if I know that my partner would see this as very serious and might possibly leave me over it – shouldn’t I still tell him? I feel so awful and I’m having panic attacks. Is this OCD?
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